Two boyfriends?

[dem862]

No? Seems then that they are still the majority.

Still the majority, but losing ground. Could parity result in mass chaos, or will roving bands of gender-based sexual mobs engaging in mass intercourse become the norm. Inquisitive minds want to know.

Caged wiener. lol

I know why the caged wiener sings...

[Wakeup]

... lmao ...

[searock]

Still the majority, but losing ground.

So it's not a women's market and it's still a men's market so far. I don't think there will ever be a time in the near future (the course of our lifetimes) when there will be more women doing things like that, than men. Not that it matters, but it's kind of like when people see a movie with 4 guys and a girl as main characters and it seems normal, then they see a movie with 2 guys and 3 girls (not anyone's girlfriends) and all of a sudden it seems weird, it becomes a "girl's movie".

[dem862]

Considering testosterone fuels the demand and women control the supply, I would venture to say that women have always had the potential to control the market. It was just never exercised. I find more and more women are becoming more and more demanding in their expectations and the balance of supply and demand is swinging toward the supply-side. I don't think anyone sees that trend shifting in the next 25-50 years.

[michelle23]

Um I think its 50/50 men and women. Who do you think these people are cheating with?

[dem862]

If you want empirical proof, simply look at the ratio of men:women on any on-line dating site. You will see a woman gets, I would estimate, 100 requests to every man's one request.

[Rowen]

The way I see it, you have a choice to make here, just as Michelle and Searock were getting towards.

If you want monogamy with someone, the whole basis of monogamy is not to see other people.. So, to say that you want monogamy but also your open relationship is, in itself, quite the contradiction. With that being said, while I understand you have feelings for both men, take a step back and assess what you want. Do you want a relationship where you hardly see the man you're with and have the freedom to sleep with whomever you choose? Or, would you prefer to be with someone that is there and could potentially give you something meaningful, except with commitment?

Personally, it doesn't truly seem like this long distance relationship is going to work out- my feelings about open relationships aside. This is because part of having a relationship is being with someone in person to share experiences together. Granted, I'm sure you and Craig keep up to date on each other's lives online, but how is that compared to being there in person to go through it with them yourself? To me, at least, it doesn't compare. And I don't feel it would be healthy for you to continue with Sam trying to achieve something which is, due to your relationship with Craig, unreachable...

What I suggest is to take a step back and really evaluate what you want. But also evaluate what you NEED. Sometimes, we want relationships that we think we'd do well with... But when push comes to shove? We find that those are the very relationships that don't work out. I'll give you a little personal experience so you see what I mean: I used to love the idea of having a dominant man in a relationship and actually looked for that. But what I found was (and partly this is due to the helpful insight of members on this forum and partly due to my therapist) that I NEEDED someone to respect me more than anything...and the dominant men did not respect me. The last date I went on with one, I sat through the entire meal recognizing indicators of controlling and unhealthy behavior like him telling me what to do and repeatedly trying to feel me up despite my attempts to keep his hand respectful... It made me really, really unhappy. :S So, maybe what you NEED is different than what you WANT- I don't know because I'm obviously not you and this is only something you can figure out. And if you follow this, remember that you CANNOT base your decision of either man regardless of what you feel when you're with them. It has to be for YOU and ONLY you because, if not, you're never going to ensure your own happiness.

As for masticate, I cannot disagree more with his advice. There is no problem with YOU besides the fact that you seem confused about what you want. And NO your vagina is not losing worth... Don't even consider having any bisexual experience just to please a man. If a man truly cares about you, he'll care about you regardless of what you look like, what you wear, and what your strengths and weaknesses are. That's respect, and if he doesn't, he doesn't respect you. A bisexual experience- like any sexual experience- should only be if YOU personally want it to happen. It should NEVER be used to gain leverage over someone because all you'll do is be untrue to yourself and emotionally hurt yourself if things don't work out (which they usually don't- this is experience talking).

I'm sorry the post is so long, but I really wanted to explain lots of things, and I really hope this helps you find peace. :S

[dem862]

So it's not a women's market and it's still a men's market so far. I don't think there will ever be a time in the near future (the course of our lifetimes) when there will be more women doing things like that, than men. Not that it matters, but it's kind of like when people see a movie with 4 guys and a girl as main characters and it seems normal, then they see a movie with 2 guys and 3 girls (not anyone's girlfriends) and all of a sudden it seems weird, it becomes a "girl's movie".

