FWB gone wrong...HELP

[dontaskme]

I don't even have to read your whole post. You are full of shit yourself. You put yourself on a pedestal where it does not belong.

Look very closely in the mirror sister and see a glimpse of yourself. You really think you are way up and beyond this guy and every girl he slept with?

Look again, and this time, put your glasses on so you can see yourself for what you really are.

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Yes, yes and yes.... BUT let me play devils advocate for just a second....don't kill me everyone......WHAT IF.....just maybe, I was the one to break his cycle? He had never been with anyone like me...slightly above his social class, educated, a loving caring Mom, someone who really cared about him...and showed it. WHAT IF, he thought I was the one who COULD break his cycle....but was afraid to get too close as his friend said because he didn't want to get hurt. WHAT IF his flight response kicked in when he said all the hurtful things to me...wanting to push me away. WHAT IF I showed him that not all women are the same...and he was seriously considering a relationship with me...as his friend said......but just wasn't ready or wasn't sure how or if it would work out? He may have had all these doubts in his mind......maybe he doesn't know how to have a normal relationship......he did to me what he knows and stepping out of that pattern was so foreign to him it scared him. I didn't deserve how he treated me at all, I will not defend that, but I am really feeling that he did want me, that he did have feelings for me and I am the one who ended up letting him down by being a bitch.

es, yes, yes....I know, I am throwing out too many WHAT IF's and I know I sound ridiculous and I know you guys are gonna tear me apart for being gullible and naive and just plain bat shit crazy....but I was with him, I heard what he said, I saw how he acted....BUT I also was WITH him, I saw how he looked at me, I felt how he hugged me and I felt in my heart there was something there.....I have a tendency to follow my heart.....

I just want to quote you just in case you decide to delete again because now I know better, you're just full of crap!

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You're just plain pathetic now. You need to see a therapist for your own sake.

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And BTW, I think you have an attention seeking disorder. Go see a therapist for this also.

[Wakeup]

maybe he doesn't know how to have a normal relationship...

What a wonderful reason to never talk to him again, the fact he doesn't know how to have a normal relationship would have anyone who values themselves running fast and far away from him. Those that know how to have dysfunctional, emotionally abusive or sex only relationships will likely stay. Are you one of them types?

[Beth0621]

I don't even have to read your whole post. You are full of shit yourself. You put yourself on a pedestal where it does not belong.

Look very closely in the mirror sister and see a glimpse of yourself. You really think you are way up and beyond this guy and every girl he slept with?

Look again, and this time, put your glasses on so you can see yourself for what you really are

And you don't know shit about me or him so you can stop with your fukcing attack. In this situation, yes, I am a step up from him and his trashy ex's...it's a whole different world. I am not putting myself on a pedestal at all, I do not judge him for his past or how he grew up or his felony record......I accept him for who he is... what I was saying is that I am DIFFERENT form all the others, I am different than any of his friends, I may just be the kind of person he wants to associate with....not like the woman who have hurt him.

You're just plain pathetic now. You need to see a therapist for your own sake.

And BTW, I think you have an attention seeking disorder. Go see a therapist for this also.

Yep, because you know me and you have the right to judge me. I came here for advice not for you to analyze me....you have every right to your opinion, go on with your faultless self and judge someone else if you can't be constructive at all. FU

[Wakeup]

I do not judge him for his past or how he grew up or his felony record......

Women without their own issues would run from someone who had a felony record never mind all of his other faults and reasons why he'd not make a good life mate. Then, they would distance themselves from the likes of him and all his unaddressed issues.

He needs therapy to get past that shit... he's obviously got lots of issue (just going by what his so called friend said to you).

You're in denial and you sound more and more like someone who doesn't value herself much. You do have a brain. Don't lose all sense of self-respect over a player douche who has a felony record. Jayzus H. Christ.

[Beth0621]

You're in denial and you sound more and more like someone who doesn't value herself much. You do have a brain. Don't lose all sense of self-respect over a player douche who has a felony record. Jayzus H. Christ.

I am in denial and no, my self worth is not all that great. Problem is, I have feelings for him...despite all this crap. I don;t know how to let it go...I have a brain, I know I should, it makes no sense for me to want him.....I can't let it go.

[dontaskme]

And you don't know shit about me or him so you can stop with your fukcing attack. In this situation, yes, I am a step up from him and his trashy ex's...it's a whole different world. I am not putting myself on a pedestal at all, I do not judge him for his past or how he grew up or his felony record......I accept him for who he is... what I was saying is that I am DIFFERENT form all the others, I am different than angy of his friends, I may just be the kind of person he wants to associate with....not like the woman who have hurt him.

