Is it really possible to be in love yet still be attracted to another

[bekho]

He's only 25. Best years of his life are now... Its indeed a tough decision. Throw caution to the wind and go for broke. Or...just settle.

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[bekho]

I think to give informed advice we gotta see a picture of this girl.

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[nico88]

Yes. And I have actually thought of that but let's say I did take her out and not to sound like a sap but she ends up being the love of my life.

I guess what I'm having trouble with is just maybe I'm worried I'm settling with my current relationship with my girlfriend because we get along well and because we've been together for as long as we have. I honestly do have it good with her. Maybe that's all I have with her. A good relationship. Is it selfish of me to want more than just a "good relationship"? What if I want a great one? I don't know. Maybe my expectations on love and what I think a relationship should be like are too high..

[pcmaster]

If its not broken no need to fix it. Seriously it might need fixing after you try to fix it.

[michelle23]

Its your choice but you cant change your mind and run back if it doesnt work out. Thats selfish, cruel and unfair so when you make your choice-be sure its the right one.

I think you should do some research tho "thinking the grass is greener", "the 9 stages of love" "signs of a healthy relationship". And research other peoples stories who have left one for another.. most regret it

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And its true you will prob feel the same way in every relationship once the honeymoon period fades.. sometimes you gotta stop looking for more and be happy with what you have

[searock]

It's perfectly normal and very common for people to develop crushes for somebody when they are in a long-term relationship with somebody else, even if it's the best relationship ever. You just have to recognize it as a temporary crush/infatuation/lusting, something meaningless that will not last. Don't throw away your relationship just to sleep with a woman you don't even know.

[nico88]

I wouldn't break up with my girlfriend just to get with this new girl. I mean yeah I'd still be interested for sure but I'd take things slow. Make sure she really is as good for me as I currently feel.

But I don't know.. I think what happened was the fact I found myself so into this other person that it really made me question if there's something I'm lacking in my current relationship. But I guess you can't have it all right?

Do you think it would be insanely ****ing stupid if I was honest with my girlfriend and told her what I've been feeling? Or would that just be opening an unnecessary can of worms?

I just don't want my relationship with my girlfriend to become one sided. I don't want her feelings to continue to grow for me and mine to just kinda stop where it's at. That's not fair to her. I'm probably thinking way to much into this..so if I am please just tell me to shut the **** up.

[searock]

I don't think you should tell your girlfriend about your crush on the other girl. Really - it's just a crush. As soon as you realize that there is nothing missing in your relationship and it's simply your hormones talking, you will be able to stop crushing so hard. The next times it happens (with another girl - it will happen) you will be ready and you won't even entertain these doubts.

[michelle23]

Most people around the 2year mark start having doubts. Its coz the infatuation is gone and they think something is wrong when really your just starting a new phase of the relationship-getting to know each other on a deeper level, bonding more as you see the good and bad in each other and learn to accept it.

You know nothing about this girl aside from the fact shes attractive and a 5minute conversation. It would be ridiculously stupid to throw away a good relationship just for a pretty face. What will you do then the next time this happens-just keep jumping from one relationship to the next until your 40?

No dont say anything to your gf. That will destroy your relationship.

Honestly it sounds like you have already made up your mind. I just hope you dont regret it. Sometimes though you have to learn these lessons the hard way

I will never understand though how someone can become so obsessed with a stranger.. its never happened to me lol. Some of you people wear your heart on your sleeve and have your heads in the clouds. Im glad I live in the real world

[Valixy]

Maybe the other girl just flirted with you, but isn't crazy about you as you are about her. Maybe she wouldn't feel comfortable going out with someone who just finished a good long term relationship, or she has other things going on in her life that you don't know anything about, or you might not even be so great together.Things are never as easy and extraordinary as we expect them to be driven by desire.

You might even end up with none of these girls - it wouldn't be the first time, that's for sure. There are lots of things you need to take into account, because there will be surprises and all your world will be turned upside down. You won't exactly feel on top of the world but meet quite a few bumps on the way, not to mention that there will be no turning back to such an inportant part of your life, which is your current relationship and everything else this involves in your life.

[nico88]

I will admit, I am somewhat of a hopeless romantic but I try to be sensible. And I'm trying to be sensible about this, I swear. My head is just getting in the way I guess.

And you guys are right I shouldn't fix what's not broke. Maybe we are just not in that infatuation stage anymore and I need to get creative with my girl and see if that helps any?

[michelle23]

Ask yourself what is better about her than your gf. They both have strong morals, both the type youd bring home to ma, both are passionate about something.. so far they are equal.. except you are already in love with one and know very little about the other.. what if shes a party girl who gets drunk every weekend and has had 10 one night stands, what if her ex cheated on her and shes incredibly insecure, untrusting and jealous, what if she hates sex and only wants to sleep with you 6 times a year? What if she loves drama and picks a fight with you every day, what uf she doesnt understand your work schedule and is pissed you dont have much time for her..

like I said you know nothing about her or what you could be getting into. All you know is shes good looking and backed off when she found out you have a gf..

of course she could be none of those bad things but thats the risk you take when you drop everything for a stranger

[nico88]

Well shit. How did you get so damn smart? Ha.

You seriously brought up a lot of stuff I wasn't really thinking about. Like the work thing..a few of my relationships in the past have ended because of that reason alone. Though my girlfriend isn't crazy about how much time I currently have available to give to her, she's adjusted to it. We still argue about it but it's not as big of an issue as it was when we were first dating.

And then the hating sex thing definitely hit home too. I mean I can love a girl for her mind and heart but I kinda need her body too. Sex only 6 times a year would probably kill me.

[smackie9]

Maybe this is a realization that you are not getting fulfillment from your present relationship, and this is why you find yourself sitting on the fence. Even if this other girl doesn't turn out to be the one, you possibly still need to be looking.

[michelle23]

I think if you were really happy with your gf or within yourself, the decision would be easy. I cant imagine contemplating dumping my bf after a 5minute conversation with a flirty stranger. Ive been chatted up 1000 times and never even been tempted to leave him.

Is it possible you could be insecure, craving attention or an ego boost?? If yes, then your the problem-not your relationship