FWB gone wrong...HELP

[Beth0621]

Has your tarot shit warped your brain to the point where you're literally arguing with ghosts now?

Gonna assume y'all know each other...???

[dontaskme]

And you are supposed to be an educated, professional woman and yet you couldn't use your brain to figure this out? Wow!

[Beth0621]

And you are supposed to be an educated, professional woman and yet you couldn't use your brain to figure this out? Wow!

Wow!....because I am an educated professional woman, I should not have feelings? This has nothing to do with how educated I am, it has to do with how inexperienced I am with this type of behavior. I followed my heart....but DIDN'T take my brain with me. Thanks for your assessment.

[michelle23]

Your posts imply that surf even if they didn't say it

[dontaskme]

Wow!....because I am an educated professional woman, I should not have feelings? This has nothing to do with how educated I am, it has to do with how inexperienced I am with this type of behavior. I followed my heart....but DIDN'T take my brain with me. Thanks for your assessment.

Educated women your age use their brain and is able to understand when a guy says he only wants to fukc and nothing else. Somehow, you created this delusion in your head that there is some more to this FWB than there is to it. It's pathetic how you are using your inexperience shit as an excuse for being dumb.

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And pointing the finger at him like it's his fault for not walking away when you expressed your feeling to him makes you even look more foolish. You should have walked away as soon as he told you that "you weren't his type".

How much more blunt do you want him to be?

[dem862]

She has been out of the game for 20 years, folks. Cut her some slack. The dating world is a jungle compared to the relative stability of marriage.

[dontaskme]

She has been out of the game for 20 years, folks. Cut her some slack. The dating world is a jungle compared to the relative stability of marriage.

Yeah, but if a guy says "you're not my type", I don't know what's not so clear about that?

[Beth0621]

Educated women your age use their brain and is able to understand when a guy says he only wants to fukc and nothing else. Somehow, you created this delusion in your head that there is some more to this FWB than there is to it. It's pathetic how you are using your inexperience shit as an excuse for being dumb.

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And pointing the finger at him like it's his fault for not walking away when you expressed your feeling to him makes you even look more foolish. You should have walked away as soon as he told you that "you weren't his type".

How much more blunt do you want him to be?

Hold up....if you read it all....he was not up front at first...it wasn't until I said I had feelings that he turned it into FWB....after we had been together a few times....I did create that delusion in my head that there was more....because he went back and forth. "Not my type" really didn't put up any red flags for me...he didn't even really know me outside the bedroom. He didn't want to close the possibility door all the way because he wasn't 100% sure.....yet the next day I was back to just a "booty call" Pathetic? Yep I guess so....I honestly did not think he was that much of a douche... that at 40, as a single dad, he would just bang women for the fun of it...grow the hell up. Oh, and it was after three months with him that I found out about his "list" of FWB that he has had on standby for years. So, YES, I am pointing the finger at him for not walking away. He didn't want drama, he didn't want a relationship, he just wanted sex....I threw so much drama at him and pressured him so hard for a declaration of feelings that his head is probably still spinning. If he didn't want that, didn't want ME....he should have pulled out his little black fukc book and called another unattached, emotionless bitch...not kept messing with me....but he came back every time.... Blunt? Nah. One breath booty call, next breath "maybe". The sex must have been THAT damn good for him to deal with my dramatic bullshit....and to play with my emotions like he did to keep ME coming back. My excuse was I fell in love...what was his?

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Yeah, but if a guy says "you're not my type", I don't know what's not so clear about that?

What does that even mean? He wasn't my type....I would probably not have looked twice at him if I hadn't met him under the circumstances I did....I would have judged him on his appearance and not even given him a chance. He thought I was beautiful, he thought I was cool, he thought I had a great personality, he thought I had a nice body....he thought I was great in bed....but I wasn't his type? Again, what does that mean?

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She has been out of the game for 20 years, folks. Cut her some slack. The dating world is a jungle compared to the relative stability of marriage.

Thank you.

[dontaskme]

The more defensive you get, the more ridiculous you are starting to look. Grow up. You slept with a guy who according to you, didn't even know you outside of the bedroom, and somehow, this is his fault?

What kind of guy wants drama in life anyway. Hey, I'm a woman and I don't even want drama. Sex is what you offered to him, and sex is what you got. Don't expect a guy to walk away if he is getting free sex. Why should he? And maybe he was pulling out his black book for more booty calls as soon as you left.

