First Love

[Skeet21]

I seem to be having a problem getting over my first love and it was ten years ago. Ten goddamn years ago! We dated in high school and after breaking up we never had much contact at all. Every now and then I'll still have a dream about her, and I had one last night that totally broke my heart. I currently have a gf that I love but I feel like I'm settling a bit (I know that doesn't help). But I guess where I'm going with this is that I don't feel like I'll ever be able to love anybody the way I loved my first love. It's not a good sign that I'm still having dreams about her, and I don't think I'm even physically able to feel the same way I did ten years ago. Does anybody have any advice on how to help move on?

[smackie9]

See a therapist. Our advice would be if it was a few months ago.....10 years is a little extreme.

[Cerby]

Agreed with Smackie. Everyone remembers their first love, but you do move on. It might be a sign that your current relationship isn't where you want it to be, and are comparing it to that.

[Stay 2gether]

[QUOTE=Skeet21;984585]I seem to be having a problem getting over my first love and it was ten years ago. Ten goddamn years ago! We dated in high school and after breaking up we never had much contact at all. Every now and then I'll still have a dream about her, and I had one last night that totally broke my heart. I currently have a gf that I love but I feel like I'm settling a bit (I know that doesn't help). But I guess where I'm going with this is that I don't feel like I'll ever be able to love anybody the way I loved my first love. It's not a good sign that I'm still having dreams about her, and I don't think I'm even physically able to feel the same way I did ten years ago. Does anybody have any advice on how to help move on?[/QUOTE

Hey it seams to me that maybe you are trying to compare the two ladies which is probably the reason why you just keep thinking about her or maybe you feel that its something your missing from your lady that your ex use to give you either way something must be missing in the relatioship maybe yall need to get out more or maybe your looking for something to be wrong or maybe you just need to sit down and talk to someone about it but either way try to make your current relationship more interesting and try to focus on whats missing between you 2 and everything should be fine.

[smackie9]

Is there an echo in here?

[Rowen]

Before you see a therapist, I'm curious...how much time did you take to get over that love? And by "time" please know that I mean time being single...if you jumped into another relationship, you didn't take any time at all...

[Stay 2gether]

Yea smackie9 i think we are all on the same page here i sure can here my ears ringing from the echos

[pcmaster]

I kinda see where you coming from. But loving past is like hating present. You are right, you are diferent person now and your body and hormones wont be as they were back then so theres no way you can feel exactly the same. If you remember Titanic - did Rose ever get over her first love? I dont think so. Love is like drugs and like with all drugs first time is most effective because its something new to the body. Like losing virginity is great feeling and happens only once in a life, ofcourse other times feels great too but they not exactly memorable as the first time.

Guess thats just something you have to live with.

[Rowen]

My whole problem with it is this: If he didn't take the time to confront the feelings and work through it, he might be able to just confront it on his own without a therapist. But...the OP isn't around to give more information. :S

[smackie9]

I guess I'm one to talk...I still feel a tingle when I watch old episodes of Starsky and Hutch lol

[fearoflove]

The girl you are with doesn't match up to the level of your "first love"? So, you are feeling you are settling. Grow up! Just because you dated that hot girl from the past doesn't mean you can keep someone from that level. Treasure the relationship/love you have with your current girlfriend because if you start taking her for granted, even she might not want you.