Should I leave a 7 year relationship for someone I have way more in common with

[solsupreme]

I know some of you will judge me for my actions but I still post this for those of you who can lend me your wisdom. (I already know I'm an asshole for this, you don't have to remind me)

I was wondering if someone on this forum could give me some advise on something that has been bothering me a lot. I have been in a relationship with a woman for 7 years, we have a good friendship. I love and care for her deeply but I feel like I cannot grow with her. Things are not in the dumps but they have remained stagnant in my opinion. I have met a woman who I have great chemistry with, I have so much more in common with her and we connect on a very profound level. Intellectually, Spiritually, you name it. Its like we have known each other all our life. Every conversation and interaction I have with her I walk away with something profound,deep, or beneficial to my evolution as a person, and the same goes for her. It's like we are Twin Flames. And did mention I am attracted to her as well. Her way of thinking and way of living life is far more aligned with who I am. I am torn between leaving this long relationship for the woman who I have more in common with, or spending more time to work on my relationship. Like I said, my relationship is not bad, it's good, but not great. The relationship isn't going downhill, it's just not ascending, it has somewhat reached it's peek. I feel guilty about leaving my 7 year relationship to start a new one with the woman who I am more in tune with. I feel like this is a selfish act to leave someone who I have been with for such a long time for someone that I may have more personal growth with. It defies the notion of commitment and loyalty. I am deeply troubled by the possibility of hurting her feelings and finishing such a long relationship.

[smackie9]

Relationships end for many different reasons. Yours is not uncommon. Why deny yourself from being with someone that touches your soul, that completes you in every way. Just because you have invested years in a relationship doesn't obligate you to stick with it. You only live once, if this feels right then go for it.

[smiling100]

Been there done that. I was virtually in the same position as yourself.

From my experience I thought I met my soulmate ( don't believe in that saying anymore btw ). Ended my relationship & overlapped into this new relationship with no time to heal.

To give you the short version it ended up in a big emotion mess for everyone involved.

Never again.


Good luck.

[michelle23]

People who leave a long term relationship and jump straight into a new one have issues. Do you have a fear of being alone? Why do you think you cant leave unless you have someone else to run to? Why not take some time out to be alone first instead of making rash, impulsive decisions based on mere infatuation?

Were you unhappy with your partner before starting your emotional affair and thinking of leaving or is this just you thinking the grass is greener based on some butterflies?

Look up the 9 stages of love. Youve likely gone through them all with your partner and now you are about to trade her in (probably the love of your life) for a what if.

I think you will regret it and want to run back to your gf in about 2 months but you cant do that so when you make your decision-make sure you are willing to face the consequences. There is no going back. She deserves better than being a backup a plan and I just hope she knows that