Rocky sex life

[confusedguy1012]

My fiance and I were going through some stuff not too long ago we were arguing she was depressed I was taking my anger out on her and we put a hold on sex for a while till we worked things out now that we have we are starting up sex again but were having issues she won't let me see her body I mean she just pull her pants down enough so I can get in and it's usually missionary in the dark, she never initiates anything, and has been stopping me when she gets close to Cumming, and won't talk dirty or speak up, she tells me she loves me and wants to be with me but it's like she lost her confidence in bed what should I do?

[Rowen]

Interesting problem..but I'm curious- what kind of problems exactly were you going through that you put that hold on sex? And how were they handled?
Perhaps, this is merely the way those problems were handled..

[Wakeup]

Break off the engagement.

[confusedguy1012]

Interesting problem..but I'm curious- what kind of problems exactly were you going through that you put that hold on sex? And how were they handled?
Perhaps, this is merely the way those problems were handled..

It was handled with therapy

[Rowen]

Alright, well, it may possibly be a product of that struggle. So, in my opinion, I think it might be wise for you to try to communicate with her to see if she's pleased with your sex life. Perhaps it's just that she's emotionally turned off from everything still and needs a little more time.

Honestly, it could be any number of things..but I doubt you'll get to the bottom of it if she's closed up like a turtle in its shell...no offense. :S So, try asking if she's pleased with your sex life and if there's anything that would make it better for her.

[michelle23]

What problems were you having? It sounds like she feels unattractive

[Exeter19]

did you cheat on her or flirt with someone and she found out, or said anything through texts she might have read on your phone, she doesn't seem to be into sex with you now and there has to be a good reason. the " won't let me see her body " is strange, you are engaged and obviously she let you see her before, could she have been sexually assaulted and didn't tell you?

why can't you straight out ask her wtf is going on with you?

[confusedguy1012]

I just don't want to ask because I don't want it to seem like sex is all I care about. The "issues" we were having all came down to her losing a baby and it made her pretty depressed and I blamed her and when she would get sad I would get pissed we worked things out in therapy.

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did you cheat on her or flirt with someone and she found out, or said anything through texts she might have read on your phone, she doesn't seem to be into sex with you now and there has to be a good reason. the " won't let me see her body " is strange, you are engaged and obviously she let you see her before, could she have been sexually assaulted and didn't tell you?

why can't you straight out ask her wtf is going on with you?

I never cheated i talk to other girls but I've never cheated and no I think I would know if she was sexually assaulted

[Rowen]

I just don't want to ask because I don't want it to seem like sex is all I care about. The "issues" we were having all came down to her losing a baby and it made her pretty depressed and I blamed her and when she would get sad I would get pissed we worked things out in therapy.

My condolences... :S I think it might be a reaction to losing that child still; that's something that sticks with you.. Have you tried reassurance at all?

[confusedguy1012]

My condolences... :S I think it might be a reaction to losing that child still; that's something that sticks with you.. Have you tried reassurance at all?

What do you mean by reassurance? I mean I constantly tell her she's beautiful and I love her and I will never leave her.

[Rowen]

Refrain from all sex whatsoever for a little and try to romance her again... Take her to dinner and hold her hand in the car. Look into her eyes and talk to her; reassure her not only with words but with actions too.

[Exeter19]

I just don't want to ask because I don't want it to seem like sex is all I care about. The "issues" we were having all came down to her losing a baby and it made her pretty depressed and I blamed her and when she would get sad I would get pissed we worked things out in therapy.

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I never cheated i talk to other girls but I've never cheated and no I think I would know if she was sexually assaulted

this is why and i would suggest next thread you make you give us all the crucial - need - to - know details in the first post, it makes sense now why she is that way regarding sex, had you mentioned that right off i wouldn't had to throw out all those guesses your way. you'll just have to continue to be patient with her, maybe suggest someone she can talk to privately also, to emotionally and mentally heal.

[michelle23]

Its going to take time and perhaps she should go to therapy alone for awhile. Maybe stop initiating sex for awhile and just cuddle her, hold her hand. Shes obviously depressed and just needs time. You could get her a puppy. Sometimes when your grieving-it can really help. It helped me when my aunt died

[confusedguy1012]

Get her a puppy? I don't really like that idea but it's worth a shot. I guess I didn't realize she was still sad over it.

[michelle23]

I know it sounds stupid but having something to love and cuddle helps. It could also be a distraction and make her smile.