to all men who watch porn and the women who are worried because of it:

[Mallory]

hey,

I just thought I'd share this with you guys because in my opinion relationships would be so much better if porn didn't exist.

I used to have relationship problems with my long term boyfriend because of porn. He wanted less and less sex, wasn't staying hard anymore, ejaculated too quickly or not at all - things like this. And I was looking for answers on the net and found this website. I can only recommend it. I think some of you will start seeing daylight ... I can only say it changed things in my life for the good.

And I think that especially men should look at themselves critically and ask themselves if their porn consumption might have something to do with them starting to loose attraction for their wifes/girlfriends or performance issues in bed.

From my expecience I can tell you that my relationship definitely got better since my bf stopped watching porn. I feel closer to him again and we have more and better sex.

[somehelp4me]

Quite the long stretch there in your forum posting, mallory - just to log in and post this? Are you advertizing that website? Or something else =)

[Mallory]

Quite the long stretch there in your forum posting, mallory - just to log in and post this? Are you advertizing that website? Or something else =)

hehe, not at all. if you look at my posting history you will notice I am most probably not someone who just came here to advertise. I mentioned this site cause it has a collection of articles on the topic and I know that so many people out there are having relationship or other problems because of porn. I really just want to be of help and I wish I found out about the effects of porn earlier. I wish more people would realize how harmful porn is and that it is just not normal wo watch other people having sex. You should enjoy having sex with a real person instead. just my opinion. ;-)

(by the way, I also posted another topic today, which is the reason I came here. Just thoght I'd use the opportunity to mention this also.. )

[somehelp4me]

I'm sure you'll get all the help you deserve =)

[crossandbone]

I think it's different for everyone. For some men porn becomes they're only source of "fulfillment" and for others is just a good way to rev them up. My ex and I would sometimes watch porn together and we had an amazing sex life. Though the idea of their bf watching porn isn't every girl's cup of tea, I personally see no problem with it. I've actually learned a few new tricks because of it =) lols

[lovebroken]

Nothing wrong with men watching porn or reading porn magazines as long as they realize it is fantasies and can be with real women sexually too.

[YoungCosmo]

I'm one of the few hetero males that is inclined to agree. My sex drive is screwed up as a result of porn and even worse, my "performances" have similarly been ruined by years of watching and having my brain distorted

[crossandbone]

I'm one of the few hetero males that is inclined to agree. My sex drive is screwed up as a result of porn and even worse, my "performances" have similarly been ruined by years of watching and having my brain distorted

I wonder if it would have the same effect on a woman or if it's just a male thing? Curious.......

[Mallory]

I'm one of the few hetero males that is inclined to agree. My sex drive is screwed up as a result of porn and even worse, my "performances" have similarly been ruined by years of watching and having my brain distorted

seems like my link to the website was deleted. (which I think is stupid by the way cause I wasn't linking anything that money is earned with ... ) but to anyone who is interested in the articles that are linked there and what might help you can ask google: how does the brain react to porn - and you will probably find what I mean.



to crossandbone: yes, I think the effect on woman is similar, they don't get aroused easily anymore. Just ask yourself if it still arouses you to just see your partner naked or if its just boring to you. Or if you still react to a rather innocent touch on your leg.

to lovebroken: you might realize this, but your brain does not. Also you get a dopamine rush from all the novelty you see and in the long run your dopamine receptors decline. You get desentisized and it gets harder and harder to be aroused.


I can only recommend for anyone who is really interested to gather information on this. I really just want to share this knowledge because I think its sad that people aren't even aware.

[Wakeup]

hey,

I just thought I'd share this with you guys because in my opinion relationships would be so much better if porn didn't exist.

I used to have relationship problems with my long term boyfriend because of porn. He wanted less and less sex, wasn't staying hard anymore, ejaculated too quickly or not at all - things like this. And I was looking for answers on the net and found this website. I can only recommend it. I think some of you will start seeing daylight ... I can only say it changed things in my life for the good.

And I think that especially men should look at themselves critically and ask themselves if their porn consumption might have something to do with them starting to loose attraction for their wifes/girlfriends or performance issues in bed.

From my expecience I can tell you that my relationship definitely got better since my bf stopped watching porn. I feel closer to him again and we have more and better sex.

I'm thinking that its much easier for your own ego to blame porn then it is to just realize that he lost attraction to you due to the natural decline of the relationship...

I also think that masturbation, the frequency and the technique are what made him not be able to come while having sex in a vagina. No vag is as tight as his grip nor can it go as fast as his hand.

Before there was the rampant availability of porn, men who masturbated a certain way and too many times had all the problems you're mentioning as the fault of porn.

