BF of 3 years ''needs space''??

[Ems]

I have been together with my boyfriend for 3 years next month, We have been in a long distance relationship the whole time, i live in europe and he lives in the states.

We have been doing great until now, Last fall i got a visa for the states packed my bags lived with him for half a year and my goodness that was the most amazing time I've ever had, and he agrees to that. I had to leave the states because i only had a 6 month visa, it was the hardest thing ever cause we were so attached already!

Now recently (a month and a half ago about) he got a little weird, i could wake up to my own texts being the last one so he hadn't texted me back for like 6hours, and he just seems a little off, i asked him what was up and he said he has been thinking and that he is questioning the relationship now. To me this came as a complete surprise, i really thought after that half a year with him that we are unbreakable and that this is it, now i know i want to be with him.

However that seems not to be the case as he asked for a break and some space to think, since i love him more than anything i of course told him ill give him the time he needs and i asked him if ''break'' means single or what, and he said no I'm not going to change nothing i just need to think a little. Allright well it has now been a month and a half and i feel like it havent moved one way or another, sometimes he can be talking about coming to fix my car this summer or when does the swimming reason start here and all this and then sometimes it just feels like he doesn't even want to talk.

I always let him text me so that i dont seem pushy and that way he gets to contact me when he feels like it. He contacts me every day and seems to be talking more, this week he asked if he could call and he said he misses me and that he feels like he wants to talk to me more and that thats a good thing.

about a week after he asked for space he started liking tons of pictures of girls on social media (girls i know), and it totally hurt my feelings but i let it run for like 3 weeks and it just tore me apart so bad that i confronted him about it, he apologised and said he didn't see it as anything but a picture, after this he haven't done it.

He said he doesn't know if he can do the ''see each other only so often anymore'' i thought i might have to go to school for like 3-4 years but now it is set in stone that i have a year left until I'm completely done with school i thought this was going to make it better but it didn't change much...He is super busy with school and a lot of stuff on the side but still.. I'm getting depressed here, because i feel as if i am putting in so much effort for this not to break and sometimes i feel its only me in this game anymore.

GUYS am i just being way too nice here and totally blue eyed and paralysed of love towards this man? I have never seen a future in any other relationship before besides this one, we are both 21 years old so not super young and stupid. i want to add that i have never pushed him towards marriage or anything like it, i want to marry when the time is right not for any other reason and i dont feel like i am ready so not like i am going to push it.

I am in desperate need of opinions please help!

[surfhb]

I'm pretty sure he's interested in someone else. These LDR don't work in the long term anyway.

You're best bet is to let it go with no contact for awhile. You seriously need to find someone near you to date.

Btw....21 is fairly "young and stupid"....you still have loads up growing up to do....you will be a different person in 5 years. Believe me!

[Ems]

Thanks for your honesty, really appreciate the reply!

I'm sure we both will be different people in 5 years,

I just wanted to add that he isn't the type of guy that gets into relationships fast he doesn't switch gf like he switches his underwear so to say, he has always been that way and i dont think he is interested in anyone else, if anything i think he maybe wanna ''fool around''

he is a very honest guy and my first thought was, is there someone else since he all of a sudden just went crazy like that but he is also i very independent guy and when you live with someone for while and then dont see the person for a while its like you loose a piece of you and you have to get back on track..

Not sure whats up but thanks for the input!

[smackie9]

Well that's it, he saw the reality or your situation, you had to go back home....it deviated him. Now it make him rethink your relationship. He doesn't want this LDR crap anymore, it's too difficult. I put money on it he is checking out the local girls, and weighing his options. He's 21, he can go to bars and clubs where there are lots of girls available to him. So on the other side of the coin he may not want a relationship at this time in his life, he can be single and have fun.

The problem here is you are thinking about you, your wants and needs, and not about him. This is hard on him too. IMO you have waited enough, you both need to talk about expectations. Ask him what he wants and expects, ask what would be the ideal situation for him, ask him why he has doubts, ask him does you living with him is not what he wants, etc...ask some hard questions, and put your wants and needs aside, because he already knows them. This isn't about you, it's about him. It's been a month and a half....it«,s time to make or break this. It's in your hands now to take action.

[michelle23]

Its over. Long distance relationships dont work long term. Sorry but its time to face reality

[Smila]

Its over....no need sugar coating the obvious...

[bekho]

I think that 3 years is a long time for any relationship. 3 years is usually the make or break time. I think that your boyfriend after 3 years maybe need some time off being a relationship to be a man again.

Sent from my SM-T320 using Tapatalk

[Boisdevie]

He's just desperate to shag on a regular basis - and you're about 3000 miles away. It's over.