Why the childish behavior?

[Zander1ni]

Posted this in broken hearts but might be better for girls to tell me what they think:

So i dated this girl for about 4 months. She cheated once and we have had many arguments over me being needy, whiny, bitchy, constantly wondering what she was doing, me being jealous etc...Well finally she decided to break it off and that we would remain friends and work on fixing things and even still go on our holiday to hawaii. So things were going well and i got whiny again about her not taking well to me being affectionate. This caused me to have a major outburst and it was the final straw for her. She has said very harsh and hurtful things since i pushed and pushed and begged and pleaded. Now she had told me not to contact her so i didnt for a few days but i wanted a few items back and sent her a a very pragmatic text she read and wouldnt respond so i texted her the following "What's your deal? I'm not trying to be friends, talk, argue or anything...in fact I don't really want much to do with you right now I simply want to get my things back and move on with life..." she didnt respond and blocked me on social media...so i sent this in the AM on facebook "This the last message i am sending about this but I would like to get my stuff back. Please respond in some way to let me know how I can do that. I am willing to pick them up from outside your house also. Just let me know thanks" and she blocked me on facebook.

I just dont get how someone can be so childish...I have accepted the relationship is over and told her. Im very hurt and it seems very rude when i ask very nicely that she decides to block me. what would be your next step? cut my losses be done and no contact her?

Thanks for the help

[TylerX]

If you have mutual friends, ask one of them to talk to her about getting your stuff back. He (or she) should tell her that they will take your stuff from her place so she won't even have to meet you. This should work.

[Zander1ni]

If you have mutual friends, ask one of them to talk to her about getting your stuff back. He (or she) should tell her that they will take your stuff from her place so she won't even have to meet you. This should work.

I do not have mutual friends unfortunately she responded with the following message "You need to relax. Do you know you're coming off as a stalker weirdo..... You are like bi-polar. Like one day you're non stop creepily texting me and trying to follow me on instagram and liking all my tweets and adding me on Facebook. And then you are freeking out and going out of your way to contact me about a text book hahaha. Seriously, it's over. Move on.....you're not getting your stuff back and you never will. I threw it away because I hate you and you're a psycho. Go ****ing cry about it. I don't have time to deal with your bullshit nor was I ever going to mail you/drop off a ****ing book you don't use.....like get over it. It's a book n some fins like the way your acting is laughable....... Grow up and move on with your life. You don't need fins to do so.......You're out of my life and it's done. You're a huge pussy and so retarded......I regret spending any time with you and I actually hate your personality and everything about you. You're a shitty person. Go buy a new book if REALLY need it. You're a joke. NEVER contact me again you ****ing creep"

Just doesnt make sense that you have to be like that...

[Zander1ni]

If you have mutual friends, ask one of them to talk to her about getting your stuff back. He (or she) should tell her that they will take your stuff from her place so she won't even have to meet you. This should work.

heres a little more backstory to the situation:

So my ex-gf is bipolar and we dated for 4 months it was sometimes turbulent but the highs of it were really good. All along we had issues relating to me getting jealous, possessive, insecure, obsessive, always whining and complaining to get my way etc....so finally she had to break it off and said the negatives outweighed the positives....so we decided to start over as friends and see what happened all was well fora few days until we went out drinking and i blew up on her and had a major tantrum over her being all over me and when i reciprocated she reminded me we were not in a relationship it was like she turned on for 10 mins and then totally off. i then got obsessive and called and texted way way too much and we almost fixed things enough to go on our holiday to hawaii but then she finally canceled and she is not going and mad a point to say she is going with "her man" who lives there but isnt in a relationship with him...then things started getting really nasty although i never said anything mean i really annoyed her by wanting to keep talking and just bugged her a lot.

some of the things she said to me are..."What the ###$ you are are Literly crazy.
You don't get it, were done I don't want to hear you convince me or ask me to ######6 dinner....... We don't need space....I requested space a month ago but noooooo you always have to bitch to get what you want. I got absolutely NOTHIG out of this relationship. It was a completley waste of my time. Your voice Literly makes me cringe. I learned not to date anyone obsessed with me. We have nothing in common......we are completley different people and I can't stand you "

"You're the most irritating person ever. You're so retarded and say the stupidest things. I would never go back to you. I can do better. I'm smart pretty and have a great personality I can do a lot better I'm not settling for you "

"You're weird, nerdy, short, complain a lot, a show off, can't dance, have bad style, socially inept...... Need I go on ...."

