Are all attractive women over 30 materialistic?

[octavius]

Went through a breakup recently, though it was the type that was nearly mutual -- she initiated it -- but I'm pretty sure I could win her back if I was willing to respond to all of her coy questions having to do with my net worth -- I tend to dislike such questions and so I think she began to lose interest when I refused to play her game. In fact, about a month ago, I was strongly considering ending it because I felt like she was interested in my bank account, more than she was in me.

I live in a city with a lot of wealthy people, and a lot of "quick" millionaires due to all of the tech and fortune 500 companies here (Seattle). I've noticed that many of the women I've met, and dated, over the years, have been fairly curious, but as subtly as they can be, to discover what wealth bucket I'm in... and I really hate being evaluated this way. This might be horrible of me to suggest, but I sense that many women in this city feel like they are entitled to find a rich guy.

I've read all of the old trite wisdom about this... women are judged by their physical beauty, and men are judged by the their earning power... but is this really true? ...or is this mainly just true amongst the more shallow members of the human race?

I'm comfortable, I can afford to travel, I own my own house, etc, but I'm not in the top 1%, and I'm not really interested in playing the rat race it would take to get there. I'm probably in the top 10-20%, and that is all I need... I'm fine with it.

I first noticed this when I was complaining about the weather here (Seattle only has 75 nice days a year), and I expressed a desire to someday live in Hawaii. She glommed on to this and wouldn't stop talking about it, and suggested getting a big place on Maui with extra quarters for a caretaker... she said a coworker of hers (she works at Boeing) had just gotten back from Maui and suggested that a place like this would only be about $2M. As she is saying this, I'm thinking to myself.. WTF?!?!? you expect me to be able to buy a $2 million dollar place on Maui?

This might not really be the best forum for this, but I'm interested in what others think about this. Is it normal for women to be this interested in a guy's earning power and net worth? Is Seattle (and possibly other large or affluent cities) just a haven for women like this?

[dem862]

After a certain age [some] women figure out they can get things in exchange for sex. After that, they are on constant outlook for the highest bidder. As you can imagine, these women are not above stringing along a few men at a time, reaping whatever benefit they can from each one in turn, and keeping them secret from each other. If you want to play their game, you can get sex from them, but it ends up be unfulfilling as they really are not relationship material.

[Rowen]

OP, I'm glad that you are able to recognize this behavior. Now that you see it, are you pleased by it? No. So, I think it's time to re-evaluate the kinds of women you go for and what you need to change in what you look for so you can find true happiness... For instance, do you look for women who are very into their appearances? Are they much younger? Perhaps, these are two indicators for you...but again, I'm not you. So, I suggest finding what all these women have in common (besides that behavior) so you can hope to avoid it in the future. That's the only way to actually find someone who will care for you and your heart- by sifting through the ones that don't care at all.

My uncle isn't a big shot CEO or anything, but he does okay financially. His most recent girlfriend was fifty years old and only working part time- a woman who was very into her appearance and making casual affairs like having a few beers on a boat into a dressy one.. She'd actually leave her own mother in the care of her only son just so she could go on the road with him (He's an on the road salesman) and try to really work her way into his life and our family. In the end, though, it backfired because she was looking for him to take care of her and support her. But now he knows (hopefully) what not to look for in a woman, and he seems happier, at least. Maybe that's what's best for you too- growing from it?

Thus, in answer to your question, not all women over 30 are materialistic. There are quite a few that are very caring and not wrapped up in making money off of a spouse.. It's just a matter of finding them. So, ask yourself: what new approach to dating do I need to make?

[goodmorning]

Women are biologically programmed to seek out men who will be best able to provide needed resources. A lot of women let sexual attraction get in the way of finding a good provider choosing instead to procreate with some scumbag with a big penis, ruining their looks and ability to find a good provider.

If you dont want a woman to judge you based on who you are rather than what you have then dump the woman who wants a 2m home in maui.

My dad is a lawyer and pretty well off and ive seen a lot of women over time try to get him to marry them..
He eventually settled down with a woman who had her own thing going on and wasnt trying to get anything from him and loves him for who he is. He never settled for less.