OMG. All books and movies popular with teenagers feature one girl and two guys (the female's market). It has become the norm.

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Um I think its 50/50 men and women. Who do you think these people are cheating with?

Not necessarily. When you take out the couples, there is usually one person with several partners of the opposite gender. It is much easier for the woman to accomplish this because all she had to do is choose among which suitors she wants to entertain.

[searock]

If you want empirical proof, simply look at the ratio of men:women on any on-line dating site. You will see a woman gets, I would estimate, 100 requests to every man's one request.

Yeah, which means that it's a lot more likely for there to be cheaters among the men on that dating site, rather than the women.

I agree with the fact that a woman in general can find a sexual partner if she wants to, whereas for a man it's more difficult. I thought we were talking about more women than men being cheaters and having "other men" on the side. That is false, I think it's 50/50 or if anything, there are more men than women doing it.

Also, it is not the case of OP. In her case, she and her boyfriend are in an open relationship.

[chinagirl]

[QUOTE=dem862;988125]OMG. All books and movies popular with teenagers feature one girl and two guys (the female's market). It has become the norm.

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Twilight... Hunger Games

[searock]

OMG. All books and movies popular with teenagers feature one girl and two guys (the female's market). It has become the norm.

Not in mainstream media. Groups of people where there are more men than women are considered normal on screen, whereas groups of people with half women and half men are considered unbalanced in that there seem to be more women than men.

[dem862]

Yeah, which means that it's a lot more likely for there to be cheaters among the men on that dating site, rather than the women.

I agree with the fact that a woman in general can find a sexual partner if she wants to, whereas for a man it's more difficult. I thought we were talking about more women than men being cheaters and having "other men" on the side. That is false, I think it's 50/50 or if anything, there are more men than women doing it.

Also, it is not the case of OP. In her case, she and her boyfriend are in an open relationship.

I agree more men are cheaters. By women's market, I meant that women were exercising their sexual freedom moreso than years past. It is a good time to be female, I suppose.

[lalalita]

Why would you leave someone that you have peace of mind with in order to date someone who makes you feel insecure and jealous? You're even willing to change your open relationship views to be monogamous with him. This all smells like recipe for disaster. My bet is that if you leave your current boyfriend for this guy, you'll end up cheated on or otherwise unhappy and wish you were still with someone so understanding as Craig.

[dem862]

Not in mainstream media. Groups of people where there are more men than women are considered normal on screen, whereas groups of people with half women and half men are considered unbalanced in that there seem to be more women than men.

Well, here it is mainstream. Like the Hunger Games and Twilight. There are many others. My girlfriend has 3 teen daughters who read all that stuff, so I get to see more of those movies than the average male. The centerpiece is some angsty girl whose biggest problem in life is choosing which guy to be with, as she defeats the villains and saves the world for certain destruction.

[searock]

Well, here it is mainstream. Like the Hunger Games and Twilight. There are many others. My girlfriend has 3 teen daughters who read all that stuff, so I get to see more of those movies than the average male. The centerpiece is some angsty girl whose biggest problem in life is choosing which guy to be with, as she defeats the villains and saves the world for certain destruction.

It is mainstream but it is aimed at a particular sub-group... teenagers, particularly teenage girls. It is not the dominant narrative... they are aimed particularly at young women. Also, most characters even in those stories are male, apart from the female protagonist, and you definitely don't see the opposite in "regular" movies (the ones with male main characters, that is).

Anyway, we are talking about two different things. I made the analogy with the fact that when there's a 50/50 male/female distribution, viewers seem to think that there are more females than males, whereas when there actually are more males than females, it seems like there's an equal amount of males and females. It is the norm to see men as main characters - or, in the case of "girl movies", as the sole and main focus of the story - rather than women. I made the analogy because I thought you were saying that more women than men are now having affairs and cheating, whereas I think that it's simply a matter of more women than before (and NOT more women than men) doing it, because they are free enough to be able to do so. It may seem like more women than men are doing it because society and the media tells us that it's unusual for women to cheat (or do anything actively), so when we see a few women (compared to the men) that do, they seem to be prevalent, which is not true.