What's going on? What's this trend with the unemployed men?

[BeyondReason]

Well, I'm 24, and I've had three relationships that have lasted more than a year, my longest being just short of three years: My ages with the three past relationships. (17-18, 18-20, 20-23).

At work, I am surrounded by many of the male workers as a great friend, it's almost as if they are in line to speak to me. The same applies to many of the females at either of my jobs, but most of these are "friendzone" relationships, but I don't really care, since I'm not interested in most of these females in a sexual manner either. Socially, I have no issues, never had, and don't expect to in the future. Much of this is due to the wide range of subjects upon which I can converse. One, I'm a Libertarian/Constitutionalist, which allows me to converse politically with the more mature minded of either party/ideology in a civil and engaging manner. Two, I love cars and repair them myself. Three, I graduated with a degree in piano and clarinet performance and musical composition. Four, I have a second in mathematics, as I had to discontinue music after being afflicted by carpel tunnel. At night I tend to "Wiki-binge." Yes this makes me rather nerdy in some respects, but I also work out at the local gym and can a run a mile in 5:20. I've also worked at Geek Squad in Best Buy for more than a year, so I know a lot about computers too.

And bear in mind, that I've had three successful relationships, one of which ended when my first GF went to another college (from highschool), the second my the next GF went back to her home country, the third ended out of mutual boredom, she only wanted to go to "girly" things, and never wanted to tag along to things that I enjoyed (such as watching a local car race or horse race or something else that could be considered masculine). So whatever, you it ended over incompatibility issues, and we still talk frequently as it is (we mutually freindzoned each other).

So, it's been more than a year now and I have not been able to get another girlfriend. And what's strange is that unlike the previous years, I'm actively seeking one. I'm not really into "one-night stands" anymore, I've had solid relationships and they are definitely far more rewarding than being single in terms of fulfillment and purpose.


Now you've probably noticed that my screen is called "Beyond Explanation/Reason," and now I will share why, and perhaps you can fill me in.

I've noticed a rather disturbing trend. I've meticulous attempted to "court" (court in the 21st Century sense) about four women in the past 18 months, and each of them were showing signs of high interest, positive responses to both my words and touch. They were all very close in age, the least being 21. All of these girls were at my job as well (one of them).

Yet, each of these girls were "snatched" by a part-time dude, who had no car, no house, and barely any money, one of them even got fired for drinking on the job and she's still with him. ?????

Initially, I thought it was a just a bizarre series of ****ed up choices by these particular females. I'm not saying that material wealth is the sole qualifier for a relationship, but on LONG ISLAND (especially Suffolk County, the east side) , a man without a CAR is IMMOBILE and entirely dependent upon others for transportation.

Since I was on "good terms" with these females, they would ask ME to give them and their new BF a ride. I don't tolerate that crap, and I said NO. I actually greased another one of my friends, Tony, to NOT give one couple a ride either, yeah I actually gave him $20 to go straight home. I wanted to see them stranded without a ride. Needless to say, this couple broke up literally the next day LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

Anyway, that aside, so as I said, I thought it was "just a bizarre series of ****ed up choices." So while I was at the gym, I asked a question to some of the guys (in a conversation/non-obvious manner) that I never asked before..."What's your job/occupation." I was alarmed when more than half of these buff monsters FREELY admitted that they didn't have a job, they were on government subsidy and "parental" subsidy.

What? And these are the guys with some smoking girlfriends on top of it. Often multiple chicks. ??? Then I'm at Dunkin Donuts and I see a girl from Highschool who I know has a degree in Dental Law and Dentistry with some punk looking dude who also said he was unemployed, meanwhile I know that she (Erin) is basically his "sugar mommy" even though she is actually younger than him.

So I started to wonder, honestly, should I just quit both my jobs, sell my house, get on the taxpayer dole, super buff myself at the gym and move back in with my parents so I can land a smoking GF?

On Long Island, I always thought that a Car, House and Decent Income were PREREQUISITES to any successful relationship. Notice I said "prereqs" and not "indicators" or "guarantees."