From your experience, I don't think you relationship got better because he stopped watching porn, in fact I'd bet he still watches only now he hides it better from you but rather it's better because you've stopped nagging him about watching it and scaring him away from you sexually with your demands for a porn free environment.

This is all projection of course but so is your long stretching conclusion that I'm sure, if nothing else, assauges your insecurities and fears that he finds others more attractive then you.

JMNSHO.

[Mallory]

I'm thinking that its much easier for your own ego to blame porn then it is to just realize that he lost attraction to you due to the natural decline of the relationship...

I also think that masturbation, the frequency and the technique are what made him not be able to come while having sex in a vagina. No vag is as tight as his grip nor can it go as fast as his hand.

Before there was the rampant availability of porn, men who masturbated a certain way and too many times had all the problems you're mentioning as the fault of porn.

From your experience, I don't think you relationship got better because he stopped watching porn, in fact I'd bet he still watches only now he hides it better from you but rather it's better because you've stopped nagging him about watching it and scaring him away from you sexually with your demands for a porn free environment.

This is all projection of course but so is your long stretching conclusion that I'm sure, if nothing else, assauges your insecurities and fears that he finds others more attractive then you.

JMNSHO.

I was not asking you for advice and I don't need it cause I already found the source of my relationship problems and the solution to it and I am much happier now. Believe it or not - that's why I wanted to share because I just know there is a lot of unhappy women out there and men that have erectile dysfunction or else and don't even realize that porn is to blame. Instead they defend it, cause addicted people always defend their drugs - Like you saying the loss of attraction is due to "natural recline of relationship" - How come then that there are happy couples out there that have been married for 20 years and still have sex about 2 times a week?

the problem is not that I am insecure. I am just not stupid and clueless. Just read for yourself: [url=http://boldanddetermined.com/2011/10/20/10-reasons-to-stop-using-internet-porn/]10 Reasons to Stop Using Internet Porn[/url]

and if you want to analyze my relationship again just pm me, because this is not what this thread is about.

- - - Updated - - -

and in case I am not allowed to post a link, here is what the article says:

Here are 10 reasons to stop masturbating to internet porn:

1) Internet porn saps you of precious energy – When you give up the porn and the endless masturbation sessions you have a lot more energy and drive. You want to get out and take care of business. You want to make money, you want to hit the weights, and you want to go and talk to that cute little blonde in the cereal aisle – and you just may have blueballs enough to do it.

2) Internet porn can lead to erectile dysfunction – Keep at it and eventually you will only be aroused by internet porn. Right now guys in their TWENTIES and even guys in their TEENS are having trouble getting hard without porn. They have to keep finding more and more disgusting and outrageous porn scenes to satisfy their hunger. Eventually nothing will do it but seeing a naked black man butt****ing a dog. That’s serious business. Keep up with the porn and it will happen to you too.

3) Internet porn will make you will want to stop having sex – Why bother with sex when you have every fantasy in the world available at one of your hands? Japan is a notoriously porn friendly country. Japan is saturated with porn. In Japan there is an entire culture of young guys called “Herbivores”. These herbivores have no desire for sex. All this porn and now the guys don’t want girls, they want sex with their hand, or sex with robots or nothing at all. Japan now has the lowest birthrate in the world. Can you see the connection?

4) After you stop masturbating to internet porn your voice may become deeper – Straight from the horses mouth, this is what guys who have stopped masturbating are saying happens.

5) After you stop masturbating to internet porn you will have more self control and will power – I’m telling you from personal experience you just plain feel better and stronger and more masculine. It’s the opposite feeling after masturbating to internet porn.

6) After you stop masturbating to internet porn your Testosterone will rise – According to this article, Testosterone is slightly higher when abstaining from orgasm. And it does rise slightly during sexual activity—before dropping back down to normal. Having sex with a real life girl increases your testosterone while having sex with your hand and sitting in front of a computer with 5 different pages open decreases it. I don’t need a science article to tell me that, I know it to be true from experience.

7) After you stop masturbating to internet porn you will become calmer, more rational, and less anxious – Again, straight from the horses mouth. Check out the link below to see all the positive results guys are getting.

8) You will become more attractive to women - Let’s assess the situation. Who do you think women find more attractive? A) Guys who spend their time in the dark, jacking off to endless streams of porn, finish after about an hour, take a nap, finally make it out in the sunlight (or not) and can’t even look them in the eye. Or B) Guys who don’t spend their time playing with themselves for hours, are full of testosterone, not having spilled their precious seed twice that day, have a deeper voice, and have the ability to make eye contact.

Easy answer.

9) You can stop getting viruses on your computer- Viruses are a pain in the ass and can sometimes take days to deal with. Most computer viruses come from porn. Eliminate the source, eliminate the virus.

