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Thread: is she interested?

  1. #1
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    is she interested?

    First off, I cannot believe I'm typing this all out again after the forum refreshed and deleted my almost completed post but I digress.
    For anyone willing and patient enough to read through and perhaps assist me in my dilemma I am very appreciative.

    I'll jump straight in, I need a woman's perspective.

    I met a very lovely girl. Asked her for her number and for almost two weeks we have been chatting a lot.
    We haven't met up because we have both been busy and live about 30 miles apart.
    She seems to like me and we get along great.

    My problem is this.
    I asked her on a date, and she responded along the lines of "I feel like I'm being an asshole for saying this but I like you and would love to go out on a date but first I want to finish up my college and get a job.
    I was understanding as she seems to be an independent type of woman, I like that, though I'll confess I'm a bit of a romantic.

    The day before college finished up (yesterday) I prompted agai but she responded that she wants to sort things out first but maintains she really likes me and does want to go out on a date.
    I tactfully and non imposingly questioned when this would be, the response was essentially that she had no specific time frame, in fact I got the impression it could be as long as months.

    I'm not an impatient man, but I work with a different mind set, I take the good things in life when they are there and leave nothing to the cruel mistress of time and fate.

    When I realised it might be so long my initial and persisting thought is that she can't be that interested then if she is holding off dating simply because she wants to get a part time extra cash job at some cafe or wherever.
    I communicated that I did not want to be strung along and felt that by waiting months for one date, that was exactly what was happening. I said good luck and take care, she seemed genuinely upset but respected my wishes. She said it was unfortunate timing and wished she could have got to know me better. The romantic in me caved, to both her seemingly genuine words and her adorable smile. I have continued contact without pressing the matter and am trying to distance myself but I have always worn my heart on my sleeve, with every video call and phone call I find myself thinking about her while at work or on the run. I just don't want to be strung along and unintentionally fall a bit harder that I mean to, I find it hard to swallow that a girl with genuine interest towards me would stave off dating because of a part time cash on the side job?

    Anyone with any relevant advice or similar experiences? Or any woman here who has been in her shoes and can explain to me? Or perhaps I am being strung along, and need another perspective to confirm? Regardless any input is greatly appreciated...and here she is calling now, ha, boy what a sap I must be. Thank you for your time. Sorry for yapping your ear off!

  2. #2
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    Is this a long distance relationship?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Anyways, if I were you I would just move on. If one day she says I'll take you up on that date then fine, but never ever "wait" for someone. You make sure you let her know that you will be dating other girls. She needs to know she can't string you along, or use you for attention. You don't want to come off as a sappy shelp following her around, lost in hope.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    Is this a long distance relationship?
    Nah its not. She lives a little bit away but its an easily doable distance, under an hour drive. I appreciate your advice but I'm not asking what I should do. I've had my fair share of heart break and experience. I'm trying to assertain her intentions, I will gauge for myself from those intentions what course I will take.

    Thanks for your time though!

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    It doesnt really matter what her intentions are. If she really liked you she would have went out with you yesterday. You shouldnt wait around for anyone. Youll be over her in a week if you just cut contact and meet someone else-someone available who doesnt have a load of excuses not to go out with you.

    Just make sure you dont end up friendzoned coz she will then start telling you about some other guy she has a crush on..
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

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    I think she has someone else.

  6. #6
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    If a girl has a real interest she never give excuses not to see you. Here is a tip: go by their actions and not by what they tell you. So far she is showing no actual intention to be with you.

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    Thank you for your advice smackie I appreciate it. I have an updated post on this matter in a different forum, the love advice forum. There has been significant updates

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    sounds like creative rejection to me

  9. #9
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    Smackie's post made the most sense to me. I'd just move on. Don't let this grl keep u on a string until it's convenient for her. It's so unfair!

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    If a girl has a real interest she never give excuses not to see you. Here is a tip: go by their actions and not by what they tell you. So far she is showing no actual intention to be with you.
    This^. Busy professionals, execs... can find time to date. She's not that into you.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  11. #11
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    I'm under the impression she is perhaps unintentionally stringing you along. Maybe she likes you, but she doesn't like you enough to date you right now. If she met someone she really liked, she would make it work.

  12. #12
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    I think she is trying to be kind and not hurt your feelings by stalling all the time. I don't think she wants to meet again, but I don't think she wants to hurt you and doesn't know how to let you down easily. She is hoping you will get annoyed with waiting and just go away. Move on. She is not the one.

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