Boyfriend's sexual past?

[williamsapril48]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and everything is going fantastic. We've never had any major issues and we love each other very much. Then only problem is that I lost my virginity to him. He, however, lost his to a girl he dated for about two years. I've had five boyfriends including him but none of them lasted very long and I'm having a hard time getting over the fact that 1. He was my first but I wasn't his and 2. He was in love with his ex. He is my first love. Any advice on how I can look past this? It's really been bothering me lately. Thanks.

[lalalita]

I'd say you're lucky that you're boyfriend has only been with one other person besides you. Most men have been with more, and most men will not share how many that is. Everyone has a past. You've probably done sexual things with other people, too. It has nothing to do with you. He's yours now. Block the thoughts, they are nothing but bad for you.

[williamsapril48]

Wow that was quick! Thanks. And you're right, I have done sexual things with other people but they didn't mean anything. I wasn't in love with any of those guys and I think that's my problem. I can't get over my bfs past love. The fact that everything we've shared together (the first time we said we loved each other, talking about our future, etc.) He's already done with someone else. And I know that doesn't make our love any less, but I can't help feeling that it does. What if he's secretly comparing our love to his previous love?

[lalalita]

Do you know the circumstances as to why they aren't together anymore?

[anya_may21]

We can all mirror the sexual past of our partners, one will always have more or less involved, more loves, less loves.

If they love only you now, then the past ones do not matter, imo.

[Lucinda]

Though my situation is a little different to yours in the sense that my boyfriend never loved his ex, I would say I'm quite a jealous person and I've overlooked his past now because it really is as simple as it sounds: he is with me now just as your boyfriend is with you now. If you really feel that it is still bothering you, try talking about it to him, but explain it in a way that he'll understand, keep a calm tone and simply communicate! Communication is key

[Korder]

Not to mention, that for different people the concept of "love" may mean different things. So it is not at all nesessary that he shared completely the same experience with his ex.

[Wakeup]

What a waste of a time. You are ruining your time with him by focusing on a ghost from HIS past. Put the focus on you and how well he treats you and how he shows you that he loves YOU now and take it off the bs that is causing you to be miserable when you should be happy and calmly sharing your love for one another.

Again. What a waste of your good emotional feelings to be concentrating on something that can never be changed instead of concentrating on the love he shows YOU and how it makes you happy.

[omnifarious]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and everything is going fantastic. We've never had any major issues and we love each other very much. Then only problem is that I lost my virginity to him. He, however, lost his to a girl he dated for about two years. I've had five boyfriends including him but none of them lasted very long and I'm having a hard time getting over the fact that 1. He was my first but I wasn't his and 2. He was in love with his ex. He is my first love. Any advice on how I can look past this? It's really been bothering me lately. Thanks.

I used to think just like you. The reality is life is a lot more complex than that. Sometimes we're with someone we think we know and understand and we grow to trust and love them, but life can change us and before you know it we come to realize we don't even know ourselves. Don't judge people too harshly on their past. Even your own future isn't promised today.

[HeartWeaver]

I understand how you feel as I have felt so before. However, this jealousy will only sow unnecessary discord in your relationship. As long as he is not still with his ex or hung up about her, don't let your jealousy hurt your relationship

[michelle23]

I don't believe you are ever truly "in love" with someone unless your relationship lasts past the 2-3 year mark. Look up the difference between infatuation and love. Love is when you know someone inside and out, all their flaws and accept them for who they are. Love is when you go through a rough patch and come out the other side stronger.. its when you put each other first and don't betray each other or hurt each other etc..

His relationship with his ex didn't last because it wasn't true love. Yours could be