Somehow, you feel more entitled than the other women in his booty call list. Get off your pedestal and accept this for what it is, plain and simple.

And who the hell are you to pressure him into declaring his feelings? You're not his GF. You're just one his of his fukc buddies.

You need a reality check sister. No matter at how you look at this, you were the one with expectations and he was upfront. If he liked you from the very beginning, he would have told you that he was interested without you having slept with him. So cut the BS!

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I didn't say he wasn't your type. I said that YOU WERE NOT HIS TYPE. And again, he said those things so he can get you to bed. A guy who is romantically interested with you would have taken you out to dinner, bought you flowers, instead of fukcing you right away.

[michelle23]

[MENTION=76442]dontaskme[/MENTION] wtf is up with the vicious attack on OP? This is an advice forum where people come for help. Do you have anything constructive to say without being a complete cunt? Seriously what an asshole

Just realized your a woman.. sticking up for pricks like him. What is wrong with you? OP already made it clear that he led her on. How the hell is she supposed to read his mind? And dating has changed a LOT since OP has last met anyone which made her vulnerable. You get off your high horse princess and leave her the **** alone

[dontaskme]

[MENTION=76442]dontaskme[/MENTION] wtf is up with the vicious attack on OP? This is an advice forum where people come for help. Do you have anything constructive to say without being a complete cunt? Seriously what an asshole

Yeah, maybe if she wasn't in denial, I would be a lot nicer.

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It seems to me that she's the only one who doesn't get the reality of the situation here.

[michelle23]

Shes not in denial. She has taken responsibility for her naivety. Other than that she did nothing wrong. I just hope she values and respects herself enough to stay away from him now that her eyes are wide open

What exactly is the reality here? If I was single and looking for love-why is it my job to state clearly I am looking for a relationship and not just a booty call? Why is it not up to the person with the comittment issues to be clear what their intentions are? These players have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy or didn't you know that? Thats why you gotta read his actions and ignore words coz they mean sweet **** all. Ya she got sucked in by his BS. She Isn't the first woman to fall for this crap and wont be the last so cut her some slack. She will learn from this and recognize how to spot red flags in future

No matter how you dress it up, hes the asshole here. He hurt and humiliated her when she was most vulnerable after getting out of a 20year marriage. Maybe her self esteem is low. She needs encouragement and support-not attacks

[Beth0621]

It seems to me that she's the only one who doesn't get the reality of the situation here.

I get the reality....I put myself out there, I thought I had a chance with him, I allowed this to happen......its all on me.

If I was single and looking for love-why is it my job to state clearly I am looking for a relationship and not just a booty call?

If I am really honest, and I think I've said this in this post already....I really did want to have sex with him. We talked everyday for a week, I know everything about him, his past, his family...we got personal before we got physical. I was attracted to him and I knew I would have sex with him the first night we were together. I didn't feel I needed to clarify my intentions, I felt we were past that....I though I was clear by our conversations and texts that I wanted more from him. I didn't get the feeling from him I was just a booty call. What I think really happened is we both went into this originally with open minds. He spent some time with me, the sex was great, but after about a month, he really just didn't like me the way I wanted him to.....I was in fact a "friend"....so it turned, for him, into FWB. I, on the other hand didn't want to accept that, thought more sex would make a difference, thought doing nice things for him would make a difference. I was awesome to hang out with, watch football with, drink a few beers with, and fukc. That's it...I was a bro with a vagina.

I've come to terms with it. Still hurts, I still hate I let it happen, I still would probably go back with him because my feelings are still there, but it is what it is.

[dontaskme]

Good, at least you learned from this. There would be more guys in the future who would wine and dine you just to get you into bed. Make sure that you are more guarded next time.

Don't sleep with a guy until he makes clear of his intentions to you.

I'm sorry if I was harsh, I just wanted you to think where you did wrong on this.

Good luck.

[dickriculous]

Your posts imply that surf even if they didn't say it

That's not how you spell "Mr. Ghost". Silly

I didn't feel I needed to clarify my intentions

That mentality is how a poster a couple of years back ended up in a situation where she was with a guy for 9 years waiting for him to propose to her, finally brought it up and found out that contrary to what she had assumed for those 9 years he wasn't interested in marriage and she ended up losing her mind over it. Gotta be careful about these things.