Is it worth it?

[Iva32]

Hi everyone! I'm new here. I have a relationship problem, and I would appreciate your help. About a month ago I started seeing a guy. I'm 27 years old, he is 33. He was in a realtionship for more than 10 years (they lived together for about 2 years). But, it ended two years ago. They were really close friends, they also have a lot common friends. They used to go everywhere together, with their friends (his best friend dated her best friend, etc). Their breakup was normal and they remained friends. He still keeps their photos on facebook (as if they were still together).
Anyway, we have been seeing each other for about a month. But our dates are always in his apartment. When he wants to go out, he goes with his friends. He never mentioned introducing me to his friends, nor going out with me. Nobody really knows that we are together. Few days ago I mentioned that I will not go on like this, that I feel cheap meeting him just at night, in his apartment. He told me that I'm imagining stuff, he never looked at me like that, and yes we will go out together, and all that. But there is still not a single word about us being together as a couple. He is out again, with his friends. We will see each other tomorrow (in his apartment).
What do you think about this situation? Is he still in love with his ex-girlfriend? What should I do? Is it too early to expect a normal relationship (going out together as a couple, meeting his friends, etc)? Or should I just give up and leave him (and if that is the case, what should I tell him)? I don't want to find myself in a situation where he goes back to his ex after a while, and I'm left brokenhearted. Other than that, he is a nice guy, I really like him. I would love to try something with him, but I'm not sure if that is possible. This all situation really upsets me and I hope for your response!
Thanks!

[nico88]

I'm a lil confused..do you mean he never takes you out at all? Or just that he doesn't take you out with his friends?

[Valixy]

In the first month, many new couples have one to one dates mainly, but not always at the apartment. Since you've expressed now your wish to do more, you should see a change from him. You could also have more initiative and plan different dates.

Hopefully he'll respond positively. If he doesn't, don't bother anymore. All these guys who keep an ex as a good friend and imagine this should be just fine for a new relationship, aren't good boyfriend material in general.

[lalalita]

Are you two exclusive? (IE: Had the talk and agree you are boyfriend and girlfriend and what that means)

[Maple1714]

Do you have sex with him? I think one on one for the first month is fine, but by that I mean one on one dates out in public etc...not just his apt. at night. If you are just going over there at night...talking for a little while and then having sex that's not good. He is using you. Can't you invite him out somewhere on a date? Dinner or a walk or something? You should be meeting his friends after about a month I think.

I wouldn't contact him anymore, until he calls you up and asks you out on a real date.

[Iva32]

Hi everyone!
He never takes me out at all...On a date somewhere, a dinner or a walk. That's what I was talking about. I don't think that is normal. And yes, we do have sex. We meet in his apartment, watch a movie or something and have sex. That part really makes me feel cheap. Do you think it is ok for me to see their half naked pictures all over facebook, kissing as if they were still together? And I'm sorry for my English, it is not my native language Thanks for your help!!!

[Starnique]

No its not ok if he is trying to date you to have those pics up which probably means he still have feelings for the ex. People, especially men dont usually flaunt pics of them with chics unless they're really feeling the girl, love them or something.

He hasnt taken you on a date and all u do is have late night house visits? He's using you for sex. If that's ok with you then carry on. Obviously it's not cause you're getting advice. So next time he contacts you either ignore him or tell him that unless he can step his game up and give you what you're looking for then you won't be seeing him again. His response followed by action will let you know if he really likes you.

[Valixy]

No-one says that he should throw away/delete the pictures with his ex but he should keep them somewhere private. People who start a new relationship owe this to the new partner in my opinión. It's common sense and they shouldn't even be told something like this. He sounds careless and interested in sex dates only. If you don't start seeing a change really quick, I don't think you should invest your time and feelings in this guy anymore. Let him dwell on his past and look for secret dates somewhere else. You deserve more.

[nico88]

Alright so heres what I'm thinking.. this guy is clearly an ass and isn't being upfront to you about what he wants..which is just to bang. Lose him and go find you someone who is gunna take you out and treat you like a queen. All this guy is doing is wasting your time..

[Maple1714]

Hi everyone!
He never takes me out at all...On a date somewhere, a dinner or a walk. That's what I was talking about. I don't think that is normal. And yes, we do have sex. We meet in his apartment, watch a movie or something and have sex. That part really makes me feel cheap. Do you think it is ok for me to see their half naked pictures all over facebook, kissing as if they were still together? And I'm sorry for my English, it is not my native language Thanks for your help!!!

That's what I thought was going on. Put an end to it now. The sooner the better. You don't even need to explain how you feel again...he knows what he's doing. Don't feel cheap, just move on and don't get into this type of booty call situation again.

Next time you want to start dating someone, get to know them for a while first before you have sex. 3-4 months is a good time frame to wait I think. That's just me...and I know there are exceptions to the "rule" of waiting. However, the longer you take getting to know a man and form an emotional connection, the chances are greater he will stick around and want a long term relationship. Men attach to women through emotional bonding...not sex.

[chinagirl]

I've never had any relationship where all our dates took place in an apartment. As a matter of fact, I've never had a date that took place in an apartment. If that ever happened during the first few dates, I would have run as far away as possible. And I don't get the fact that you never met his friends either.

A guy will only treat like crap if you allow him.

You've only been going out for a month. Unless he will change, take you out and treat you like a decent lady, dump him and move on girl.

[Iva32]

Thanks everyone! I was thinking the same thing...I just wanted to hear some other opinions. I do overreact sometimes :/ and I was afraid that perhaps it was too soon to expect something more from him. But he still didn't say a word about us being a normal couple. I'm getting tired of this situation - he obviously did not forget his ex-girlfriend. I really don't want to explain some basic stuff to a 33 years old man.
Thank you all for your help! I really appreciate it!