Yep, because you know me and you have the right to judge me. I came here for advice not for you to analyze me....you have every right to your opinion, go on with your faultless self and judge someone else if you can't be constructive at all. FU

You're right, I don't know you, but based on your posts you think like you're better than any of these garbage or trash like you call them, but the truth of the matter is, you are trashier than they are, the only difference is, they're not as pretentious as you are and they accept themselves for who they are, unlike you, who is for ever on denial and can't accept rejection.

And yes, you are dumb and would like to pretend that you are smart, and attention seeking if I might add. Oh, for fukcs sake, get some help. You're nothing but one desperate pathetic woman who puts all woman into shame!!!

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I am in denial and no, my self worth is not all that great. Problem is, I have feelings for him...despite all this crap. I don;t know how to let it go...I have a brain, I know I should, it makes no sense for me to want him.....I can't let it go.

You can't let go because your dumb and have trouble accepting rejection. Once again woman, look at yourself in the mirror and take a good glimpse at what you see. Do you like the image that is projected in the mirror?

[Wakeup]

You're addicted to him. You do what any addict does to get over their drug of choice. You go cold turkey withdrawl and you take your recovery one day at a time. First you have to acknowledge that your drug of choice isn't healthy and it is affecting your life in negative ways. His non-committal and his disrespectful words to you were abusive. Sex isn't love. Passion isn't love. Men who are incapable of loving you and showing you that they do in actions (sex isn't an action word indicating love)are to be avoided... not regaled in.

No contact with drawl one day at a time.

If you need to see someone professionally to help you get to the stage of indifference to him then see someone. There is no shame in wanting to be the best you that you can be and getting help to realize that you deserve a better man then who you are wishing you were with.

[dontaskme]

We've been nothing but constructive to you, but there seem to be a barrier in your brain that is stopping you from absorbing the fukcing nine pages of advice given to you. Now if you refuse to accept all the good advice, stop posting and take your problems to a psychotherapist who maybe able penetrate the barrier in your brain and put their senses back into your head.

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And stop using your heart as an excuse, because just in case you didn't know, it's the brain that ultimately controls the heart!

[Wakeup]

Adding to above:

"I'll text you if I need sex, if I don't text you that means I got it somewhere else"

The guy you're addicted to is a sociopath. that is THE most disrespectful and disgusting thing a man could say to a woman. Even if I was hung up on his dong like a crack whore on the pipe I'd have slapped his face and walked on him then and there.... If after that his friend tried to talk to me about the douche and how "I" failed a shit test, I'd have told him to go **** his friend if he loved his abusive ways so much and leave me the hell alone.

I'd not want him any more and I'd not even know if he blocked me because I'd never speak to him again. Time along with no contact would fix any residual want. I'd surely know that he never loved me. No one who is capable of healthy love tells a woman he's been doing such a horrible and disrespectful thing.

[woody]

O.P

Ya be flying straight into the nest, not over top.
Why would you want to be the one to break his so called cycle and what makes you think this is a cycle.
Ya be placing yourself and putting a whole lot down based on third party outlook.

I be done with this. Lots of good advice has been going out to you but obviously not in.
Hint to the wise. Don't assume.

[dickriculous]

Yes, yes and yes.... BUT let me play devils advocate for just a second....don't kill me everyone......WHAT IF.....just maybe, I was the one to break his cycle? He had never been with anyone like me...slightly above his social class, educated, a loving caring Mom, someone who really cared about him...and showed it. WHAT IF, he thought I was the one who COULD break his cycle....but was afraid to get too close as his friend said because he didn't want to get hurt. WHAT IF his flight response kicked in when he said all the hurtful things to me...wanting to push me away. WHAT IF I showed him that not all women are the same...and he was seriously considering a relationship with me...as his friend said......but just wasn't ready or wasn't sure how or if it would work out? He may have had all these doubts in his mind......maybe he doesn't know how to have a normal relationship......he did to me what he knows and stepping out of that pattern was so foreign to him it scared him. I didn't deserve how he treated me at all, I will not defend that, but I am really feeling that he did want me, that he did have feelings for me and I am the one who ended up letting him down by being a bitch.

es, yes, yes....I know, I am throwing out too many WHAT IF's and I know I sound ridiculous and I know you guys are gonna tear me apart for being gullible and naive and just plain bat shit crazy....but I was with him, I heard what he said, I saw how he acted....BUT I also was WITH him, I saw how he looked at me, I felt how he hugged me and I felt in my heart there was something there.....I have a tendency to follow my heart.....

This guy must have given you some hellacious dick. He literally fucked you senseless.

[Beth0621]

And yes, you are dumb and would like to pretend that you are smart, and attention seeking if I might add. Oh, for fukcs sake, get some help. You're nothing but one desperate pathetic woman who puts all woman into shame!!!