10) If you can’t believe me, then take the word of these gentlemen who beat their addiction to internet porn and reaped the benefits - There are 90 pages worth of positive results. I’ve only quoted from the first few pages:

[lovebroken]

What about masturbating to porn magazines, or porn based mind scenarios that have nothing to do with turning on a computer? Is it all porn, or you think worse is internet porn? because your last post lists only stuff on online porn.

[michelle23]

I agree with OP. Porn can/does ruin relationships. If it upsets your partner or makes them feel insecure or causes issues with your sex life or attraction levels for real woman than you should acknowledge that and try to find a solution. Lots of men remain in denial about this simply because they don't want to stop but your gf/wife is a person with feelings and as her partner, you need to at least acknowledge those feelings and try to work towards a solution together.

[Mallory]

What about masturbating to porn magazines, or porn based mind scenarios that have nothing to do with turning on a computer? Is it all porn, or you think worse is internet porn? because your last post lists only stuff on online porn.

I think that online porn is worst since the arousal is probably highest. There is always a new woman and something unexpected happening. Your brain reacts to that. This article explains it very well from a scientific view:

[url=http://thegospelcoalition.org/article/9-things-you-should-know-about-pornography-and-the-brain/]9 Things You Should Know About Pornography and the Brain | TGC | The Gospel Coalition[/url]

and here is a quote out of it:

"1. Sexually explicit material triggers mirror neurons in the male brain. These neurons, which are involved with the process for how to mimic a behavior, contain a motor system that correlates to the planning out of a behavior. In the case of pornography, this mirror neuron system triggers the arousal, which leads to sexual tension and a need for an outlet. "The unfortunate reality is that when he acts out (often by masturbating), this leads to hormonal and neurological consequences, which are designed to bind him to the object he is focusing on," says Struthers. "In God's plan, this would be his wife, but for many men it is an image on a screen. Pornography thus enslaves the viewer to an image, hijacking the biological response intended to bond a man to his wife and therefore inevitably loosening that bond."

2. In men, there are five primary chemicals involved in sexual arousal and response. The one that likely plays the most significant role in pornography addiction is dopamine. Dopamine plays a major role in the brain system that is responsible for reward-driven learning. Every type of reward that has been studied increases the level of dopamine transmission in the brain, and a variety of addictive drugs, including stimulants such as cocaine, amphetamine, and methamphetamine, act directly on the dopamine system. Dopamine surges when a person is exposed to novel stimuli, particularly if it is sexual, or when a stimuli is more arousing than anticipated. Because erotic imagery triggers more dopamine than sex with a familiar partner, exposure to pornography leads to "arousal addiction" and teaches the brain to prefer the image and become less satisfied with real-life sexual partners.

3. Why do men seek out a variety of new explicit sexual images rather than being satisfied with the same ones? The reason is attributed to the Coolidge effect, a phenomenon seen in mammalian species whereby males (and to a lesser extent females) exhibit renewed sexual interest if introduced to new receptive sexual partners, even after refusing sex from prior but still available sexual partners. This neurological mechanism is one of the primary reasons for the abundance and addictiveness of Internet pornography.

4. Overstimulation of the reward circuitry—such as occurs with repeated dopamine spikes related to viewing pornography—creates desensitization. As Gary Wilson explains, "When dopamine receptors drop after too much stimulation, the brain doesn't respond as much, and we feel less reward from pleasure. That drives us to search even harder for feelings of satisfaction—for example, by seeking out more extreme sexual stimuli, longer porn sessions, or more frequent porn viewing—thus further numbing the brain.

5. "The psychological, behavioral, and emotional habits that form our sexual character will be based on the decisions we make," says Struthers. "Whenever the sequence of arousal and response is activated, it forms a neurological memory that will influence future processing and response to sexual cues. As this pathway becomes activated and traveled, it becomes a preferred route—a mental journey—that is regularly trod. The consequences of this are far-reaching."

6. What makes Internet porn unique? Wilson identifies a number of reasons, including: (1) Internet porn offers extreme novelty; (2) Unlike food and drugs, there are almost no physical limitations to Internet porn consumption; (3) With Internet porn one can escalate both with more novel "partners" and by viewing new and unusual genres; (4) Unlike drugs and food, Internet porn doesn't eventually activate the brain's natural aversion system; and (5) The age users start watching porn. A teen's brain is at its peak of dopamine production and neuroplasticity, making it highly vulnerable to addiction and rewiring.

7. Men's exposure to sexually explicit material is correlated with social anxiety, depression, low motivation, erectile dysfunction, concentration problems, and negative self-perceptions in terms of physical appearance and sexual functioning."