Am I just being an idiot?

[Ice-girl92]

So, first of all hi o/

I just want to know if I'm being all crazy from watching too much TV or whatever but this means alot to me so here goes: ...

So I am from Iceland and about a year and a half ago I came to Norway to babysit for a friend one summer, you know, like a Au-Pair kinda thing, and well.. I ended up falling for this guy and well, when the kids went back to kindergarden, he asked me if I wanted to move in with him. I did at the beginning have my doubts but we are now, over a year later STILL living together and still in love, but I have been havin really big problems with getting a job out here, it just feels like I'm never going to get a job and I'm not even being picky when applying, were talking store clerk jobs, filling shelves or busting tables, I'll do anything.
Anyhow now that you have a bit of the background, would y'all consider me crazy for wanting to marry the guy? and I just want to be sure that he is as serious as I am, before I make a fool of myself and propose to him.

I apprechiate(pardon my english) all comments and advice...

p.s. I am 22 and he is 26

[nico88]

I don't think you're crazy for wanting to marry him. I mean if you're in love then that would eventually be the next step in a relationship anyways, right?

Definitely make sure he's on the same page as you before you make any big moves like proposing. If he thinks it's too soon it could kinda scare him off a little you know?

[Ice-girl92]

thanks

we've talked about it... and buying a house and all sorts of things, but I'm wondering if I should wait and allow him to propose when he's ready, but then again, he might not do it because he probably doesn't see the need for it? could that be the case? that he, since we are already living together, doesn't see the need to get hitched?

[nico88]

It's completely up to you. I mean if he hasn't proposed yet it could just be that he's not ready and not because he doesn't see a need for it. Maybe he's just waiting for the right time for him instead of just rushing into it because he knows it's what you want you know? You've only been together for over a year. And yeah sometimes people get engaged in less time but others need more time because taking that big of a step.

But if it's what you want and you're sure it's what he does too then shit..go for it.

[Wakeup]

Why don't you get yourself financially settled before you make any hasty decisions. It's never ever a good idea to be totally dependent on a guy. You need to learn how to be able to fend for yourself should you're relationship go tits up. What will you do if that should happen and you haven't a cent to your name and no job?

Be smart about things. Love doesn't mean you stop being responsible for yourself.

[Ice-girl92]

Well, it's not like I don't have any money... I do get state support, and I've been fending for myself for the last 5 years, I pay my half of the mortage and all that stuff.. I just don't go to a job, but hopefully that is about to change.

and you are right... Love does not mean that I stop being responsible for myself.

[seekyourguy]

It's not crazy at all ice-girl92, as long as you're doing it for love, and not for convenience.
Just imagine yourself in a position where getting a job wasn't a problem.... would your desire still be as strong?
I've fallen into the trap myself in the past, where it was easier just to settle for something.

But if it's genuine love, then absolutely go for it, there's nothing stopping you

[dontaskme]

You pay for half of the mortgage using state support? WTF?!!!

[Wakeup]

Well, it's not like I don't have any money... I do get state support,

Whats your address...

[dem862]

Usually before the proposal there has been some indication that the other party is interested. There is no way you can be clueless about this. If you don't have a clue what he would say, then it is too soon. Drop some hints and see how he reacts. That is the only way you will find out. Nobody on here has any more idea than you do.

[Ice-girl92]

Whats your address...

why do you want my adress? o.0 ... well.. I live in norway if that clears anything up?

[Wakeup]

Did you get yourself a job and stop sponging off the government?
Did you ask him to marry you?

[Ice-girl92]

I did get a job yes.. "Sponging" is a strange term but it was not by choice that I did that you know.... moving between countries is not as easy as it sounds... somehow I had to live.
and I decided not to ask him, because I am not ready myself... found that out after alot of thinking...

(BTW: this is the "ask A male forum" so I was acctually expecting a reply from a male, not accusations from a female)

[dontaskme]

Who the fukc cares, ask a male, ask a female, it's the fukcing internet, anyone is free to answer.

[Ice-girl92]

I didn't say she couldnt, it was just a point out... but acctually, I do care, I asked on this forum because I acctually want advice from a male, not a female gimen as advice given to me by females has in the past NEVER worked out, whereas the guys usually were right.. (also I was sort of more fed up with the false accusation that I was leeching without reason)