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Thread: Is it time to break up? :(

  1. #1
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    Is it time to break up? :(

    I've been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now. We first met in college and just recently started dating. We are both 24 years old and were both each other's first relationship, first everything.

    It is a longggggg distance relationship but we usually still managed to see each other twice a month. I've been having doubts in my mind whether he is truly the one for me for about 2 months now and the more I think about it the more I feel like we shouldn't be together anymore. but the thing is he is such a nice guy, treats me well and is the kind of guy I feel like it's hard to find anymore (loyal, doesn't screw around with girls, honest, truly loves me, trustworthy, etc).

    I'm just confused and scared and lost. I honestly don't see a future with him because I don't think I'm willing to move across the country for him. A lot of the little things he does are starting to annoy me and I feel bad about it. They're literally the stupidest thing like the clothes he wears, the way he eats in public, the way he walks, etc. I feel like such a mean girlfriend for feeling like this but i don't even know why i'm feeling like this. my girlfriends told me it's my mind trying to convince me that i no longer want to be with him....is this true?

    Sometimes I feel like I'm not in love with him anymore, maybe I'm just comfortable being with him and afraid to be alone. I also don't want to hurt him. He is so deeply in love with me and everyday he tells me he wants to be with me forever and never wants to lose me. I don't know how to tell him without hurting him. I'm also scared that if I break up with him that I will never find a guy that i'm this comfortable, this close with. How do I even meet people? I don't want to end up alone and I'm gonna be 25 soon and I've always wanted to settle down by 26. Where am I gonna find another relationship with so much history like this one

    I'm so confused.....has anyone feel like this? Is it time to end this relationship?

  2. #2
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    In short if you have any problem with him then I think you should have to talk to him because every time break up is not the solution so you need to talk with him face to face and tell him what's the problems and try to solve it out. And yeah I have one question for you. would you get over easily after break up with him if yes then you should break up with him and if know then think about your future and then go on some conclusion..

  3. #3
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    I think your first step is to take a bit of a step back and analyze yourself and your feelings in this situation. In other words, are all of these little things annoying you about him simply because of your confused state, or do they actually annoy you? If you actually find those things legitimately that annoying, then I think that is your answer right there. He isn't doing anything wrong in the way he walks/how he dresses/etc. so he doesn't deserve to be treated as though he does. And that isn't to say there is anything wrong with you if they legit annoy you. Everybody has their peeves. It just might mean he is not the right match for you.

    However, it is very possible that these things are only annoying you BECAUSE of your doubts. If you find that you think that is the case, then you need to have a different sort of discussion with yourself. Then, that is deciding if you can see ever moving closer to him for a more serious relationship, or if you just do not think that is possible. If you don't think you could do that, then you have the discussion with him and let him know where you stand. It could be possible that maybe he could see moving closer to you, and that could solve the problem. If neither of you wants to move then, again, there is your answer.

    On the other hand, if you are finding that you just don't think you two are a match, then you owe it to him and yourself to end it. If he is as nice a guy as you make him out to be, then he certainly doesn't deserve to be with somebody who doesn't actually full appreciate/love him. At the same time, you do not deserve to be stuck with a guy you don't really love just because you don't think you will ever find another nice guy. We nice guys are out there. If the world would stop either killing us, or turning us evil (I sometimes think it is too late for me) then maybe there'd be more of us around. Either way, if this guy isn't your true match, then that just means he is out there still looking for you. Good luck!

  4. #4
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    The problem with being young and having had limited relationship experience is that you always wonder what the grass is like on the other side. He was your first everything, as you mentioned...and in all honesty, you might not appreciate what you have because you don't have much else to compare it to. I had 3 serious relationships prior to getting engaged recently; I knew he was the 'one' because he was better suited to me than the others in every way. Had I remained with my first ever boyfriend, I wouldn't be happy. On the other side of the coin, perhaps you've already met the guy who is best suited to you...but you just can't appreciate it for lack of experience.

    That said, just because someone loves us/treats us well doesn't mean the feelings are reciprocated, no matter how much we try. Settling for that will always leave you wanting something more.

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