+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Update and even more confused

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    21

    Update and even more confused

    Ok boy mentioned before got back in touch (like nothing happened). Been in an accident but wants see me once on his feet.
    Asked if I missed him and admitted he was 'horny' so I made a joke that he just want a f*** and he replied just an excuse to see me again. Called his bluff and said just come for a cuppa and chat then and he said he wants to?
    Said something about missing my company and I told him he was talking with his (privates lol) and he replied 'probably but you want it' (sounded pissed off a bit I'd said that tho?)
    I said I assume he wants to be f buddies and he replied he wants to be friends with benefits (apparently we r friends first).
    I said first rule of friendship is no bull so no more saying he's falling for me to get me on by back but he replies he was falling for me (not lying about it).
    Seems like mixed messages and dnt know what to think
    Last edited by Confused1234500; 03-07-14 at 01:15 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    1,072
    Hmmm...yeah your instincts are right. Sounds like he just wants a F*** Buddy. If that's not what you want, then don't get involved with him sexually. Just be his friend.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    What do you want with him? First figure out the answer to that and then ask for it.
    If he doesn't agree then why would you settle for something less then what you actually want? (Hint: Don't fool yourself into thinking that you'll be anymore then a **** buddy with this guy no matter what he says about having more for you. His actions clearly tell you that you'll do for sex but not much more and his little chit chat above went right to the talk about ****ing which you quickly fell into. He knows you're easy pickings so he's on the pursuit to get his nut.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Adding: This is like your gazzillionth thread about this guy. He's not going to be a loving and attentive boyfriend so please step yourself away from him and stop playing sexual coy word games with him.
    You're telling him that you're willing to be his warm wet place to masturbate into and with all the threads its obvious that you'd want to be more then a sex buddy where he disappears on you until he wants more.

    Get it?

    There is NOTHING confusing about it. He's fond of you; You're good for a fk but don't expect him to be your boyfriend. Don't bother trying to just be his friend. He'll have your pants talked off faster then grease goes through a goose and you'll be "shredded" when you give him sex and it doesn't turn into a relationship.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 03-07-14 at 04:00 AM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    590
    Isn't friends with benefits just another term for **** buddies? So he agreed with you that is what he wants.
    It's not what you have, it's what you do with what you have that matters.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    Quote Originally Posted by anya_may21 View Post
    Isn't friends with benefits just another term for **** buddies? So he agreed with you that is what he wants.
    Fk buddies: You meet up periodically for sex and then you don't have much else to do with one another until next time the one calling all the shots wants to get laid again. Op isn't the type to be calling all the shots. Don't expect it to turn into a relationship.

    Friends with Benefits: You actually do "friend" things with one another, hang out do all the things you did when you were actually friends but now you screw one another when both of you feel like it. The key here is that for it to be "friends" with benefits, you actually have to have been real friends before you started effing one another. I don't think op and this twit she's on about were ever friends prior to him trying to turn it into a uncommitted screwcapades. Oh and if he actually wanted any kind of COMMITTED relationship with her, he wouldn't propose something uncommitted.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    590
    So **** buddies aren't friends too, they are usually strangers?

    It sounds like people ****ing their friends to me on both. Only one way makes the other person feel more important then the other does.

    I don't do either so wouldn't know the semantics of it, other than reading your definitions above.

    Either way, if you want so much more and the **** buddy doesn't, you'll get hurt and you spent all that time giving him sex.
    It's not what you have, it's what you do with what you have that matters.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    Quote Originally Posted by anya_may21 View Post
    So **** buddies aren't friends too, they are usually strangers?
    they can be someone you know but you just meet up to have sex and don't do much else with one another but have small talk before the deed and a little after you're done.

    It sounds like people ****ing their friends to me on both
    That's not what the description implies so I'm not sure why you think that?

    . Only one way makes the other person feel more important then the other does.
    One is more important then the other is IF (big if) they were actually proper friends before the benefits started taking place.

    I don't do either so wouldn't know the semantics of it, other than reading your definitions above.
    Good for you. It helps your romantic life if you actually have some goals and convictions and personal boundaries that you won't cross or let anyone else cross either.

    Either way, if you want so much more and the **** buddy doesn't, you'll get hurt and you spent all that time giving him sex.
    There indeed is the "rub." Hopefully Op starts being "unconfused" because she's been advised about this kind of things many times now but keeps asking the same questions and making the same mistakes. Why? I don't know.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    590
    "That's not what the description implies so I'm not sure why you think that?"

    I probably got confused too, lol I am on cold medications so my head is foggy. Can't wrap my brain around it, the whole fwb and ****buddy concept..

    I think she might love him and love makes us think and do and want unreasonable things for us at times. That's my guess.
    It's not what you have, it's what you do with what you have that matters.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    7,055
    I really have to echo Wakeup. What I noticed most about all this was your behaviour. The innuendos and sexy word games, calling his bluff, etc. Not cool.

    If you want him to be straight with you, then stop playing games with him.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

Similar Threads

  1. Update: Still the Same Games and Still Confused
    By ladyluck87 in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 24-06-13, 05:46 PM
  2. Update
    By squirrley in forum Off Topic Discussion
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 11-04-08, 12:08 AM
  3. update 3
    By anachronistic in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 23-03-07, 12:36 AM
  4. an update
    By angelbaby011604 in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 04-11-05, 03:04 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •