Newlywed and no sex :(

[BenniRed]

I’ve married the man of my dreams (after we each had been alone for 15 years – he is 60, I am 63) and all is good except we don’t have sex!

Last year (we met online, then in person last April), we had a week of marvelous sex. On my second visit, we made love 3 times in 2 weeks. Subsequent visits were about the same.

When I moved here (Newfoundland) to marry him, we had sex 2 nights after my arrival – though he wasn’t able to finish. 2 weeks later, on our wedding night, we tried again and he couldn’t get it up. And…. He hasn’t been able to since then. It’s been 5 weeks.

He has gone to the doctor who prescribed Cialis – that didn’t work at all. Then he tried Viagra, same results – nothing!

He is very affectionate and loving. Spoils me rotten. But, after so many failed attempts, he won’t even try anymore. He’s depressed and frustrated, too.

For 15 years, I took care of my own needs with toys. Here I am, a married woman, and I STILL have to use the toys. Soooo frustrating for me!

I’m not sure if I’m asking for advice here, or just venting. I think nothing will change and I must accept all the other glorious aspects of our marriage, and just let go of this issue before it drives me insane.

[somehelp4me]

Could it be psychological and not physical? since the meds aren't changing anything and still no results.

[chinagirl]

Prolong your foreplay.

[woody]

Dear Benni Red,

You are not alone and this is a common issue that increases each year in men of all ages. (btw, congrats on the marriage) good on you both.

Do not take it personally, this latest sex drive lapse. Again, more common than you think.
Of course, it is difficult to not feel rejected or wonder if something else is going on but the key is patience and to enjoy your partner for all their other wonderful traits, to continue the loving without pressure or guilt.

I would suggest (as long as he has no hypertension issues) some Ginseng. Research which type would best suit your man and start it up. 1000's of years this has been used to increase libido and well, the stuff works.
Toys work as long as your comfortable using them around him. You could also try stimulating one of his lower chakra's by applying gentle massage between his scrotum and anus. Again, research it. Could be his channels are misaligned and what a lucky man he is to have you there to help re align these things. Also suggest a book called, "the Siesta and the midnight Sun"

good luck and may you have a happy and most fulfilling sex life!!!

[dem862]

If he tells the doctor who prescribed the Cialis and Viagra, they could try Levitra. If that doesn't work, the next step is the injection which is almost always effective. There is also a suppository that goes into the tip of the penis. He has not exhausted all possible solutions by a long shot.

[somehelp4me]

Why do people write these personal things to strangers and ask for advice and then never return when advice is given?

[michelle23]

He could try argi+. Its a natural vitamin available from foreverlivimg. You could look it up online. It provides wonderful health benefits to the heart and circulatory system as well as increasing blood flow. A lot of older men noticed an increase jn their sex drive with it.

[Valixy]

It seems that you have built some very romantic expectations about this marriage, especially because you have been alone for 15 years, but you can't go against nature or make him feel guilty for having a certain age. I know it's not your intention but you should take a man's age and its limitations in consideration and try to adjust your expectations. I suppose this is quite normal at that time in a man's life and you should indeed change your perspective on things and enjoy all the other aspects of your life together. I doubt there are many men and women in that age frame that could have a sexual life like the one you dream about, but not many can enjoy the romance and the connection that you two have.

[basilandthyme]

There's also an option of a penis pump.

[IndiReloaded]

Get him checked out by a medico. Not for the ED, but for an impending heart/vascular problem. Go for a full physical, including stress test.
Lack of erection (or inability to sustain) is an early sign of vascular problem b/c the vessels in the penis are so relatively small. New ED is often the canary in the coal mine. Especially at his age.