A lot of people will sell their soul for money.

[chinagirl]

Not all women over 30 are after a man's wealth. There will be a few far and between of course who are looking for someone to take care of them and hopefully take them out of the job market so they don't ever have to work anymore.

My BF is on a profession where he makes a lot of money, but at the same time, spends money like there is no tomorrow. Bottom line is, I am more financially secure than him because I know how to save and invest money.

Just like Rowen had said, take a hard look at the types of women you are dating and change your criteria a little bit. Maybe you'll have better luck next time.

[Rowen]

Women are biologically programmed to seek out men who will be best able to provide needed resources.

Well, I know you were part of the feminist movement... >.>

[fearoflove]

Most people are materialistic, including you, or else you wouldn't be working hard for money. This post seems to be an emotional reaction to the fear that you may not be able to fulfil her expectations. Just be honest with her about what you have and if she is looking for a man who is wealthier and you don't want to stress yourself out looking for that wealth, that is ok. It just means you two are not a match. To answer your question, most women do look for men with wealth and a man who will and can treat her well because we are practical.

Women who are not a good catch might lower standards a bit but most of them truly do want a man who is wealthy.

[Butchie]

I have a friend in L.A. who talks at great length about how you have to have great eraning power to get women nowadays, but I have been fortunate to have run into women of all ages who are sweet, open-minded, and just want a good and decent person who has humor. The irony, is that, nowadays, it a heck of a lot more difficult to have humor when you are so much closer to being homeless by the lack of stability, loyalty, and allegience that corporations and other employers are showing to workers, especially for the genuine Middle (working)-class.

[fearoflove]

I have a friend in L.A. who talks at great length about how you have to have great eraning power to get women nowadays, but I have been fortunate to have run into women of all ages who are sweet, open-minded, and just want a good and decent person who has humor. The irony, is that, nowadays, it a heck of a lot more difficult to have humor when you are so much closer to being homeless by the lack of stability, loyalty, and allegience that corporations and other employers are showing to workers, especially for the genuine Middle (working)-class.

hahahahahaha

[smackie9]

I live in the Vancouver area (most expensive real estate in the country) and from my experience guys with wealth are pompous dicks worried about someone getting at their money.

[HeartIsAching]

I'm not even going to bother trying to answer your misogynistic, sexist question.

[chinagirl]

Most people are materialistic, including you, or else you wouldn't be working hard for money. This post seems to be an emotional reaction to the fear that you may not be able to fulfil her expectations. Just be honest with her about what you have and if she is looking for a man who is wealthier and you don't want to stress yourself out looking for that wealth, that is ok. It just means you two are not a match. To answer your question, most women do look for men with wealth and a man who will and can treat her well because we are practical.



Women who are not a good catch might lower standards a bit but most of them truly do want a man who is wealthy.

You're absolutely wrong. I'm a good catch and by no means I'm lowering my standards. My BF makes money and he's among the top 10% of the Americans who makes above the norms yet he spends his money as soon as he makes it. I can proudly say that I am more financially stable than him because how I view finances is certainly different than him. So please, do women the favor of not generalizing them as having the same point of view as you do.

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Especially women who are educated enough and have the financial stability to stand on their own.

[fearoflove]

You're absolutely wrong. I'm a good catch and by no means I'm lowering my standards. My BF makes money and he's among the top 10% of the Americans who makes above the norms yet he spends his money as soon as he makes it. I can proudly say that I am more financially stable than him because how I view finances is certainly different than him. So please, do women the favor of not generalizing them as having the same point of view as you do.

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Especially women who are educated enough and have the financial stability to stand on their own.

What are you disagreeing with me about? All women want wealthy men and financial stability. Educated and wealthy women want men who are the same unless she has low esteem or have other issues. You don't seem to be happy about your BF's financial habits.

[smackie9]

^^^^lol!^^^^

[chinagirl]

What are you disagreeing with me about? All women want wealthy men and financial stability. Educated and wealthy women want men who are the same unless she has low esteem or have other issues. You don't seem to be happy about your BF's financial habits.

Really????