Continuation of selfies . .. ... .... ..... monogamy debunked

[smackie9]

I've come to the conclusion that you're basically a woman with a really big dick.

No I'm a guy with big tits! lol good guess tho...

[masticate]

Not at all. As a matter of fact, being in a relationship can sometimes make a person act or think irrationally, but only on a temporary basis. Any mature individual has the ability to go back to his/her senses and try to undo or rectify any irrational decisions/behavior made.

Just because you have a certain way of thinking or believing doesn't mean that we have to agree with you.

This is who you are, this is how you think and you have every right to believe that monogamy is irrational and/or immoral but we do not necessarily have to agree with you and that is why you are getting the kind of responses being thrown at you.

This post of yours, this was in response to a post of mine which actually said: "You don't have to agree or disagree; that isn't the point" right in the quote...

Why did you ignore that bit and carry on to tell me twice you don't have to agree with me, as if I was telling you that you do? Does that make sense? I'm sure you can see that it does not.

Whether or not you personally agree with me has no bearing on whether or not you're willing or able to make a logical argument pertaining to the subject... so it's not really relevant to have this discussion about "who agrees with whom" because again, that's not the point.


Now, Michelle has made a point - that my "refutation of monogamy" has violated a basic principal that most of you have chosen to live your lives by ... that's a sensible point to make: the fact that if I call monogamy irrational and immoral then it is equivalent to calling all of you irrational and immoral, but there is a more constructive way to respond than they way you have been. In fact, by getting upset over it and not addressing the points at all, the message you convey is I have in fact persuaded your logical side and your feeling side is rejecting the conclusion anyway which can be a great source of conflict.

I know this causes psychic conflict because I am watching my girlfriend struggle with it right now.

[chinagirl]

My logical and feeling side are still united and I feel no conflict at all.

Just talk to your GF about this because she was the source of all this monogamous/polyamory Non sense thread to begin with. And yeah, I can feel her struggle.

[smackie9]

nit·pick·ing
ˈnitˌpikiNG/
informal
adjective
noun: nitpicking; noun: nit-picking

1.
looking for small or unimportant errors or faults, especially in order to criticize unnecessarily.
"a nitpicking legalistic exercise"

noun
noun: nitpicking; plural noun: nitpickings; noun: nit-picking; plural noun: nit-pickings

1.
fussy fault-finding.
"nitpicking over tiny details"

[masticate]

My logical and feeling side are still united and I feel no conflict at all.

Just talk to your GF about this because she was the source of all this monogamous/polyamory Non sense thread to begin with. And yeah, I can feel her struggle.

It's not nonsense. I have rationalized it in perfectly clear terms, and so far all you've done to refute it is repeatedly call it nonsense and say you don't agree. If you told me what was nonsensical about it I could reevaluate and develop a more appropriate point of view but you're saying it's nonsensical because you don't agree which is not a very rational perspective.

It shows you're lacking the ability or willingness to think critically and detach your personal feelings from your logical reasoning.

[chinagirl]

Go back and re- read ALL my responses AGAIN.

[masticate]

Go back and re- read ALL my responses AGAIN.

I will do this for you as an exercise in good faith and will let you know as soon as I realize where I said something inaccurate regarding your involvement in this thread.

[chinagirl]

You don't have to do me that favor. As a matter of fact, I'm not even interested in your response. Just go back to Smackie's definition of nit picking.

[masticate]

Monogamy is only irrational if both parties do not believe in it.

And even if assuming what you say has validity that 50% of monogamous relationships are violated, there are also cases wherein the cheater, once forgiven by the partner, has never again engaged in any sexual activity outside the relationship. So, polyamory is not always the solution to a non monogamous relationship.

Interesting idea.

In my case, it's possible my girlfriend who has cheated, lied, and persisted, still believes in monogamy..... and myself, who has been forgiven and has not strayed again (such as in your example), does not.

- - - Updated - - -

You don't have to do me that favor. As a matter of fact, I'm not even interested in your response. Just go back to Smackie's definition of nit picking.

ah I see... it was a trick. Ok!

[michelle23]

You are not upsetting any of us. We really don't care. We don't have to justify our reasons for being monogamous to you.

