I know I'm needy but hope I've done right thing

[Confused1234500]

I posted about this situation earlier but would love men's perspectives. Dating a guy 6 weeks, I'm 37 he's 24. Saw him only 4 nights due to his commitments (in a bike club and has to be there a lot).
So sweet when with me and few days ago text loves me. When together was perfect.
I said didn't just want a sex buddy and he said he doesn't but sex helps him get close, wanting pics etc. made a date for mon and I asked to let me know if coming or not and didn't reply. Got ready incase and no show. Text to say didn't understand why couldn't let me know and nothing so later said can't do this and he just messaged 'ok'. Ended up saying why I felt so bad, waited to know, got ready etc and no show and still didn't answer when I messaged. He replied he didn't have time to read my 'essay'. Later messaged saying he didn't have his phone on him but I had seen he had been on numerous times (whatsapp). Is this normal for men?

[Lord Darkshire]

No it's not, but it's normal behaviour for someone who has no real interest in you.

He's 24 for heaven sakes, he's young, active and horny. I doubt he sees having any furture with you.

Sorry but I have to point out you are not being realistic here. You are 37, if you want someone to share your life with, find someone more age appropriate.

[Confused1234500]

I thought that but he pursued me initially, seemed mature (I know 40 yr olds who act like a kid) and totally made me think he really did want more. I know ur right tho. Just if he just wanted sex why didn't he come over more often and he did come over after work last time and didn't have sex ...I think I'm just too gullible and can't believe ppl can look you in the eye and pretend so easily (tho I should, happened before)

[nico88]

It's not normal for a guy who has real interest in you but it is normal for a guy who is looking for no strings attached sex.

I wouldn't waste my time with him anymore. Go find someone who is looking for the same thing you are.

[Confused1234500]

I know I'm gullible but he just seemed different to its 24 year olds and so genuine about things. Keep beating myself up that I should have played it cooler, not got uptight when broke plans etc cz acted too needy too soon. Head tells me I've done the right thing but I'm doubting myself all the time

[smackie9]

Tip: go by their actions not what they tell you.

- - - Updated - - -

btw it wouldn't have mattered if you played it cooler, you would have ended up with the same results. Get it through your head it is what it is, he played you.

Manogany before sex. Keep your legs closed and observe how they treat you. Waiting is key.

[lalalita]

Run away screaming.

[Confused1234500]

Thanks I know it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself it's different but I always have the tendency to think what if I'd done things different and what if I'd waited because of how honest and genuine he seemed. I keep doubting my own actions and wishing I'd done things different but actually hearing everyone say I got him wrong and did the right thing helps because I just need that drummed into my head lol. He's had 2 long term relationships before and I keep asking myself what's wrong with me, kept saying how lucky he was when with me and I go between beating myself up, feeling angry at him and then at myself. I'm a single mum and work full time so don't get out much and think I just focused too much on him and got way too close too soon but initially I tried not to but he made me think he was different. Ugh wish I'd run away screaming before we ever met up lol

[billion21]

I've been there.

Dating a guy 25 when I was 35.

We did go out for over a year together, but in the end, the needs are REALLY different.

The maturity isn't there.

Switch your mind for the next days on another focus and DO FORGET HIM.

Him saying he doesn't have time to read your essay is enough to not continue even speaking to him.

Seriously, take my word on it, have respect for yourself and appreciate the fact that you have spent great moments with him.
But do not expect more.

[Confused1234500]

I know ur right and Thanku. Thing is I doubt myself such a lot. I've always been in serious relationships until 2 years ago and then spent longest time single ever. Wanted to be on my own but got lonely so got into Internet sex with ppl and think it's made me not know what's normal to expect from a man now. Have a long history of mood instability and have just started counselling for alcohol use. I kept thinking I was overreacting because I don't trust my own judgements. My ex husband cheated and lied for 6 years so I tend to overreact and blame myself and think things are my fault. Not a pity partyI know that's what it sounds like I'm just trying to explain.