Falling hard with a friend

[Lovedreamer]

A few months ago I realized I was in love with one of my best friends. We are classmates at the same university and we spend a lot of time together either studying or just talking about our lives. I have developed deep feelings about him, but I feel that he only sees me as a friend study. Furthermore, he is flirting with a freshman there about six months. They almost never talk face to face, the flirt is always by texting. She spend every day sending him flirtatious text messages and he always replied her.
I simply don't know what is the best thing to do. We have a lot of fun together and I really like him, but he is always texting with the other girl. I don't know what is going on between them and I think it's very strange that they never speak personally and keep flirting so long.
I have already asked him if she was his girlfriend or if there was anything between them, but he gave me a negative answer to both questions.
I would like to get some advise about this. Everything I want is to try to change this state of things. I simply do not know how to do that...

Thanks in advance.

[nico88]

My advice would be to tell him how you feel. It can be tricky sometimes when you guys are such good friends first because it can potentially ruin what you guys have if he doesn't feel the same way, but sometimes you gotta put those fears aside and take the risk you know? Good luck.

[Sonrisa]

Letting him know how you feel may actually end any relationship that you have with him if he doesn't feel the same. If he hasn't pursued you yet than there's absolutely no interest. My suggestion is to get him drunk and have a "talk". If he doesn't make a move in a drunken state, then you are out of luck.

[Rowen]

Be direct and communicate how you feel, just as nico suggested. If not, you're going to regret taking that chance later on. And if he shoots you down, so what? At least you had the nerve to try, right?

Also, it sounds like he may just be interested in hooking up with this girl... So, who knows?

[MrLoyal]

My guess is they were probably just chatting and by now if they have not met up she has probably put him in friend zone.

I agree with all advice. You should ask him out there is no harm. Be playful about it.

It could actually be a good idea to take him out for a few drinks and tell him how you feel. He might give you the truth about the whole triangle if you are honest and upfront.

[Exeter19]

why is he flirty texting her and never you, maybe he doesn't see you that way at all, and only as a friend. it is hard to get out of the friend zone if you have been in it for awhile or the other person cannot see you as anything more. you could jokingly ask him why don't you ever send me flirty texts and laugh, and see how it answers. if he goes that would be weird or something like that you know he doesn't like you that way.

[Lovedreamer]

Thank you guys for all the advice. I really would like to tell him what I feel but I'm afraid to lose the friendship we have... And even if I take the risk, I just don't know what is the best way to tell him. I'm a bit shy and I think I will never have the courage to reveal my feelings. Could you give me a little help with this?

[Sonrisa]

I still must say, keep it to yourself to avoid embarrassing yourself.

[smackie9]

If he was really into you he would have made a move by now.

If you want to attract guys you have to be flirty, and look sexy. It's not rocket science.