Boyfriend wants a gang bang.

[Shily666]

Im sorry but I don't buy it. Something about this whole thing makes me distrust your bf. I mean hes basically telling you to f**k other men when hes in oz. Thats him telling you he will be sleeping with other women. And a guy whose possessive and protective of his gf-cannot stand the thought of her being with someone else. Men who really love you and see you as "his" would beat the crap out of any guy that shags his girl..

He's not telling me to do it, he suggested it and I declined because I told him how I felt, and he says it's okay and that I don't have to do it. And no, he won't be sleeping with other women because that's not who he is. He's committed to me for life and he has no interest in other girls. And yes, he is possessive and protective, but I'm worse than he is but I still agree to it. Earlier today he suggested a FFM threesome and I semi agreed to it, and I'm possessive and protective of him. He enjoys thinking about me being dominated by him and another person and I'll enjoy the extra attention. When I asked him why he wanted another female with us, he say it was the same reason I wanted a MFM threesome (extra attention and he wants to see me be dominant). He does Love me and he does see me as his, he just wants to show off and prove to other men that I'm his.

I mean, I do understand why you'd think that way. Most people that I talk to about him think the same thing. But he and I are very committed to each other and we both trust each other, and I believe that that's all that matters.

[michelle23]

You said a minute ago hed never want a threesome with another girl and then he asks for one and you semi agree.. im sorry sweetie but your not a real sub. Your a doormat for him to use and take advantage of.

A real sub has more power than her dom because she sets the limits and boundaries. She is able to say no and he respects that. They agree on everything and ensure both always feel safe no matter what-and always have a safe word and once spoken-whatever you are doing in that moment stops.

The reality here is you are co-dependant. You are too afraid to say no encase you lose him. This relationship is not healthy and you cant trust this man.

A real dom would never ask his sub to give him permission to do whatever he wants. Thats taking advantage. He doesnt respect you. You are a toy to him.

I know that isnt what you want to hear and you will continue to defend him but before you do-i think you should sign up to a site with people who are experienced in these types of relationships and ask their advice. Tell them all the info you have given here. Being a sub is not about doing whatever he says. Its about respecting each others limits and trusting each other not to cross the line

[chinagirl]

He's not telling me to do it, he suggested it and I declined because I told him how I felt, and he says it's okay and that I don't have to do it. And no, he won't be sleeping with other women because that's not who he is. He's committed to me for life and he has no interest in other girls. And yes, he is possessive and protective, but I'm worse than he is but I still agree to it. Earlier today he suggested a FFM threesome and I semi agreed to it, and I'm possessive and protective of him. He enjoys thinking about me being dominated by him and another person and I'll enjoy the extra attention. When I asked him why he wanted another female with us, he say it was the same reason I wanted a MFM threesome (extra attention and he wants to see me be dominant). He does Love me and he does see me as his, he just wants to show off and prove to other men that I'm his.

I mean, I do understand why you'd think that way. Most people that I talk to about him think the same thing. But he and I are very committed to each other and we both trust each other, and I believe that that's all that matters.

After reading all your responses, my conclusion is that.... "Love is Blind."

[Wakeup]

I guess he asked again because I did show some interest and I told him he could do it if he wanted, it's his choice. He said I didn't have to if I didn't want it. I didn't exactly give him a straight answer, so I guess that's why he asked again to make sure.

Like I said, you'd say yes even if you didn't want to.

You told him you'd do it if he wanted... not because you wanted as well.

Why are you here asking a vanilla forum board to give advice/opinions on something that is NOT vanilla. You'd do well to go to a "loveshack" lifestyle kind of forum board to discuss this with those that find threesomes and BDSM and S and M the norm.

By some of the comments its obvious that you'd get better advise from those that actually know the lifestyle.

[chinagirl]

I mentioned earlier in my post that he would eventually suggest FFM and your response was...

No, he's not like that. He says he doesn't want to **** another girl unless I want him to, which I don't.

And now you're semi agreeing into it...
make up your mind girl.

[Shily666]

You said a minute ago hed never want a threesome with another girl and then he asks for one and you semi agree.. im sorry sweetie but your not a real sub. Your a doormat for him to use and take advantage of.

A real sub has more power than her dom because she sets the limits and boundaries. She is able to say no and he respects that. They agree on everything and ensure both always feel safe no matter what-and always have a safe word and once spoken-whatever you are doing in that moment stops.

The reality here is you are co-dependant. You are too afraid to say no encase you lose him. This relationship is not healthy and you cant trust this man.

A real dom would never ask his sub to give him permission to do whatever he wants. Thats taking advantage. He doesnt respect you. You are a toy to him.

