Trouble with my girlfriend, please help!

[TheSoulReaver03]

I've been together with her since the 1st of May. She's 19, I'm 17. This is my 1st relationship, and the 3rd for her. When we got together I didn't care about anything else but her. I was madly in love and whenever we kissed I felt really hard to hold back. I thought to myself that she's the best girl I could ever meet despite this being my first relationship, and that's true to be honest. She also told me that I'm the best she's ever had, which I find hard to believe sometimes.

We've told each other everything about our lives, even our most feared secrets. I've literally spent 28 days out of our first 30 with her every day till 7PM.

I was hanging out with her once and all of the sudden, while we were in the middle of a conversation I suddenly felt like I'm in a dream/movie and I did not feel close to her anymore. She looked like a stranger. I was so scared. From then on stressed about it 24/7. I worried that we were going to break up for some unknown reason, that I was falling out of love, that I could not connect with her anymore or what not. The more I worried about it the worse it got.

In addition to all of this, I was not sleeping, having panic attacks, for no apparent reason. I felt like a completely different person. I didn't enjoy much anymore and I just wanted to cry and be alone.

It comes in waves, I will feel like my girlfriend and I don't connect, don't work, like everything he does annoys me, and that I must have to break up with him, but when it gets all clear for I while I change my mind. Everything will be cloudy and I won't sleep well and feel incredibly unsettled. Then I usually feel incredibly overwhelmed and cry and freak out. Usually after that it is like someone takes my blinders off and I can see clearly, like everything is okay and I'm just causing problems. I feel all of my love for him, I feel connected with him, and life other than that usually makes sense.

I am just so confused. Is this depression messing with my head? How do I fight it? Or am I just fighting my true feelings? Sometimes I will just wake up with this insanely unsettling feeling and not know why. I don't know what to do. The idea of not being with her breaks my heart. I know that we won't be together forever. I know that we are young. But I don't think that means that I should not treat this like a real relationship... So please, just give me your opinions about what the heck is going on in my head. I am currently in a "bad" state.

[smackie9]

You spend too much time together, and you are on over load. You have neglected your friends, and activities that made who you are.....now you have lost yourself.

Step one, give each other space. Spends a few days doing your own thing with your friends.

Step two, set boundaries. Place a limit on how much texting, calling, messaging or posting on social media with each other.

Step three, learn to miss each other. As they say distance helps the heart grow fonder. Give a day when you focus on you and only you.

Step four, hang out in a group with other couples or friends. Having other around works as a good buffer to prevent being too absorbed in your GF.

Step five, communication. You must express to her how you are feeling and what you are willing to do to make this work for the both of you. Talking this out will make you feel 100% better, calming your worries, clearing your head, and giving you the ability to handle it in a constructive way.

[woody]

Dear O.P

If you are struggling with depression this could definitely be playing a role in the roller coaster ride you be going through. OR, it could be, even though this person is great and you've shared many good times, granted, in a short while, maybe something is trying to tell you its not the right match. Apologies on that. No one wants to hear that but it does happen.
If your losing sleep and having panic attacks I suggest seeing a Dr about possible therapies or meds if there is in fact a chemical imbalance going on in your brain. This is nothing to be ashamed of; many of us have dealt with depression due to a traumatic event or genetics.

You say it was really good between you both in the beginning? Well, it usually is when couples are just starting out. Its what happens after the so called Honeymoon stage that shows us just how compatible two can become. Don't beat yourself up over this; and for goodness sake, address the depression because that will affect everything else. Could be a round of meds for a brief time could heal you right up.. Again, suggest seeing a Dr.

We need our sleep and remember, if you don't work, nothing does.

[TheSoulReaver03]

Thank you so much, both of you. You really helped me!

- - - Updated - - -

Dear O.P

If you are struggling with depression this could definitely be playing a role in the roller coaster ride you be going through. OR, it could be, even though this person is great and you've shared many good times, granted, in a short while, maybe something is trying to tell you its not the right match. Apologies on that. No one wants to hear that but it does happen.
If your losing sleep and having panic attacks I suggest seeing a Dr about possible therapies or meds if there is in fact a chemical imbalance going on in your brain. This is nothing to be ashamed of; many of us have dealt with depression due to a traumatic event or genetics.

You say it was really good between you both in the beginning? Well, it usually is when couples are just starting out. Its what happens after the so called Honeymoon stage that shows us just how compatible two can become. Don't beat yourself up over this; and for goodness sake, address the depression because that will affect everything else. Could be a round of meds for a brief time could heal you right up.. Again, suggest seeing a Dr.

We need our sleep and remember, if you don't work, nothing does.

But what should I tell my doctor exactly? I think he'd send me out of the office right away saying I'm just inventing it or something.

[TheSoulReaver03]

Right now it feels like I have no self-esteem whatsoever and have really lost myself. Whatever I'M doing I'm always thinking what she might be thinking of what I'm doing or think of me...it feels like I'M not myself whenever I'm with her, but this also comes in waves. Any suggestions?

[woody]

Do you feel like yourself when your not with her?

[TheSoulReaver03]

To be honest, no...not really. Sometimes I feel pretty good, even with her, and then it goes away slowly...

[michelle23]

This is not a normal reaction to being in love. Did you suffer with depression or anxiety before meeting her? Maybe you should see a counselor to help you deal with all this.

[TheSoulReaver03]

All I know for sure is that I love her and don't want to let her go.
I was going through a lot of mental terror and fighting in elementary. I was always the odd one out. Right then I felt like nobody likes me, or if there are ones who like me are just as weak and pathetic as I am.
But she's been through a rough childhood as well and has no such problems...so I can't really blame it on that can I?

[smackie9]

I think if you just keep talking it out, you will feel better. This is something over time will dissipate anyways, just have to keep positive and keep busy with positive things like playing a sport with friends. Do you have any friends that you hang out with?

[TheSoulReaver03]

I used to go out with my brother and his GF, but their relationship is dying, so not really anymore.
Could it be that I'm just too absorbed in her? I hate to say this, but sometimes I can't stop thinking about her and getting sick of her.
Sometimes it's like I forget who she really is, forget her personality, or feel like we don't really connect. Sometimes I feel like she's tiring, and after that I feel guilt.

When I got together with her hanging out with our little group came to an end because the singles in there got butthurt about us having girldriends (at least that's the way I figure it).

[Carlos1994]

this is just knowledge from what i know about my friends relationships.. I have never seen a relationship last when the couple spend pretty much every second with each other because i think you lose that buzz of being with that person you love and it feels like it just becomes normality so you start to forget them feelings..

Im talking to this girl and we both like each other but we arent together... Ive only seen her about 3 times over the past 3 weeks..(not saying you should see her as little as that just an example) but every time i do see her i literally have never felt happier which is probally how you felt when you first started seeing your girlfriend. I think you lose that excitement to see someone you like when you are constantly with each other

[Mattiemae]

There really has to be a balance in how much time you spend together. Three times in three weeks is not that much. It can also show you're not interested. I can see your point, but you can simply lose interest if you don't feel a person is interested in you.

[Carlos1994]

There really has to be a balance in how much time you spend together. Three times in three weeks is not that much. It can also show you're not interested. I can see your point, but you can simply lose interest if you don't feel a person is interested in you.

i know its not alot but past few weeks theres been exams etc so obv dont want to be a distraction