I'm sorry for disappointing you guys.....I do seek attention...in all the wrong places it seems. I know what kind of guy he is and I am not sure he will change......but because I still have feelings for him I am desperate and pathetic? I am dumb? I guess I am.

[QUOTE]

This guy must have given you some hellacious dick. He literally ****ed you senseless.[/Q

Yep, that and dumb, desperate, pathetic and full of crap.

[woody]

Okay lady,

You've got it bad. I'm just shaking my head here. What is it about this guy that's got you so hot and bothered?
Is it that he represents that 'badboy' archetype and your powerless to his 'wild side' antics?

Seriously, what is it? You find him naughty, sexy as all get and you just can't get enough of him?

OR is it, your not use to being rejected and your grappling at ropes trying desperately to hold on because in your opinion your better than the other ladies he gets with? So why on EArth wouldn't he want you all to himself? Hhmmm. Just a thought.


Hey, no one likes being used. But your letting this guy wring you through the ripper and it's not that he's a bad guy, it's just he's not into a one on one relationship that lasts longer than an orgasm;

It is time for a healthy dose of self respect. I admit, when you referred to the other ladies as 'trash' as you so eloquently put, it bothered me. I thought, good grief, get off your high horse already.

Something tells me your sore over that fact. He sleeps with ladies you deem aren't as classy as you. Your having a hard time understanding why he'd choose them over you.

May I ask, what is so 'trashy' about these ladies? What, do they have tattoos? Can't afford fancy clothes so you label them as trashy? Not so classy

anyway, i hope you get over it. Maybe learn a thing or two on how not to judge a book by its cover.

trash=recyclables=woody=trees, trashy me

okay, okay, yes, I got sore over your labelling. but regardless you did come here for advice right?
You really like this guy. You feel a push to pursue him and be his night in shining armour, to save him and make him see how lucky you both are to have found each other.
Yeesh.
Dang lady, you've got it bad.
Honestly, I don't know what to say. Have you shared any of this with him? I can't believe your even thinking about him after his, "i'll call you if i need sex" line.

Hey, where on EArth did your self respect and self worth go? Why are you allowing this to happen to you?
There are sexy men out there who do make good life partners you know. Why get stuck on one your having such a heck of a time with?

You need to pick up your pieces, grab a healthy dose of self love and move on because from all I have read about your story, this guy is going to eat you up and not in the good way.

Don't become just another niche on his bed post. He's not a bad guy just maybe NOT the right guy for you.

[dontaskme]

Woman, you're a divorced 40 year old, you're not some teenager who got rejected in life for the first time.

I'm sure majority of the people in this world had fallen in love, got dumped and rejected at some point in their lives but was able to pick themselves up, preserve their pride and restore their confidence and self esteem.

You need to do the same. The more you're obsessing with this guy who does not want you in every sense of the word, otherwise he wouldn't block you on
his phone (unless you were like Glen Close in the movie "Fatal Attraction" and you wouldn't leave him alone and kept on harassing him), the more difficult it will be for you to move on and accept that this guy is done with you for good.

There are no "what if's" because if there were, he would have let you known by now. You created this illusion in your head because it is difficult for you to accept rejection. Understandably so, after going through a divorce, you picked the wrong guy, the worst guy a woman could ever choose, and now you are totally crushed. But you need to pick up the pieces of your life and take your pride back and don't look back at the mistakes that you made.

What's done is done and it's time to move forward. Like wake up said, you are addicted to this guy, and it's time to rehabilitate yourself and start the widthrawal process. It's going to be difficult and will take a lot of strength and time, but if you are focused and are willing to make it happen, it can be done.

We can give you all the advise here, but ultimately, you are the only person who can help yourself.

Look deeply inside yourself and ask what you really want in life. Do you want to be treated like a piece of trash for the rest of your life, or you'd like to have that respect restored back in your life?

Truthfully, respect sound 1,000% much better.

And stop judging people. You're not better than anyone. Strangers in this forum are turned off by you when you think your so much better than the others. Do not make that assumption of people. You only know what the asshole told you about these women. You do not know them personally. If you are indeed a woman with class, you will never stoop down to a level that low as to call people "trash or trashy".

I hope you will start moving on from this. This thread is starting to make you look really bad, so if you know what's good for you, start getting professional help cause you obviously need it.

[dickriculous]

Meh, let this one go everyone. Everybody has said their piece multiple times. OP needs learn through experience from this point, seems pretty obvious that a lack thereof is the X factor here as like I said, she was a fwb virgin before this. Yelling from on top of a soapbox is only resulting in everyone pissing themselves off.

Yep, that and dumb, desperate, pathetic and full of crap.

Uhm...I was just going to stop at fucked you senseless lmao.