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Thread: early in long distance relationship. is my situation salvageable?

  1. #1
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    Nov 2009
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    early in long distance relationship. is my situation salvageable?

    Hi guys. Yes i know long distance is tough and yes there is/was a date where we were suppose to meet and move to the same city.

    met a hot model girl lets call her brook while on vacation about 1 month ago. A common friend introduced us

    I did not ask for her number, she asked my friends where I went and my friend lied and told her I was upset because she was being cold to me so I left. Next morning she found me on Facebook and messaged me.

    Took her on 7 dates. Try to kiss and take her home but she wouldn't have it. She is 27 only slept with 3 guys and were all 2 years plus boy friends. No 1 night stand ever. We got really close fast. She said she told me things nobody else knows.

    Her younger sister (professional model) who has a huge crush on my best friend, tells him she likes me but is very insecure. Shes is worried that i am leaving.

    last day of my vacation I took her to my hotel to watch a movie and we made love. It was amazing with a lot of cuddling before and after. Next morning I left. She seems a little choked up

    back to the states 1st week was great. A lot of text back and fourth. A lot of I miss u and I wanna hug u right now from both sides.

    2nd week seems something is off..we are still texting frequent but she stopped texting me when she woke up only when she gets off work. The "I miss u" and "I want a hug" phrases have been a lot less from her.

    One day during the middle of third week I text her when I woke up like normal but she didn't reply to my text before she went to bed like normal. The next day I didn't text her cause I was still waiting for reply and she didn't text me. Now listening to a "player" friend of mine he said to not text her till she texts me. So I waited 1 more day. And nothing from her. Total 2 1/2 days no contact at all

    I felt like shit and texted my best friend and ask him what to do. He told me he talk to Brooks sister and she said she is confused as to why I stopped texting her and said she refuses to text me first.

    so I bit the bullet and texted her "good luck on your completion tomorrow" and she replied "thanks, going to sleep now because I have to wake up early have a nice day "

    so I thought we are back to normal and took a sigh of relief... but the next day I texted her "how did the competition go when do I get to see it?"......she again didn't text me when she got off work or before she went to bed.....

    At this point I am frustrated again. Talked to my best friend and he said I think she likes u a lot still dude. next day I texted her again with a picture of some shoes she wanted.

    She replied with the link of the competition video on YouTube and "cool shoes".

    I reply "u did really well in the video, I will buy u Your favorite pie as reward"

    she replied "really? Awee"

    i replied "of course. Would i lie to u?"

    then no reply again.....no good night texts....her text use to be like on average 3 to 4 sentences now it's 2 words per reply

    Something feels so wrong now. Like we took a huge step backwards. Am I doomed to be in friend zone now? Are my chances with her over. Is there no way to go back to the way we were?

    my friend keeps insisting she likes me still. I don't know how to proceed now. Do I keep texting her even though I feel like I'm getting a cold shoulder? Do I stop texting her all together and hope she will miss me enough to re establish contact?

    Please help don't know what to do next. Thanks for reading my rant.
    Last edited by wuballz; 06-05-14 at 05:06 PM.

  2. #2
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    When are you planning to move back? I think its doomed unless you have a date set to be together but I dont recommend uprooting your whole life just to be with someone-coz if it goes wrong you have nothing
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

  3. #3
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    she was suppose to visit me this winter. And she said she is definitely cool with moving to my city if she can find a job

  4. #4
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    Dude grow some frickin balls and ask her about her distant behavior. You should be talking to her not a bunch of strangers on the net. Your answers lie with her, not us.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    Dude grow some frickin balls and ask her about her distant behavior. You should be talking to her not a bunch of strangers on the net. Your answers lie with her, not us.

    Thanks for the advice. You're right, that is the obviously way to find out. I was thinking of doing that as a last resort.

    the reason i have't yet are:

    1) Im being optimistic. Maybe she was just really busy this last 2 days. and bring up the "what are we?" question might scare her away

    2) The texting and interaction seem to take a drastic turn for the worse after i followed some "online pick up forum" advice that told me i should wait for her to text me back first. Had i not stopped texting her for 2 1/2 days,... this might of not happened. Again, being optimistic, maybe this is some sort of punishment? because she got mad at me for not texting her and after she gets over her anger, things will go back to normal..... A guy can dream right?

    3) What i think most likely happened, but of course i could be wrong is: When i didn't text her for 2 1/2 days, she got pissed and was like Screw this guy im moving on. In which case she is probably happy at first that i finally text.. but then now she is a lot more guarded against me. she thinks i can leave at any moment so its better to leave me first (she is very insecure according to her sister and is probably thinking of me in the worst case senerio which is that she was wrong about me and im just another a-hole like her last 2 cheating boy friends.)

    4) My best friend keeps insisting she still likes me because of all the things her sister has told him. Im hoping to all holy hell he is right and if he is, maybe confronting her might make things worse.

    I guess im just trying to get a general consensus from other people as to what they think is going on before i ask the final question. its not for lack of ballz that i don't ask. im not afraid, i could do that right now, no problem. But its the fact that im trying to salvage this relationship and asking that question might make things worse or end the relationship all together. If her short text answers and infrequency of texting continues, than that is what i will do. But if other people have advice on how i might be able to repair this situation BEFORE i ask that question. i would really appreciated. Thanks

  6. #6
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    First of all, just ignoring a girl will get you in trouble....that and make you feel like shit. Your friend doesn't know women from his asshole. 2nd, I'm getting the feeling she's not all that into you.....but only you can find this out by communicating.
    Last edited by surfhb2; 07-05-14 at 10:19 AM.

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