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Thread: Should I initiate conversation again, or is he just not that into me?

  1. #1
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    Aug 2011
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    Should I initiate conversation again, or is he just not that into me?

    Hi everyone!
    First I want to apologize because I’m not a native English speaker, so there will definitely be a few mistakes here and there. Also, I think this will be a pretty long story, so please bare with me…

    I met this guy on a night out. He is a friend of my best friend’s boyfriend. He was there with a few of his friends, so my friend introduced us. She had told me about him once before, because he studies the same thing I studied at the same university I went to (I graduated last year, and he is a few years younger than me) I immediately started talking to him about university and how we studied the same thing, and even though his friends were there too we ended up talking to each other most of the night. When I was getting ready to leave that night, he stopped me and for my number. I had only been in my car for a few minutes and i got a text from him “Get home safe”. I replied (no worries I wasn’t driving) and we exchanged a few more texts, ending with a goodnight-text from him when i got home and went to bed.

    Now he had told me that night that he was leaving on holiday two days later, so I waited a few days and texted him to ask if he was having fun there. It took a while for him to reply, I guess that’ normal when you’re on holiday, but we ended up texting each other quite long messages every single day. By the moment he got back, I had already left for holiday myself, but we kept on texting each other about one or two texts a day. The day I got back I asked him if he wanted to do something together sometime. We live about an hour and a half away from each other (that might not seem far for some of you, but where I live, that’s considered pretty far). We decided to meet in the city where our university is, because it’s quite a central meeting place from where we both live. We met in the afternoon around, because it was a beautiful day, and we wandered around a bit an had a few drinks.
    At a certain point he got quite a lot of text messages. I told him he could check his phone, so he did. He told me it was a group conversation with his friends, because he was meeting up with them that evening to grab a bite to eat and see a movie. I immediately felt a bit gutted, because i kind of hoped he would like to grab a bite with me. It just felt a bit weird for me that he had already made plans. At one point we were talking about relationships and he said that he isn’t really looking for a relationship right now. Which I also thought was quite weird.

    Because I didn’t know what to think, I decided not to text him and to wait for him to text, which he did the next evening. I was very happy to hear from him, but from there it all went downhill. We kept on texting every day, but he didn’t really ask me any questions anymore, so I had to keep on sending texts with questions or with things he could reply to. He would always answer my questions, but not ask questions himself. He did, however, sometimes randomly tell me things e.g. that he went for drinks with my best friend and her boyfriend the night before or that he had a football game and his team won. One day he told me the previous day that he had dropped something on his foot. So the next evening I asked him how his foot was. He replied that it was a bit better, so it didn’t look like it was anything serious. So I replied that I was glad he was doing better, without asking another question for once. He didn’t reply…

    It’s now three days later and he still hasn’t texted me anything… I really don’t know what to do now. Next Saturday my best friend’s boyfriend is throwing a party to raise money for something and we’re both helping with serving drinks. This afternoon I’m going to down to where he lives to help my friends set up the venue where the party will be (Which is in the same street as where this guy lives). I really want to see him, so that it isn't totally awkward between us on Saturday, but I don’t know if i should text him or not? What do you guys think?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
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    You can initiate to him once, as he might just be busy. If he doesn't reply at all or seem uninterested, then he's probably not into you.

  3. #3
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    Jan 2014
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    Yeah sorry hun, he's just not that into you. Time to move on.

  4. #4
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    Aug 2014
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    He clearly told you he doesn't want A relationship - a guy would never say that if he is into you.

  5. #5
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    Okay, I get that, but there must have been at least a moment in which he was interested, right? If you're not interested in any way, why would you ask for a girl's number and then send long texts every single day, even if you're on holiday with your friends for two weeks... So does this mean that I did something wrong along the way which made him lose interest?

  6. #6
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    Sep 2014
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    It could be as simple as that he is one of the few guys whom can have a real friendship with a woman without it being about getting sex. That would be my guess since he will reply and already told you he is not looking for a relationship.

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