This is another form of abuse on your part to manipulate and hurt your gf. She made a mistake-probably because you cheated on her, broke all her trust and she doesn't feel safe anymore. Instead of recognising that her emotional cheating is a symptom of needs that are not being met in your relationship-you dictate and tell her that from now on you can both do whatever you want. Shes struggling with this because this isn't what she wants. She wants emotional support, to feel loved, special, to trust you and feel safe knowing you wont hurt her. Since you violated all of that by cheating-she turned to another man for comfort and support

With all your intelligent fluff-you cannot see whats right in front of your eyes.

And going by your logic 50% are violated-what about the other 50% that are not?

[Valixy]

I disagree, Michele. He made mistakes at he beginning at the relationship but didn't repeat them. She was chatting to those guys for several months from the beginning of the relationship, so there weren't his infidelity attempts that provoked her behaviour. Besides she maintained sporadic contact with them over the years.

[masticate]

You are not upsetting any of us. We really don't care. We don't have to justify our reasons for being monogamous to you.

Nor have I asked you to, and that's what you don't understand. I believe I have logically debunked monogamy as immoral and irrational and you are mistaking that for something different - i.e. me telling you that you need to justify your feelings. If you made an effort to prove me wrong logically I would entertain it but continually reiterating that you're monogamous and that's how you like it is sort of worthless.

This is another form of abuse on your part to manipulate and hurt your gf. She made a mistake-probably because you cheated on her, broke all her trust and she doesn't feel safe anymore. Instead of recognising that her emotional cheating is a symptom of needs that are not being met in your relationship-you dictate and tell her that from now on you can both do whatever you want. Shes struggling with this because this isn't what she wants. She wants emotional support, to feel loved, special, to trust you and feel safe knowing you wont hurt her. Since you violated all of that by cheating-she turned to another man for comfort and support

This is possible except that you are overlooking the hard reality that I am not dictating anything and I am simply exercising my right to not commit to monogamy if I don't believe it's moral. I am not dragging her into it, in fact, what you aren't aware of is that I am perpetually trying to explain to her that I know she's lying to me to keep me around. It might be desperate, but it's still manipulation. I am the one being straightforward.... it's just a hard idea that people don't like.

This is another form of abuse on your part to manipulate and hurt your gf. She made a mistake-probably because you cheated on her, broke all her trust and she doesn't feel safe anymore. Instead of recognising that her emotional cheating is a symptom of needs that are not being met in your relationship-you dictate and tell her that from now on you can both do whatever you want.

Valixy has done a fine job of addressing this with a clear head so I will not say a thing.

With all your intelligent fluff-you cannot see whats right in front of your eyes.

Non-sequitur.

And going by your logic 50% are violated-what about the other 50% that are not?

Irrational and immoral... shackles worn by weak people too weak to break them.

It contributes to long-term emotional infidelity and resentment... people begin to hate their partners for shackling them... people lose their sense of integrity

[KingZ]

I believe I have logically debunked monogamy as immoral and irrational

Idiot. You can't "believe" you've logically falsified something. It's either proven or it isn't. You're either asserting or you aren't.

Besides, what may not work for you might work perfectly well for someone else. Find some grieving old man who had been happily married for 50 years before his wife died and try telling him that it's ok, because marriage is an illogical, irrational, sexist institution and he was in shackles the entire time.

[masticate]

Idiot. You can't "believe" you've logically falsified something. It's either proven or it isn't. You're either asserting or you aren't.

Besides, what may not work for you might work perfectly well for someone else. Find some grieving old man who had been happily married for 50 years before his wife died and try telling him that it's ok, because marriage is an illogical, irrational, sexist institution and he was in shackles the entire time.

I don't claim to have falsified it so much as debunked it as and immoral and irrational way of life, friend.

Perhaps the grieving old man grieves because he knows it's too late.

[KingZ]

I don't claim to have falsified it so much as debunked it as and immoral and irrational way of life, friend.

debunk: v. expose the falseness or hollowness of

So, yes, that's exactly what you're claiming. If you really think you've debunked anything, you're a fu​cking tool.