ex contacts me after 2 years of NC. What does he want???

[elliX]

My ex bf of 3 years and I broke up 2 years ago and had no contact since the breakup. We ended up in bad terms, he broke my heart but I am still not over him. He texts me now out of the blue that he misses me, he needed too much courage to text me but he felt that he had no choice but contact me. I answered What´s going on. He replied back that nothing is going on and repeated that he misses me and wants to hear about me. And that he really needs to talk again with me. I insisted that I wanted a sincere and clear answer about what was he willing to talk about with me. He said that it is hard to forget me, I am a person that he cannot delete from his life. That some things may have changed but he cannot stop being interested for me no matter how much time has passed. He has no specific topic for discussion, he just needs to talk to me because he misses me.

I am sooooo confused!!!! Is he trying to get back with me or something? is it a totally friendly approach? Or is he just playing mind games? I don´t understand! Any help would be much appreciated.

[Wakeup]

First tell him to fvck off and then block and delete him so that he can't send you bullsht mind game texts like the one he just sent you. You ended in bad terms. He broke your heart ~ why would you even consider talking to someone that did that to you?

If you're not over him after two years then you've not been doing the mental work YOU need to do to cleanse him from your head and heart. I suspect you've been comparing other men to him and have been entertaining your daydreaming thoughts about him and what little good he did bring your way while forgetting all the bad. Stop thinking about him by changing the subject of him when he pops into your mind and for goodness sakes ignore his text completely or, if you must tell him something, tell him to leave you the fk alone and then block and delete him.

[chinagirl]

Why did you two break up and how did he break your heart?

[elliX]

Why did you two break up and how did he break your heart?

To make a long story short, I initially asked for some time to make a really important decision for my life (to move to his city, while I had a job offer in another city). When I decided to decline the job and called him after a month to announce it, he told me he already got into a relationship with another girl. I couldnt say anything, I was devastated. When we hung up the phone, I texted him my decision. He never replied back, while I had changed my whole life for him and he knew I was waiting for his reply, even if it was something like "dont count on me to your future plans"

[chinagirl]

In that sense, get your closure... Allow him to explain himself of what happened two years ago and if he tries to get you back, respectfully decline his proposal and let him know two years has been a long time and you've since moved on.

I wouldn't go back to him if I were you. It seems to me that he is a weak guy and with any signs of threat or difficulty in your relationship, he will drop you like a hot potato.

[elliX]

In that sense, get your closure... Allow him to explain himself of what happened two years ago and if he tries to get you back, respectfully decline his proposal and let him know two years has been a long time and you've since moved on.

I wouldn't go back to him if I were you. It seems to me that he is a weak guy and with any signs of threat or difficulty in your relationship, he will drop you like a hot potato.

I have insisted repeatedly about the purpose of his contact. He seems unwilling to reveal anything about his thoughts, if he has any. He repeats only "I need to talk with you, just talk".

[pcmaster]

He had his chance 2 years ago. Either he thinks you are sucker and will go back or hes a sucker and realy still have feelings for you.

[elliX]

First tell him to fvck off and then block and delete him so that he can't send you bullsht mind game texts like the one he just sent you. You ended in bad terms. He broke your heart ~ why would you even consider talking to someone that did that to you?

If you're not over him after two years then you've not been doing the mental work YOU need to do to cleanse him from your head and heart. I suspect you've been comparing other men to him and have been entertaining your daydreaming thoughts about him and what little good he did bring your way while forgetting all the bad. Stop thinking about him by changing the subject of him when he pops into your mind and for goodness sakes ignore his text completely or, if you must tell him something, tell him to leave you the fk alone and then block and delete him.

Quite harsh answer but thank you!

[Wakeup]

Quite harsh answer but thank you!

Just harsh to try and knock the sentimental out of you and let the reality in. I was harsh about the subject but not about you or at you.

So: What are you going to do?

[elliX]

Just harsh to try and knock the sentimental out of you and let the reality in. I was harsh about the subject but not about you or at you.

So: What are you going to do?

I have not decided yet. I only know that I need to clarify his intentions. If he wants to apologise, which seems unlikely, I dont want to hinder him by blocking every contact. I think I deserve some closure.

[Wakeup]

You got closure when he told you he found another girl. That is enough closure for any person to never want to talk to that person again. He cheated on you to be with another woman by the sounds of it, he may even still be with her so don't expect closure from him (or anyone else) be strong enough to close this yourself by not even giving him the time of day. Surely you'd not go back to him. Tell us it isn't so.

[elliX]

You got closure when he told you he found another girl. That is enough closure for any person to never want to talk to that person again. He cheated on you to be with another woman by the sounds of it, he may even still be with her so don't expect closure from him (or anyone else) be strong enough to close this yourself by not even giving him the time of day. Surely you'd not go back to him. Tell us it isn't so.

He did not cheat on me, we were on a break. By explaining this, I dont´t give him right. What I am trying to say, I guess, is that this was not a closure for me. I never learned why he never gave me any feedback when I told him that I had already changed my life in order to fix ours. Believe me, I lost several months waiting for his feedback. And he definitely knew that I was waiting for it.

[Wakeup]

On a break. Did you talk about seeing others while on this break or was it just assumed that you both would?

I'm not recommending you call him but if you think that will give you closure then who am I to tell you not to?

What closure do you think he'll give you? What would he have to tell you that would let you move on from the ghost of him? This is an important question you should probably know the answer to before you contact him (if you're going to) because no matter what he says, you're going to need yet another question answered so know what you need to hear to have your closure so you can specifically ask him.

Closure comes from within when you accept its over and you're better off because of it. Not from what anyone can tell you... but you'll learn that soon enough, I guess.