Just friends or...?

[Akynos]

Hello !

So I have this female friend with whom I am quite close, but I am not sure of her intentions. I said I wanted us to be close friends, but I get the feeling that she is flirting ( and I feel like I'm flirting too since I find her attractive). She is quite shy, prude and doesn't say much about herself due to insecurity. She also has a LDR boyfriend for a couple of years but told me she didn't know if she still loved him ( and apparently she rarely sees/talks to him anymore). Could you guys tell me what you think? Here are the details of our latest evening together.

-She hinted she had a lot to do, but told me she came anyway because of me
-When I tease her playfully she always slaps me gently
-She grabs my arm every time she teases me
-I think she often looks at me even when we're not talking
-She sits close to me and likes to toy with my forearm ( poke and such)
-Sometimes even grab my hand/fingers for a second or two
-I often initiate hugs, but I feel they are just friendly hugs. However she always like holds my hand which is on her shoulder when I do and rests her head on my shoulder.
-Laughs a lot, but I can crack decent jokes that everyone will laugh at
- I don't know if this matters, but her eyes sometimes seem large and wet? Like with lots of lighting reflections? I didn't notice how dilated the pupils were but I remember thinking : '' Wow, she's got big round shiny eyes''
-She's also super shy, likes to listen rather than talk and hates to touch strangers.
-She has started talking to me about things that she didn't used to ( the kind that make you think ''wow, didn't think she was like THAT !'')

Things that hint that she doesn't fancy me:

-When we hug goodbye they used to be really tight hugs but since a couple of months she makes them light and quick
-Often I initiate for meetups and she never stays for too long ( says she has a lot to do, which she does actually, but I still feel she isn't making a real effort to see me as often as possible)
-6 months ago I asked her if she wanted us to go to the next step, but she said she wasn't ready and couldn't say for sure she would ( but assured me it wasn't a ''no''). We have got much closer now though.

Other things:

-She never invites other friends along, its always just the both of us, apart from one time when she invited another guy over for revision ( we were going to revise for exams) and she later told me he wasn't even a friend and he insisted to tag along because he had to study too

-She never lets me know of what she is doing the rest of time, like she wants to hide her life besides our meeting unless I insist.

Also I'll be going abroad to the US for ten months and she showed me she was really hurt by that...

So do you guys think she is just very comfortable with me or does she want more?

Thanks dudes and dudettes, Cheers from Wales !

[Akynos]

bumpitty bump.

[crossandbone]

She's very touchy feely with you which is a good sign =) I say go for it and ask her out!

[Akynos]

Thanks ! Not the right time for me to do that though :p

[Lilia]

She can keep you in this stage forever (for many years, 5-10 or even 20), giving you hope and then taking it back.
I think you should make a move and initiate more sexual things with her. Or ask her out on a date and not as a friend. If she rejects you then you you will know that she's not interested. I've had relationships like that with guys in the past and I didn't want to date them, nor even sleep with them (doesn't mean that she's like that) and then when they confronted me or realized there is no hope they would move on and never even call me again.

[Akynos]

She can keep you in this stage forever (for many years, 5-10 or even 20), giving you hope and then taking it back.
I think you should make a move and initiate more sexual things with her. Or ask her out on a date and not as a friend. If she rejects you then you you will know that she's not interested. I've had relationships like that with guys in the past and I didn't want to date them, nor even sleep with them (doesn't mean that she's like that) and then when they confronted me or realized there is no hope they would move on and never even call me again.

Haha I don't think I'm going to see her for so many years Thanks for your opinion !

I think I'm going to be honest with her and tell her how I feel about all of this. As I mentioned, I don't want to initiate anything since I don't want a relationship with her at the moment. But I feel I should let her know of my plans, so perhaps we can do something when I get back. If I still have feelings for her then, I will confront her, and make the ultimatum you all suggested, that is '' Let's agree on either being together or we'll just have distant, friendly contact''.

Do you feel that's the right thing to do?