This is my first post on here and I'm a basket case. I'm turning 24 in a week and this last Thursday was the very first time I've ever even kissed a girl. We have been part of the same church volleyball group for over a year. 2 Thursdays ago I invited her out with me and my friend and she met us at a local bar. Around 1 we leave and she comes back to my place, eats, and watches a movie staying at my house until 4am. We got along good. A week later I invite her out again with a couple of our volleyball friends, same bar. We all go back to my house and eat. They all head home leaving just the 2 of us. We had been drinking moderately. About 6 beers each over the course of the night. We swim in my pool for a while, play Zelda which we both love, all until about 3:30 where we sit on the couch and my back is propped on her shins. We switch spots and I'm now holding her in my arms while we watch funny YouTube videos on my tv. At about 4:45 she starts showing me videos of her second cousin that she regularly watches. I've watched and become attached to my neighbors kids and watching other peoples kids is the main thing we had in common that we talked about. As we were sitting there i said that I admired how she stepped in and watched the kid and how it reminded me of the way I take care of the neighbor kids. I said she'd make a great mom some day and she said no, her kids won't like her and said she prolly won't have any cuz she's not even pretty which isn't true. So I said nonsense and said how astounding I found her looks and character. I then leaned her back in my arms and kissed her. We continued this until about 5:30 am when we fell asleep in each other's arms holding hands all night. Kissing was as far as we went and that was a big deal for me to have my first kiss followed by several more and falling asleep together. She then said she was too warm in her sweater and I offered her a t shirt I had changed out of earlier? It was dArk but I said I'd look away while she changed tops and did as I said. I woke her up at 930 for work as asked and with both of us unquestionably sober, we kissed several more times before I walked her to her car. As she left she said I should come eat at her work later and she texted me around 3 to say it wasn't busy come on up. I let her order for me and tipped 10 on a 10 dollar bill. I knew she had plans with her friend that night so after I thanked her I resumed my errands. That was Friday. Then yesterday I texted her good morning and asked if she had a nice time to which she replied yes we did. I then tried to invite her to a small party my friend was throwing. She texted that she already had plans which she mentioned were tentative as she left Thursday. I've not heard from her since and her 2am Facebook post was about what a great time she was having with her acquaintances tagged. It was a mixed gender group of 5. How should I interpret this and did I make any mistakes. After my one first time sleeping with (again, not sex, just sleeping and kissing) somebody, my couch feels like it's made of ice and I haven't been able to sleep or eat since I ate at her work Friday. It's now Sunday morning. What's happening to me and what's her deal. I had vowed to be alone my whole life to avoid these games and suspense. Did I make a mistake by breaking my number 1 rule and sharing a night with somebody I cared about. She is also aware of my lack of experience. Please help, I really need advice. Thank you so much for taking the time to read.