Online girlfriend and Dominance problems

[ShySean]

So let's see how to start off. A few years ago I met this girl online and she was perfect I mean absolutely perfect. I loved everything about her but of course being shy meant I kept it quiet for nearly a year until I finally got the courage to tell her BUT she turned me down in favour of another online guy. So I got depressed and I was still this girl's friend so I often had to listen to her talk about her boyfriend. Then they broke up... for a week and rinsed and repeated this for months on end while I had to be her shoulder to cry on everytime. Eventually them two started doing like online sex and he got her really into the whole master/slave fetish. However, they broke up one last time when he got an irl girlfriend BUT (big but this time) they continued doing their online sex. I tried to convince her to stop but she wouldn't so many months went by, the occasional time he was mean to her and I had to cofort her. One day I found another girl I liked and we technically started dating for a week when suddenly my online girl tells me she loves me AFTER I told her about this new girl and AFTER the other guy stopped the online sex and stopped talking to her.
So I decided I still loved her and we got into an online relationship and for the first time in my life I felt truly happy for a while then me and her got a bit distant for a while but I blame myself due to college work so after a while things returned back to normal and we said I love you or I miss you all the time. After a while we decided to try the master slave stuff but she said I was no good at it because I didn't intimidate her yet I don't think a loving couple should need intimidation but I couldn't do it apparently. I tried my best but recently it's gotten me depressed that I'm a worse boyfriend tan her ex. She's alsi stopped saying I love you all the time and occasionally gets moody with me over how we won't be able to hold each other irl for like another year or more and even I a man am perfectly willing to wait because the love is still there or at least I thought it was.

Basically this devolved into numerous questions as I typed it:
Is she only with me because she was jealous?
Does she really love me?
How can I be a good dominant for her?
What the hell do I do? I have exams in a week yet this is what is keeping me up at night.

She has also openly expressed she was with her ex for his looks and that was it so she chose the guy that made her cry over me because he's hot.
If I think of anything else to add I will.

[somehelp4me]

What timing she loves you when you start dating another and her online **** buddy dumps her. Sounds like loneliness not love on her part don't buy it.
If you aren't into the dom/sub stuff she shouldn't force you to be and you still think she loves you? She only tells you she loves you when she gets what she wants off you.

On your questions:1. Yes and she is selfish and using you.
2.No
3.Don't. it isn't you.
4.Move on, better women out there for you.

[Boisdevie]

Online sex? Is that like wacking off over your keyboard? I'm just curious because I live in what we grown ups call the 'real world' and am curious about this online bullshittery.

[michelle23]

How long have you wasted on this girl?? Why are you trying to change who you are for her?? Have you ever heard of co-dependancy? Research it and stop being a doormat.

Dump her and work on your self esteem. Figure out who you are and what you want. Then go and find it

[searock]

I often had to listen to her talk about her boyfriend.

I had to be her shoulder to cry on everytime.

I had to cofort her.

See the pattern? You didn't have to do anything. You chose to do those things, no matter the fact that they always made you miserable. You are the cause of your own pain.

a loving couple

An "online couple" isn't a "loving couple". It's not even a real couple.

I'm a worse boyfriend tan her ex.

Neither of you were ever her boyfriend.

the love is still there or at least I thought it was.

There never was love.

Is she only with me because she was jealous?

And because she has psychological issues.

Does she really love me?

Nope.

How can I be a good dominant for her?

I don't even know what this means. Online sex? What is that?

What the hell do I do? I have exams in a week yet this is what is keeping me up at night.

Cut off all contact with this woman and focus on your real life.

[Butchie]

Yes, I see this going nowhere, and I now realize all these comments may seem harsh but they are right...

[HeartIsAching]

Often the advice here seems harsh... but what it is, is honest and blunt.

[Rowen]

Often the advice here seems harsh... but what it is, is honest and blunt.

It's the heat of the kitchen... :S

[smackie9]

Good god dude you have no self esteem or any self worth. You are one big sucker to give up a real GF for some flaky online manipulative skanky attention whore. Don't think for a min she isn't doing this with multiple guys.....talk about sloppy seconds.


Give your head a shake, you can do better than this.

- - - Updated - - -

Then again, guys usually have to pay for this shit........

[basilandthyme]

Bois, I will second your comment of "online bullshittery"