Considering a marriage contract

[2bealive]

Help! Married for 11 yrs. it was impulsive and my first ever, we did it quick with no family or friends because we thought we were "in love forever and ever" Have 5 children now in a blended family. The relationship is very dysfunctional and co-dependent. There is a lot of emotional abuse and control from him, he gets paranoid and jealous and hates my friends. He has addictions ( sexually seeking attention from other women via internet/sexting also substance abuse) issues we have been trying to overcome. I recently initiated a separation because we were hurting the kids with our constant conflict but he fell apart.. made subtle threats of self harm and used the kids emotions to get to me and take him back. I was planning our separation to last about 6 months so we could both have time to get ourselves healthy again but he made it too difficult with his threats and manipulation. I want to come up with a contract of reconciliation. What kind of things should be in it? I now see the purpose of prenuptial agreements and lawyers when people get married but we never did that because we thought "forever meant forever".. I wish we would have now. I personally think in our contract or conditions of working things out there should also be a seperation/divorce agreement if "working it out" continues to be damaging to all involved.

Full disclosure, I have felt in danger and felt the kids were in danger. I have the paperwork for a no contact order and domestic violence has been a problem in the past. He has never physically hurt except arm grabbing and intimidation but I know that he could easily escalate.

[lost_man]

Forget the halfway house solution. He is an abusive manipulative nutcase. Move out while he's out one day, issue divorce proceedings and seek professional advice beforehand on how to do it all while keeping yourself and your children safe. Sorry I just can't entertain a thing else, the quicker you move on the quicker you can build the healthy life you deserve.