Questions on dating from a female perspective! (multiple questions and help needed)

[Jimlin000]

So I've made a similar post to this, but I wanted to strictly try and get more female opinions on this. Do you think a guy should always use the word "date" to ask a girl out to avoid confusion? Can you spend time (like a dinner and movie) with a girl one on one and not consider it a date? (I'm in a relationship right now with a beautiful and have female friends, so I'm kind of iffy about spending time with girls one-on-one for dinner, or a movie, and having them think it's a date) What do you think? Doe sit kind of scare you when a guy uses the word "date"?

[Belleann]

The word "date" doesn't scare me because for me, it's just a casual relationship, occasional dinner, movie, sex if the chemistry's there with no strings attached but by no means to me does it mean "relationship" as in I'm strictly yours and you're strictly mine. For me to have the girlfriend title that would have been made crystal clear. At that point I would classify it as a relationship which obviously monogamy is [URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1]#1[/URL] priority.

[smackie9]

I know what you are asking and it's not appropriate to hang out with or do one on one activities with female friends when in a relationship. How you spend time with others must change to "respect" your partner and the relationship. This is the whole deal with having someone in your life...they are the one you confide in, the one you come to for support, the one you spend time with, they are your priority. It's called relationship boundaries. Set these with your GF so there isn't any confusion.....also this will prevent any future fights. You both need to be on the same page as to what is acceptable and what is not.

[Darrow]

Depends on the person I honestly think? Sometimes you just know what you're getting into.

Very seldom could I honestly see you needing to clarify what is and isnt a date?

[Jimlin000]

The thing is that we've already talked about it, and she's okay if I hang out with my female friends one-on-one because she knows I wouldn't do anything to go in "that" direction with them. So the point of this question is mainly: If I ask a girl to a one-on-one outing without using the word "date" (for example, a movie, dinner, or some other fun activity), would they still get the wrong idea on if it's a date or not? I know it depends on the person, but I think it's really stupid how people assume things like that (guys and girls alike) when it's not specified, especially if one of them says "hang out", then the other person still assumes it's a date... To me, the best answer would be to just tell them that "hey, it's a friend thing", but I wanted to hear some opinions on this topic overall.

[lalalita]

Um, you're living in a dream world if you think your friendships are 100% platonic if you need to clarify whether hanging out could be misconstrued as a date.

If you've had these female "friends" for a long time, and they're close enough friends where you would even consider doing one on one activities with them, why in the world would they think it's a date!?

You're lying to yourself.

[Jimlin000]

So, let me get this straight, you're telling me that you can't make new friends of the opposite sex and go hang out and do something fun together for a nice laugh or two? Do you realize how dumb that sounds? What kind of world do you live in? Yes, if I had female friends who I've known for a very long time as friends, there's no reason for them to think that it's a date when we go do a one-on-one outing. That's common sense, but with all the assumptions I've heard about people making from friends, seen on the internet, and from personal experience, it's very possible to go and hang out with a friend for the first time of the opposite sex and have it be misinterpreted as a date. What I'm asking is would you ladies prefer that we gentlemen make it clear what our intentions are from the get go? Do you really think that every time you go on a one-on-one outing with a guy you met recently, it's automatically a date?

[Wakeup]

so I'm kind of iffy about spending time with girls one-on-one for dinner, or a movie,

You should stop doing this kind of thing when you have a girlfriend, a live-in partner or a wife. You are opening yourself up to unintentional emotional affairs when you go on one-on-one date like activities with members of the opposite sex

It's common practice to stop acting single when you're in a committed relationship and to stop putting yourself in the company of other women without your SO joining you.

[lalalita]

So, let me get this straight, you're telling me that you can't make new friends of the opposite sex and go hang out and do something fun together for a nice laugh or two? Do you realize how dumb that sounds? What kind of world do you live in? Yes, if I had female friends who I've known for a very long time as friends, there's no reason for them to think that it's a date when we go do a one-on-one outing. That's common sense, but with all the assumptions I've heard about people making from friends, seen on the internet, and from personal experience, it's very possible to go and hang out with a friend for the first time of the opposite sex and have it be misinterpreted as a date. What I'm asking is would you ladies prefer that we gentlemen make it clear what our intentions are from the get go? Do you really think that every time you go on a one-on-one outing with a guy you met recently, it's automatically a date?