Why am I being FRIENDZONES at an alarming rate now. And I don't mean the "Cold-FriendZone" where the weirdos go. I'm constantly finding myself in the "BFF Zone," while having them snatched by virtually unemployed, carless, drunk, houseless douchbags.

What's going on here, is this the latest trend, should I join in?

[HeartIsAching]

To begin with, regardless of what the government says, the economy is still in the crapper, and jobs are still very scarce.

From what I gathered from your post, the reason you're single is that you're a vindictive asshole.

[lalalita]

Money, cars and living arrangements are not the tell of a good man. I'd rather date a man I am compatible with than a man with all the trimmings.

[so..umhey]

Mmm maybe the other guy is just more attractive to them???

[chinagirl]

If you move to the North Shore of Long Island (considered as the Gold Coast), there are some materialistic women out there looking for a male who's already made like you.

But kidding aside, most women now are very independent and are not necessarily looking for someone who has a car and a house, intelligence as prereqs, maybe, but as lalalita said, there are a lot more in a person than those stuff that you mentioned like sense of humor, good personality, down to earth, etc.

You just need to keep on looking until you find someone you click with.

Good luck in your search.

[BeyondReason]

Money, cars and living arrangements are not the tell of a good man. I'd rather date a man I am compatible with than a man with all the trimmings.

If you actually read my thread, I didn't say they were the tell of a good man, they are simply prerequisites to ANY relationship, or so I thought...

If a man (on Long Island) doesn't have a car, what on earth makes you think he'll be good in any other way. He's a obviously a loser. Look how fast that chick broke up with him when they were stranded, not even 24 hours LOLOLOL

- - - Updated - - -

the reason you're single is that you're a vindictive asshole.

Nah, the reason both people in that previous couple are single is that I taught them both a lesson in reality. LOLOLOLOL

In that actual episode, I paid my friend $20 to clock out an hour early and get some beer, I didnt' actually tell him why. I'm told the girl I'd give her a ride. When they both came for a ride after work, I'd said I'd give her a ride, not him, he'd have to pay. Naturally he had no money, like the loser he is, and she got pissed. But they were stranded for several hours and SHE had pay for a taxi.

They broke up the next morning/afternoon.

Then two days ago she texted me to go out to Applebees.

I said no.

LOLOLOLO ROFL LOLOLOLOL

In fact it was that very text message that inspired this thread.

But what is it, what is the mystery? Should I fake I'm a loser with no money, and then invite them to my house and reveal that I'm not a welfare parasite? Will they be angry that I lied about being a loser?

[surfhb]

You're a dick and that girl has every right to be pissed. Who cares the reason she broke up with him.....I can guarantee it wasn't over his inability to have a ride

The reason you don't get women is because you're an asshole.....you sure as shit showed it when you blew her off after she asked you to hang out.

Seriously?! You went to great lengths to see a couple stranded to "teach a lesson"!? That's probably the biggest asshole thing I've ever heard. All coming from a 24 yr old punk who wouldn't know his ass from his elbow...let alone how to treat a woman. * hand slapping forehead *

You can live in your parents basement and not have a single cent....but if you're cool, fun to be around and can fvck well, you're going to have all kinds of girls calling you. Those are the prerequisites !

Make sense now? I think you should fake not being a douche bag. Lol



Note: thread edited once I actually came to terms with how much of an ass you really are

[Wakeup]

To begin with, regardless of what the government says, the economy is still in the crapper, and jobs are still very scarce.

From what I gathered from your post, the reason you're single is that you're a vindictive asshole.

Oh how I laughed. lolzzz

[lalalita]

If you actually read my thread, I didn't say they were the tell of a good man, they are simply prerequisites to ANY relationship, or so I thought...

If a man (on Long Island) doesn't have a car, what on earth makes you think he'll be good in any other way. He's a obviously a loser. Look how fast that chick broke up with him when they were stranded, not even 24 hours LOLOLOL

No, they're not prerequisites of a relationship. I've dated a few men without cars, and I've been without a car and have had many people date me. One of the men without a car, was one of the most hard working men I have dated. He got his ass on the bus every day and went to work, then waited for the bus every night and got home very late and never complained about it. Not having a car does not make you "immobile", btw. There are loads of ways to get around besides having the luxury of a car. And yes, a car is a privilege not a right.

