Help on writing a letter

[cheazypeaz]

hello

ok might come accross as a bit sad, but well ive got 2 excuses for doing this, 1 she is on holiday, so the letter will acctually be an email, and 2, its sometimes easiar to get alot of your feelings out by doing this..

once youve written it and hit the send button, theres nothing imbetween that to put you off writing it as there would be when saying it to her face, as you'd get feedback, which sometimes stops the momentum

anyway ive got alot of things i feel i need to get accross to my girlfriend about how i feel, and about how sometimes i feel mistreat, i dont want to send her an email that looks like i hate her, or an email thats just 100% 'having a go'

could someone maybe give me a hand writing this, dont want it to cause any grief, just to get the point accross but to let her know i still want to be with her etc.

cheers,
spike

[equivo]

I'm not the best at writing letters concerning love etc. and I haven't had a lot of experience.. But I think a good tip is to write what you're thinking (after getting a bit of advice or whatever) and then read it through a good number of times and imagine you're the receiver. Make sure that you as the receiver are getting the message that you intend to be giving.
Also maybe get a few others to read it through and see how they perceive it.

Shit advice I know

[cheazypeaz]

i do read it myself afterward a couple of times, just to make sure it makes sense, and i fitted in everything where i wanted to..

i was just kinda looking for some ways to say stuff like..

"it really pisses me off when you dont invite me to come out with you to places you go, i feel like strangling you".. but in a nice way.. get me?

[artyemi]

maybe something like the feeling you get from some of her actions.... jee.. if you feel like strangling her because she doesn't invite you to go places, that's sort of scary...

anyway... let her know that you would've like to gone with her.. suggest maybe next time she goes to invite you..

just remember people have reasons for what they do.. maybe she was with her family...

[cheazypeaz]

no its a few times, she has gone to partys n stuff, and instead of asking me to go ... she dosent, i can see reasons sometimes but others not..
reasons are maybe, her friends dont like me or dont want me to go, fair enough.

i honestly cant think of much else, she also has this nack of going on about other guys alot, like she has this friend called spud (girls are allowed guy mates i dont care) but shes allways on about other guys and how she sees an old mate she knew, or has been out with her x or something..
i dunno what kind of response she expects when she says something like that to me, i just pretend i dont care, when really i feel like saying to her that i dont like her going out with these other guys, but i suppose thats unfair.

i try and let her do everything she wants to do and not let her see me as an object to doing something she wants, but i do feel left out when i text her and she will say oh im out with my friends (4 guys one is her x) and that she wont be back for 2 hours. and im thinking to myself.. hang on a minuite, ive just said ill come over in 10 minuites but she wants to hang about with her mates.. is this right.. or am i being selfish.

id like to add to this that when i had my motorbike i was out on it alot, i would go out a couple of hours a night or so with my mates, and even more at the weekend, do you think she is trying to get her own back or something? have i been leaving her out and she feeling like i do then..

are we punishing eachother??

jeees.

[equivo]

Yeah I see...

Well I'd advise not using any insults or anything you wouldn't say to her in person. Sometimes a completely different personality from the same person can be perceived from written words instead of spoken, which can be quite disturbing (an ex of mine dumped me via e-mail once, and I was convinced it was a hoax cos the whole thing sounded like it came from an entirely different person!)

I'm not sure if you wanted an idea for that particular sentence.. but I would say "It get quite upset when I find out you've been out one night without inviting me or even telling me about it. I don't understand why you do this." or words to that effect. You definitely don't wanna be getting into the realms of "pissed off" and "strangling" etc... obviously.

Basically just use calm and sensible language and don't include anything that may hit home particularly hard. I mean like you said you don't wanna break up with her so you have to be really careful how you word things.

To be honest I'm just telling you common sense stuff which you most likely already know. I'd wait for someone else to contribute, who may actually have something useful to say

[equivo]

I generally find that face to face communication is better than written. You can see a true reaction from the other person as you speak, and they don't have time to think up lavish excuses as to why they have/haven't done stuff.

It's harder but more effective, imo.

[cheazypeaz]

thanks for that...

well, ill send her an email, and explain i want her to talk to me more (which she allways said she found hard).. wierd .. seriousoly is it just me that think women are strange?

[equivo]

If she finds it hard it'll be great for her to get more practice

I think face to face has so much more effect and meaning than what you get from reading a few sentences without the person present. There's so much you can get from body language and tone of voice, that you'd never find in words.