I live in a world where one on one male/female activities are reserved for relationships. Plain and simple. I would not be with a man who thought it was acceptable to go out and do things that "may be misinterpreted" as a date with the sex they are attracted to. Are you kidding?

If I were single, I would also not go out and do one on one things with a male who had a girlfriend. That's weird.

[Jimlin000]

In a four year LDR... but thanks for mentioning she should join in with us. I really wish she could... After this summer is over I won't see her for who knows how long in person and be able to spend time with her in person doing fun activities.

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Sorry, but I think you're living a pretty strange world then from my experiences. For the record, I'm pretty sure this is all just opinionated and not really worth getting worked up about (if you are, I can't tell). If a guy asked you to a movie and dinner without putting a label on it, you wouldn't know if they had a gf in the first place. This just tied back into whether you ladies would like us to be clear. Maybe it really just has to do with the age group? Why do you think it's odd to spend time with a guy who has a gf one-on-one, if they don't even mean for it to be that way? There is a huge difference between dating and being friendly after all.

[lalalita]

In a four year LDR... but thanks for mentioning she should join in with us. I really wish she could... After this summer is over I won't see her for who knows how long in person and be able to spend time with her in person doing fun activities.

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Sorry, but I think you're living a pretty strange world then from my experiences. For the record, I'm pretty sure this is all just opinionated and not really worth getting worked up about (if you are, I can't tell). If a guy asked you to a movie and dinner without putting a label on it, you wouldn't know if they had a gf in the first place. This just tied back into whether you ladies would like us to be clear. Maybe it really just has to do with the age group? Why do you think it's odd to spend time with a guy who has a gf one-on-one, if they don't even mean for it to be that way? There is a huge difference between dating and being friendly after all.

If a guy asked me to a movie and dinner, if I were single, I would assume it was because he was interested in me. I would never think that a man in a committed relationship would seek me out as a new person in his life. I would be very wary of a man who approached me to do such things and then told me he has a girlfriend, that it wasn't a date. Those are date things. If I met a man with a girlfriend and he really thought I was so great that he wanted to just be my friend, I would assume I would be hanging out with him AND his girlfriend and she would become my friend too.

Ah ha. It's long distance. That explains why you want the company of other women.

And I'm not heated at all.

Also, what do you mean by age group? I'm in my late twenties and I've heard this opinion in my age group as well as younger/older.

[Jimlin000]

Okay, that's not fair. You can't sit there and act like "oh, he's going to seek and find someone else" when you don't even know how I am in person. :/ I've had a lot of friends of both sexes and don't think of one on one outings as any more than just friendship a lot of the time, and it seems like that's how it is with my female friends as well. (which I'm grateful for) See, that's what I don't like about your guys' posts. You make out like I'm the bad guy here trying to find "other women" or something, when I'm not like that at all. It's dumb that I would even have to post a message like this to justify myself. I'm not that kind of trashy, low standard, and foolish guy to go out and play around like that. I simply like searching for friendship, period. I don't know why you would have to assume that I'm going in that direction. You've got it all wrong... You don't have to terrorize me with negative assumptions... Wow... (disgusting ones at that)

[dontaskme]

How close are you with this girl that you want to go out "one on one" with?

[Wakeup]

Can I ask why it is you want to be a A MALE GIRLFRIEND so badly?

[Jimlin000]

How close are you with this girl that you want to go out "one on one" with?

There are none in particular, it's just a general question. I'm not saying if I hang out with this or that specific female friend, it's more like, if I hang out with any female friend on a one-on-one outing question. I hope that makes sense. :S

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Can I ask why it is you want to be a A MALE GIRLFRIEND so badly?

I don't. :/ It's a normal thing for me to have friends of both sexes and hanging out with them. So as for future reference, I'm wondering that IF I happen to end up going on a one-on-one outing with a female friend, if there's a solid way I could prevent them from getting the wrong idea... I am not going out of my way to hang out with female friends one-on-one, but it doesn't mean it won't happen on rare occasions.