[masticate]

I don't think you're as evil as these people are making you out to be, but you might have a minor case of Elliot Rodger going on it seems.

Surely you're aware you don't deserve to be with any of the people you've screwed over though. And they can certainly tell other people about what you've done, and they have a right to judge you based on this. You can't hide from these facts of life.

I'll admit - it was funny, but it was certainly vindictive. There was no actual harm done and there was even a real lesson to be learned, even if it was sadistic and misapplied. If you treat people badly and with disrespect in life then you will not be able to get what you want out of them, and this is what is happening here, unless you care to explain something I've overlooked? That should be the real lesson, for everybody involved in your charade.

If you admit to this, then I personally think you can move on from it and try again, but you'll have to apply this reasoning to your worldview and change your approach or else the cycle will continue and you will have misery.

[Rowen]

"I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion." - Henry David Thoreau

^ This quote says it all. Status means nothing; if someone can make you happy and have a healthy relationship with you, it doesn't matter how much money they make. The only time it does is when the relationship isn't healthy (or, in other words, the partner is using you for money). And the pumpkins (in this case, the guys) can be just as good to the women as the velvet cushion (you).

[BeyondReason]

No, they're not prerequisites of a relationship. I've dated a few men without cars, and I've been without a car and have had many people date me. One of the men without a car, was one of the most hard working men I have dated. He got his ass on the bus every day and went to work, then waited for the bus every night and got home very late and never complained about it. Not having a car does not make you "immobile", btw. There are loads of ways to get around besides having the luxury of a car. And yes, a car is a privilege not a right.

There are no busses in Suffolk County, except for very explicit lines from the train station to landmarks and government buildings. On Long Island, you truly are immobile without a car. This would be akin to living in City (NYC) without busses and subways.

[dem862]

You sound a bit narcissistic. All those things you have won't get a you a real girlfriend. It might get you a gold digger. What really strikes a chord in the a heart of a woman is you are unselfish, kind, and attentive. Things which might truly be difficult for you to accomplish. A girlfriend worth having won't be interested in your gold, but in your heart of gold.

[BeyondReason]

The reason you don't get women is because you're an asshole.....you sure as shit showed it when you blew her off after she asked you to hang out.

Why would I have accepted her invitation, I don't need any more friends, and I'm certainly not going to date someone whose honor has been befouled by a loser.

- - - Updated - - -

You sound a bit narcissistic.

On the internet, yes, because it's anonymous. Do you really think I'd conduct and express myself in a such a manner in real life?

- - - Updated - - -

I don't think you're as evil as these people are making you out to be, but you might have a minor case of Elliot Rodger going on it seems.

Surely you're aware you don't deserve to be with any of the people you've screwed over though. And they can certainly tell other people about what you've done, and they have a right to judge you based on this. You can't hide from these facts of life.

I'll admit - it was funny, but it was certainly vindictive. There was no actual harm done and there was even a real lesson to be learned, even if it was sadistic and misapplied. If you treat people badly and with disrespect in life then you will not be able to get what you want out of them, and this is what is happening here, unless you care to explain something I've overlooked? That should be the real lesson, for everybody involved in your charade.

If you admit to this, then I personally think you can move on from it and try again, but you'll have to apply this reasoning to your worldview and change your approach or else the cycle will continue and you will have misery.

Trust me, I agree you just said, except for the misery part. This player was so embarrassed that when the story circulated that he had no money for a ride and made her pay for the taxi. It brought an abrupt end to his "moves" on all the girls at my job. He lost far more than I did, in fact, other than that particular girl, I don't seem to have damaged any other relationship thus far.

In fact most guys at my job hive-fived me, I crushed that punk.

[lalalita]

There are no busses in Suffolk County, except for very explicit lines from the train station to landmarks and government buildings. On Long Island, you truly are immobile without a car. This would be akin to living in City (NYC) without busses and subways.

There are bikes, scooters, and low and behold...your feet. Where there is a will, there is a way. I really dislike people who have the mindset that not having a car means not having a life.

But, either way, a man not having a car is not a deal breaker for me.