Reason Why You Would Go Out With Someone‬

[Exeter19]

several reasons, i am interested in them, attracted too, and want to get to know them better. as for online dating, no i wouldn't go that route, it doesn't interest me, i would go out if i had met the other person IN person only, not just off a picture.

[TheEvilJester]

I do understand that. I've had dates with four separate people I met online and each one was a waste.
The first one was completely unable to put her phone down so we could talk and get to know each other.
The second one kept asking about my income and if I got regular pay increases. Never answered any of those question. I don't think thats appropriate first date topics.
The third was using an older thinner pic of herself. And I felt more like she was just looking for someone to buy her dinner.
The last gal had no pic, described herself as tall and curvy. We meet for breakfast on a Saturday. Ya she was tall 5'10 maybe 5'11 but I would have to say she was a good 300+ lbs. And to me, thats not curvy, just plan fat.

Wow! You have had some bad experiences with online dating. But... Hell, at least you had some people actually frigging respond. Thus far, my experience has been that absolutely nobody even bothers to respond when you try to message them. Of the few who do, they act interested in getting to know you, but disappear after one or two messages. Granted, I know many of you have said you shouldn't message somebody over and over and over before asking them out or they may lose interest and think you'll never take it further. But, seriously, one or two messages and then you just disappear? Doesn't show a whole lot of interest, so why should I bother to ask you out?

Anyway, as for your last person you mentioned above, personally I don't bother to message anybody who doesn't have a picture. I hate how that sounds, but the truth is, I find that necessary for a couple reasons.

1) Having a few decent pictures makes it at least seem a little more likely that they are really the person they pretend to be in their profile. Having no pictures (or even just one) makes me wary, thinking they may just be some phoney trying to scam people.

2) As much as I hate this about us as human beings, physical attraction is important. If you don't find somebody attractive, then you are not likely going to want to be in a relationship with them. So, to me you are almost doing each other a favor if you don't message people you don't think you'd find attractive. Otherwise, you'd be getting somebody's hopes up when chances are you have no intention of dating them.

[countrysailor]

What got me with POF, they have that meet me type thing were you can quickly scroll through and say yes or no. Well someone marked yes for me so I checked out their profile. Like what I saw and read so I messaged her, just a simple greeting introducing myself and asking if should like to talk. She blocked me. Couldn't figure out why she would select yes for meeting me then block me when I contact her.

[Rowen]

What got me with POF, they have that meet me type thing were you can quickly scroll through and say yes or no. Well someone marked yes for me so I checked out their profile. Like what I saw and read so I messaged her, just a simple greeting introducing myself and asking if should like to talk. She blocked me. Couldn't figure out why she would select yes for meeting me then block me when I contact her.

^ I had the exact same kind of experience with some of the guys on there. Honestly, I feel that Okcupid is much better than POF, so if either you or EvilJester (or anyone) feels like using a dating site at all, I'd recommend that one, as it's just as free (not to sound like I'm advertising or anything). POF, despite their changes to try to gravitate away from it, in my experience, is more of a hookup site than an actual dating site. Honestly, there are only four guys I met on there who I still talk to, and they're just friends...

But, as for online dating in general, the Meet Me and Quickmatch (On Okcupid, it's Quickmatch instead) features are tough to read because you get a lot of people making their judgment based on the photograph. And, honestly, that's just shallow... Yet, other times, people do it as a means of saying, "Hey, wouldn't mind talking to you and seeing what your personality is all about"- kind of like not bothering to waste the time typing out a message for each and instead letting the person you rate come to you... :S My former Women in Lit professor met her husband that way on Match.

[michelle23]

I like to know a bit about someone before agreeing to a date. Ive never done the whole online dating thing, never let a friend set me up on a blind date, never said yes to a random guy I know nothing about.. I take my time, suss him out, figure out whether I like him first and think hes a genuine guy. Then ill go on a date..