I know that isnt what you want to hear and you will continue to defend him but before you do-i think you should sign up to a site with people who are experienced in these types of relationships and ask their advice. Tell them all the info you have given here. Being a sub is not about doing whatever he says. Its about respecting each others limits and trusting each other not to cross the line

I am not afraid to say no to him, I have said no to him before and he was okay with it. I thought I already stated this? And no, I am not afraid to lose him because we are committed to each other for life. And like I said, I have told him that he can do whatever he wants to me without my consent. I consider him a dom. I'm not a toy to him, I just allow him to do things to me because I'm okay with it. And we do respect each other, and if I don't like something, I will tell him. If you were in my shoes right now, you'd understand what I mean and understand that I really do Love him and really Loves me. My relationship is fine.

- - - Updated - - -

Like I said, you'd say yes even if you didn't want to.

You told him you'd do it if he wanted... not because you wanted as well.

Why are you here asking a vanilla forum board to give advice/opinions on something that is NOT vanilla. You'd do well to go to a "loveshack" lifestyle kind of forum board to discuss this with those that find threesomes and BDSM and S and M the norm.

By some of the comments its obvious that you'd get better advise from those that actually know the lifestyle.

I guess most people reading my thread don't understand. I'm not on here for advice, I'm here to see what people think of this because I'm curious.

- - - Updated - - -

I mentioned earlier in my post that he would eventually suggest FFM and your response was...



And now you're semi agreeing into it...
make up your mind girl.

Well, earlier today he mentioned that he wanted to try a threesome with another girl, and I thought about it, and since I do trust him, I'm allowing it. I changed my mind, basically.

[michelle23]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make her drink.. you sound brainwashed and deluded.. the fact you said "we are committed for life" makes my gag reflex spasm.. sorry but I would never commit to anyone for life. The only reason I would consider marriage is because divorce is legal.. your basically putting your life in his hands and giving him permission to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants without your consent-which I assume he will take full advantage of once back in oz and your basically saying no matter what-you will never leave him..

Thats co-dependancy at its finest. Some serious fifty shades stuff here. You sound just like anna (the co-dependant damsel in distress)

Im sorry for being mean to you but your setting yourself up for a fall here and hes going to destroy you

[Shily666]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make her drink.. you sound brainwashed and deluded.. the fact you said "we are committed for life" makes my gag reflex spasm.. sorry but I would never commit to anyone for life. The only reason I would consider marriage is because divorce is legal.. your basically putting your life in his hands and giving him permission to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants without your consent-which I assume he will take full advantage of once back in oz and your basically saying no matter what-you will never leave him..

Thats co-dependancy at its finest. Some serious fifty shades stuff here. You sound just like anna (the co-dependant damsel in distress)

Im sorry for being mean to you but your setting yourself up for a fall here and hes going to destroy you

I said I give him permission to do anything he wants TO ME, not to anyone else. He is not the player type at all. If you met him and talked with him, it would become obvious that he really is committed to me and prefers to be with me, and is not attracted any other woman. He's very loyal, trustworthy, and he's the sweetest guy I've ever met. I'm not blind at all. If he ever cheated on me, I would end it immediately, and I have told him this. He and I have promised each other that we will never cheat. He's a really good guy. You don't know about someone until you actually talk to them and get to know them. You can't just assume who they are.

[vashti]

I'm not on here for advice, I'm here to see what people think of this because I'm curious.

I think there is one of three conclusions to be drawn:

1) You are not very bright, and not very strong.
2) You've read the mind-numbingly stupid "50 Shades" books.
3) You are trolling.

[Shily666]

I think there is one of three conclusions to be drawn:

1) You are not very bright, and not very strong.
2) You've read the mind-numbingly stupid "50 Shades" books.
3) You are trolling.

I've never read 50 Shades of Grey, stop assuming ****.
No, I'm not trolling, so bugger off.

[masticate]

I think there is one of three conclusions to be drawn:

1) You are not very bright, and not very strong.
2) You've read the mind-numbingly stupid "50 Shades" books.
3) You are trolling.

terrible effort.

[HeartIsAching]

I'm thinking this is going to cause problems in your future relationship. He probably thinks he's alright with it now, but I'm predicting that once it happens he's going to regret it, and take it out on you - something that's far too easy for a dom to do in a BDSM relationship.

[michelle23]

Well good luck. Keep us updated. I hope it all works out for you. I just hope you respect yourself enough not to do anything your uncomfortable with just to keep him happy.. im with my bf 6years and if told me he wants a threesome-i would probably decide to end our relationship coz im a serial monogamist and proud. I wont change for anyone

[Wakeup]

What everyone isn't understanding here that she is a submissive. That is her sexual dynamic, her kink, her preference if you will. This is not something she will EVER regret because he is giving her what she craves. He's domineering and she is satisfied by being his submissive.

OP: Try a forum for alternate lifestyles and you'll get a whole lot more support from people who actually understand the dynamic of yours and your bf's relationship.

IMO: If you're happy then WTF does it matter what a forum full of vanilla wafers think about what you and your guy choose to do?

[smackie9]

he and I are very committed to each other and we both trust each other, and I believe that that's all that matters.

If this is true, then you don't need anyone's advice.