My last ex was afraid of discussing our relationship in person cos she doesn't have a lot of self confidence, so we usually did it via text or email. Neither of us ever really got an understanding of each other until late on in the relationship we finally had a big "discussion" about it, and everything became so much clearer.

Anyway, I'm rambling...

[cheazypeaz]

na your not its all good mate, thanks for the sound advice.

i think we kinda need one of those, sometimes we can sit and talk, but we never seem to be able to get to the 'crunch' of whats wrong etc. it allways just to seem to hang over the conversation and not get mentioned..

she is like this with me, she can tell me her feelings thru text, but not face to face, she says it upsets her when we 'talk' about it rather than in text etc.

i start to loose faith that she has the feelings she says for me in text , when its not mentioned in real life..

she sent me this message to me saying i was the best bf she ever had and im the only one that has shown i reallly care etc, but ive never heard anything like that to my face.

normal or wierd?

ill get the email sorted out tommorow, stick a revision up on here to let ya ppls read.

[cheazypeaz]

oop crap just forgot something that i could include in the email..

heres where i get slated..

ok i was on hols myself, as i may have already mentioned, and well guess what i did, nothing serious i managed to stop myself.. but heres what happened.

i was out with some girls (and guys) . i got really drunk, yep stupid but hell im a teenager im allowed i guess, i was downing bottles of beer and alcopops all night, got really drunk, and one of the girls started coming onto me,. i didn't want to cheat on her, but at the time i didn't react to it by saying no i dont want to.. and just let the night flow.

coming out of a bar, i was walking along and somehow everyone else seemed to get ahead except me and this girl, she kinda went infront of me , slowed down and turned around, because i was walking we ended up getting real close, then stopped.. heads really close.. then i kinda snogged her.. woops!
as the night proceeded i did it a few times, i knew this bird wanted me and i couldv'e done anything i wanted with her, she ended up getting really drunk also and lay down on a bench..

heres were you ppl slate me again, her mate, came close to me, and i kinda snogged her too... while the other wasnt watching.. it felt good at the time, and i was having fun etc.. but when it came to the point were sex starting getting talked about, she said to me 'your going to need a condom with me' i said, 'who the hell said i was gonna shag you' ...

and that was the end of that..

woops, sorry! i ddint mean to.. am i bugger, i dont think i should tell her... i dont want to hurt her.. or is it to serious that i wont be able to hold it as a secret? personaly i didnt see it as much and i dont think theres any need for her to know because it was a stupid mistake and nothing would come of it except arguments etc..

what you reckon, include it? ... or wait till she gets home? ... ohhh scary stuff.

Sorry sam, luv u but shit happens...

[Tone]

i was just kinda looking for some ways to say stuff like..

"it really pisses me off when you dont invite me to come out with you to places you go, i feel like strangling you".. but in a nice way.. get me?

Yeah man, I know exactly what you mean.. start it off like this:

"Dear Sweetheart,

Because I care for you so much I've gone through the trouble to check myself in to the local mental hospital..." then go from there. Pour your heart out, and hope they can help you, bud!

[cheazypeaz]

body:

hi babe,

its been over 2 weeks sinse i have seen you now, really missing you loads! ive been doing bugger all since i have got back from spain, it seems to be taking me over 3 hours to get to sleep, so by the time i got to bed at 6 oclock this morning, i got up at 3 oclock.. all because i cant stop thinking about you! sorry if that sounds a bit sad to you but its true!

Wish you had something to say when you came on msn, its nice to know how your'e doing and what youv'e been up to, i like it when we can talk to eachother about stuff we been doing, i really care about how your'e feeling, and if you not feeling good i like to try and help.. if you dont talk to me in the first place how can i find out? ... one word responses just make me feel like you dont even want to talk to me, and your not even going to try!

While your on holiday i kinda feel left at home doing nothing while you could be out there doing anything you like! well... i was on holiday for a week and im really sorry that you didn't come with me, how much i regret that you wouldn't believe it.. You said you will never hurt me, which i believe, but i have got feelings of jelousy, when you talk about other lads, when your out with other lads, it can make me feel like how come you want to go out with these people when you could ask me to come, or ask me to do something. its rare we go out n stuff, just a thought.. thats all.

i cant wait till tuesday, make me so happy to see ya again, luv ya loads n loads... spike.


hell im shit at writing letters can someone helppp meee pleaseee

[cheazypeaz]

i feel i need to add more than this

[Tone]

How old are you? And how old is she?