Boyfriend still want to move in together?

[monsters]

Hello,

I’m in a loving relationship built among two very busy people. We’re moving in together at the end of this month, and in the last month my boyfriend’s dedication to spending time together has dramatically plummeted. Part of me thinks maybe he’s just basking in the last days of the life he’s living right now before we create our new life, where we're going to be spending more time together, another thinks he could possibly be scared and is afraid to talk to me about it. He’s still verbally affectionate, he’s still really great when we spend time together, but we really don’t spend anywhere near the time we used to. He used to come see me on my lunch break for 15 minutes because he couldn’t handle going an entire day without seeing me and joked about going into “withdrawals,” I can’t even remember the last time that happened.

It’s been a really long time since I’ve been in a serious relationship so I keep having to assess my expectations. My partner is understanding, we have so much fun together, we have similar moral structure, and mutual attraction so by every means it would appear from the outside like we’re madly in love, but I really like I don’t have a boyfriend anymore, which makes it feel more like I’m getting a roommate at the end of the month than that the person I love is going to be sharing living space with me. I realize some decline in attention is going to happen in all relationships, but is he still on board?

If I talk to him, of course he’s going to say all positive things. I can see his response being “I tell you I love you all of the time!” I’m a pretty cool girl, I don’t really give many reasons for complaint or distance. I should also mention a 13 year age difference (He’s recently 40, I’m an old 26). That’s not noticeable or an issue at all, but I’m sure at 40 he might not share the same 26 year old excitement I have about things and that’s something I need to just learn about him.

I find myself going through the checklists, and everything is good on paper, but I feel like something huge is missing here.

Opinion?

[basilandthyme]

If I talk to him, of course he’s going to say all positive things.

And there in lies the problem: you don't trust him to be honest. If you did trust him, you'd know without doubt that if he had an issue, he's share it with you.

Do not move forward with someone who you can't trust to be honest with you.

[smackie9]

Move in and test the waters, if you don't like it end the relationship. It's not like you are getting married, you are just going to be living together. You really don't learn about somone until you live with them full time. Figure it out then.

[Wakeup]

I'm not understanding what your problem is. From what you've said it's that you dont' see him enough. So instead of asking your bf what is wrong and not believing him when he tells you nothing, why(snipped) don't you just say "I'm not seeing enough of you lately, lets do dinner with a nice bottle of wine and our favourite music. Can we do that tonight or if not when."

[surfhb]

DONT MOVE IN TOGETHER UNLESS YOU PLAN ON MARRIAGE! Period!

[searock]

surfhb, not everybody wants to get married, this doesn't mean that they don't want to spend their lives together.

[chinagirl]

I don't understand why you can't just plainly ask him why he's not seeing you enough as he used to. Just verbally put it out there.

If you are going to live with this this guy, you will need to learn to communicate better with him instead of asking random people what they think is on his mind or the meaning of his actions.

[surfhb]

surfhb, not everybody wants to get married, this doesn't mean that they don't want to spend their lives together.

Super rare but Fair enough....I think you know what I mean

I have a feeling they haven't been together that long?