"I don't like you as a person. You're crazy and do everything wrong, you aren't a good boyfriend, you bitch about everything. Honestly maybe you should date a guy bc you act like such a girl. You're not man enough for me "

"You need to relax. Do you know you're coming off as a stalker weirdo..... You are like bi-polar. Like one day you're non stop creepily texting me and trying to follow me on instagram and liking all my tweets and adding me on Facebook. And then you are freeking out and going out of your way to contact me about a text book hahaha. Seriously, it's over. Move on.....you're not getting your stuff back and you never will. I threw it away because I hate you and you're a psycho. Go ######6 cry about it. I don't have time to deal with your #######4 nor was I ever going to mail you/drop off a ######6 book you don't use.....like get over it. It's a book n some fins like the way your acting is laughable....... Grow up and move on with your life. You don't need fins to do so.......You're out of my life and it's done. You're a huge pussy and so retarded......I regret spending any time with you and I actually hate your personality and everything about you. You're a #######5 person. Go buy a new book if REALLY need it. You're a joke. NEVER contact me again you ######6 creep"

I cant tell why the wholesale change when just days ago she said i was the nicest guy she ever dated and that i was sweet and had all the traits she wanted in a long term partner. What do you guys make of this?

[fearoflove]

Like you said, she is bipolar. This is a very turbulent and unhealthy relationship. I think you should go no contact and just break it off clean. Don't be tempted to stalk her on social media and don't answer to any of her future attempts for contact (if it happens).

[Zander1ni]

Like you said, she is bipolar. This is a very turbulent and unhealthy relationship. I think you should go no contact and just break it off clean. Don't be tempted to stalk her on social media and don't answer to any of her future attempts for contact (if it happens).

Thanks for this...so far i havent contacted her and she has blocked me out on all social media. I guess ill go no contact and see what happens from there...my friend thinks her going on holiday that we were supposed to go on will make her want to contact me but i find it kind of doubtful. What are the negatives in speaking to her if she contacts me?

[fearoflove]

If you talk to her when she contacts you, the break isn't clean and you would risk getting sucked in again.

[Zander1ni]

If you talk to her when she contacts you, the break isn't clean and you would risk getting sucked in again.

Honestly I wouldn't mind getting sucked back in with her as on my end I've been getting help and making changes. I just wonder if her behavior is out of anger towards me or something else

[surfhb]

Who cares? Why would you go back to a women who thinks of you like this?

Either she's lying or you really are like that....which is it? If the latter, you need some serious help. If the former, she's crazy. Done!

[Zander1ni]

Who cares? Why would you go back to a women who thinks of you like this?

Either she's lying or you really are like that....which is it? If the latter, you need some serious help. If the former, she's crazy. Done!

Well at some level some of it is true but more or less an embellishment probably out of anger is my guess because you wouldn't date someone you think that of when just a day earlier she had said differently...and am am getting professional help for some of the issues I had prior and during the relationship

[surfhb]

Yeah. You need to work on yourself then.....you're not ready for any kind of relationship right now

[Zander1ni]

Yeah. You need to work on yourself then.....you're not ready for any kind of relationship right now

You're right I do and currently doing so...there is just some odd draw to her...after speaking to therapist we she has BPD so explains the rapid shift

[Zander1ni]

Bump anybody else?

[NotApplicable]

Sounds like you need to fix yourself first. You said you were being whingy, clingy, demanding affection, pushing her to the brink - as if that was OK and normal. It's not. She's clearly got her own issues but you have your own in a big way. 4 months is nothing in terms of dating, be glad that it didn't go on for longer. As for yourself, good on you for making changes but it sounds like it's going to take a long time. Be kinder to yourself and cut her out for a while.

[Zander1ni]

Sounds like you need to fix yourself first. You said you were being whingy, clingy, demanding affection, pushing her to the brink - as if that was OK and normal. It's not. She's clearly got her own issues but you have your own in a big way. 4 months is nothing in terms of dating, be glad that it didn't go on for longer. As for yourself, good on you for making changes but it sounds like it's going to take a long time. Be kinder to yourself and cut her out for a while.

Clearly my actions weren't normal but not is cheating and being ambiguous about what you are doing or going hot and cold on me all the time...she has cut me out so it's not like I can do anything anyways even with the changes I've made