[countrysailor]

I've used both OkCupid as well as POF. I was talking for one gal on OkCupid and I thought everything was great, then she disabled her profile. I thought allot of the gals on both were pretty stuck up

[latina31]

I used to be on POF but I didn't like it, guys there were only looking for hook ups... And as countrysailor says this girl disabled her account I did too, because it wasn't worth it. To me Match is a lot better... POF and Ok Cupid have a lot of people without pictures even though I said I wouldn't respond back to any person without it I still got them.
I am disappointed with the whole online dating lot of men in there are married virtually cheating on their wives... Sad, but true

[IndiReloaded]

I would never use online dating. I would go out, make eye contact, flirt and socially interact with men til I found someone that has good chemistry. You can't get that from a picture or a profile.

Interesting. I'm the complete opposite. I like the idea of the intellectual triage online before meeting someone. Someone unable to string together a coherent paragraph is not going to attract me, no matter what he looks like.

[TheEvilJester]

I used to be on POF but I didn't like it, guys there were only looking for hook ups... And as countrysailor says this girl disabled her account I did too, because it wasn't worth it. To me Match is a lot better... POF and Ok Cupid have a lot of people without pictures even though I said I wouldn't respond back to any person without it I still got them.
I am disappointed with the whole online dating lot of men in there are married virtually cheating on their wives... Sad, but true

I may have to try POF or OK Cupid to form my own opinion. I forgot about them. However, from my experience, Match is just as much a load of crap. The vast majority of people don't message you back. The few that do, it seems even they don't take anything seriously. For the most part, the only people who have bothered to respond wind up disappearing after one or two messages. I'm seriously already wondering why the Hell I bothered, and I haven't even been on all that long yet. It's hard not to get frustrated and take it personally. But, I would guess it is not too different from anybody's experience using these crappy sites.

[smackie9]

Interesting. I'm the complete opposite. I like the idea of the intellectual triage online before meeting someone. Someone unable to string together a coherent paragraph is not going to attract me, no matter what he looks like.

I guess I'm more aggressive in how I meet people. I find people are more confident behind a keyboard than in person. I like the real deal, verbal one on one conversation, so I can read their body language, how spontanious their conversational skills are, etc. I can usually figure out within about 20 mins if worth pursuing, instead of a week or so of internet chit chat.

I like meeting people in person and go from their....I find it more fun being out. Sitting at home is boring.

[elino]

Having similar interests can give better potential than asking a random person you know nothing about. But profile pictures can lie.

[IndiReloaded]

I guess I'm more aggressive in how I meet people. I find people are more confident behind a keyboard than in person. I like the real deal, verbal one on one conversation, so I can read their body language, how spontanious their conversational skills are, etc. I can usually figure out within about 20 mins if worth pursuing, instead of a week or so of internet chit chat.

I like meeting people in person and go from their....I find it more fun being out. Sitting at home is boring.

The problem for me is that 20 minutes meeting someone takes an hour of getting ready, driving there, home, etc. Not worth my hourly rate for some random, unqualified joe.

[KingZ]

The problem for me is that 20 minutes meeting someone takes an hour of getting ready, driving there, home, etc. Not worth my hourly rate for some random, unqualified joe.

Exactly. There's such an insane amount of effort required to get to that point...

Why waste the time? I have papers to write.

(Full disclosure: I've never tried online dating.)

[smackie9]

There are more than one to check out. It's all about the hunt, seek and find. I love getting dressed up, putting on a pair of sexy shoes, socializing, enjoying the atmosphere, chillin with my peeps, hitting the dance floor, etc.

[TablesandChairs]

No, I wouldn't. Similar interests is such a generic thing, absolutely does not indicate whether you'll get along with someone or not. I would need communication/dialogue; a photo will tell you whether you find the person attractive enough to date, but then, I wouldn't want to be stuck on a date with someone who looked okay but have no ability to make conversation, no sense of humour etc.

If we're talking internet dating where you can't actually interact with the person...then you would need to chat to them. People that are boring to chat to online are usually boring to chat to in real life too. Plus there's that ease of interaction that you'd have to establish before going on a date.