When Should A Couple Have Sex First?????????

[snckrs]

I believe this Thread has been needed for quite some time. Alot of the questions people ask often involve sex. Most of the time the couple has sex to early in their relationship or brings sex into their friendships, and things get awkward. Feelings get confused, people distance themselves, people get clingly, and normally the relationship ends.

This brings me to my question. When should a couple have sex for the first time? First date to soon? Third date to late? Wate till marriage? Should women insist on waiting 90 days before giving out the cookie as Steve Harvey suggests. How long should a couple wait and why do you think that?

SNCKRS!

[basilandthyme]

Hubby and I spent almost all night fvcking on the night of the day we met. I was getting ready to do the 'walk of shame' the next morning...when he woke, kissed me good morning and we started again. That was in 1992 and we're still very happy together.

I think there is no "should" about it. Each person should do whatever works for them.

[Boisdevie]

The rule is that there is no rule. I've shagged on the first date, I've shagged on the 3rd or 4th date. Whatever works. I personally prefer to shag asap but I"m a randy old pervert.

[Valixy]

I think it's nice to recognize the attraction and let the feelings build up too and feel in love :-) None of my ex-boyfriends would have had any problems becoming intimate on the first dates but none has ever rushed me and they liked the thought of waiting until we fell in love and it was worth it :-)

[fumble]

I personally was raised pretty damn oldfashioned so my answer will probably be different from most on here. I have previously been in a relationship where it took 10 months for us to sleep together and even then it seemed too soon. Other relationships i have had only a few months and that was definately too soon for me. And thats just a personal thing for me have slept with 2 people in my life and take it very seriously (and tbh if i could take back both of those i probably would and i want the least regrets i can). I want to love the person so much, i want to think they are going to be my happily ever after. I used to belive in the fairytale, now im a cynic who will die alone.

[snckrs]

I would have to say Im Old Fashioned with new age old fashioned. I would advise couples to wait till marrige. But that seems like asking for a miricale now. So I would say to wait 90 days. I jumped into the physical relation with my ex way to soon.

[basilandthyme]

the term "Old Fashioned" makes me laugh when it comes to sex and relationships. One of my grandmothers had a shotgun wedding in the 1920's.....and I got to read my other grandmother's 1938 diary from before she married my grandfather

[smackie9]

Ya people f ucked on first dates since the beginning of time, and hardly anyone ever waited til marriage. The majority married because they were pregnant lol.

I agree there are no rules. It all depends on the individual.

I think I may have waited a couple of weeks with my husband but it was because of opportunity (we both were living at home at the time), we have been together for over 24 years now.

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btw I have never waited 3 month before having sex...ppffft no f uckin way would I wait that long. In fact it would be a deal breaker.....I'd tell him bbbubbbye!

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I jumped into the physical relation with my ex way to soon.

Sorry to break the news to ya, having sex too soon wasn't why your relationship failed. And that goes for you too fumble.

[fumble]

I never claimed that it was the cause of the end of the relationship, neither did snkre. It made no difference to the dynamic of the relationship just i and my partner both agree that it would have been nicer if we had waited longer because of the people we are. Like you said it depends on the individual

[smackie9]

I never claimed that it was the cause of the end of the relationship, neither did snkre. It made no difference to the dynamic of the relationship just i and my partner both agree that it would have been nicer if we had waited longer because of the people we are. Like you said it depends on the individual

Well why make such a statement ("and tbh if i could take back both of those i probably would and i want the least regrets i can".) if it wasn't an issue?

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btw withholding sex before marriage will not guarantee you commitment or happily ever after, nor does it prevent infidelity. So what is there to gain?

[chinagirl]

I agree with ^^^. Before you buy a car, you need to take it for a test drive!!! If not, how would you know it's the right car for you ;-)

[fumble]

Having sex wasnt what caused the end of the relationship but i am a believer of the sanctity of sex and therefore regret that i have slept with these men who are no longer a part of my life, i was raised in a one life one man way and i wanted to stick with it. I slept with these men for the wrong reasons and thats why i regret it. (And because of personal abuse i feel differently about sex than most people) Im sure that witholding sex isnt a way of gaining anything in the relationship just with the history i have had and the upbringing combined, sleeping with someone is very complicated. What is to gain is that is feeling comfortable in a relationship, some people want to have sex straight away and thats fine for them, while others dont. Not sleeping with someone is no game to try and get a happy ending but sleeping with someone because its the 'done thing' thesedays definately wont put me in a situation where i feel comfortable.

Also i didnt test drive my car before i brought it

[chinagirl]

Also i didnt test drive my car before i brought it

I hope you didn't get a lemon :-(

[fumble]

I hope you didn't get a lemon :-(

Nah its a lovely car, considering i brought it on friday 13th without having even looked at it for once luck was on my side

[chinagirl]

Nah its a lovely car, considering i brought it on friday 13th without having even looked at it for once luck was on my side

Good for you!