Stuck in between love and family obligation: Should I follow my heart or my head?

[HeartWeaver]

I'm (or was?) in an online relationship with a man from many miles away whom I have never met. Previously my parents were very controlling and he offered to secretly help me move to his country, and anyway I don't like where I am staying, so I agreed. Hence we hatched a plan for us to get married for me to get a family visa to live in his country so that I can get out of this unhealthy environment that I live in now ASAP.

My parents really hate him as they were convinced that he's up to no good and a bunch of other reasons, but some like the concern over immigration matters are valid to me. However, I don't know if I should trust them as they regard me as a lifeless puppet with no feelings or identity of my own, and that they 'own' me because they took care of me. They said that they spoke that out of anger and didn't mean it, but I am not sure because I caught my father lying and cooking up stories about my partner.

[spoiler]More on this "misunderstanding":
There are 2 possibilities;
1. Parents completely misunderstood what my SO meant (English is not their first language) as he has poor communication skills and tend to communicate in a vague manner with nuances in expressing himself and my parents take it literally.

I can believe my mother misinterpreting what he said with her poor command of the English language, but I don't believe that my father would as he has a strong grasp of the English language and is a self-learned engineer. He was the one who was interpreting the message to my mother, not the other way round.

So that brings me to the second possibility:
2. My father intentionally lied about what my partner said and caused a huge misunderstanding in order to sow discord between my mother and my partner, as she seems to be beginning to like him a short while before that. Mind you, it's not a minor misunderstanding. My father twisted my partner's words into a completely different, sinister meaning.[/spoiler]

I know they're worried of me getting cheated by my boyfriend, but their control was so cynical that I was not allowed to have ANY friends because of their unhealthy victim mindset. I can list a whole list of other problems with them, including how they use guilt manipulation to make me listen to them all the time and how they hold on to my savings as well as important documents.

This afternoon my mom saw me finding out about ways to commit suicide, I fought with them and in the end, they decided to allow me to have some freedom, but they still want me to marry someone whom THEY like (though it's not a forced arranged marriage as I get the last say. The problem is that they get the first say). From my experience every guy whom they want me to get together with are the exact people whom I don't feel attracted to or am actively repulsed by. I don't know whether to please them or to please myself.

Now that things have changed and my parents are giving me some freedom. In an attempt to make both parties happy and to resolve this in the most peaceful way possible, I suggested to my partner for him to come and move here, and that I see no need to rush and sneak around my parents' backs as they allow me to go out on my own now, so if he comes over I'd meet him. But he took it as a breakup and started blaming me, saying that I wasted his time. I got angry and retorted that I put in the same investment of risking losing everything to be with him and that all he cared about is himself. Now I have serious doubts about him, as we have no reason to move too quickly into marriage, but he's still in a hurry for some unknown reason. One valid point from my parents is that they said that true love waits. I think that makes sense, so I decided to make amendments based on that belief to please everybody so that we can possibly solve this in a peaceful manner.

I understand that my parents have been verbally abusive towards the both of us, and they said that they "meant well", but I am not so sure of that because of their unhealthy manipulative tendencies in other matters and they even lied about things my SO said that were not true, as I said earlier.

Now about my significant other: I really love him very much and I want to be with him, but he's not a very supportive or understanding person as he expects me to give up everything when he has only spent money and time on me. He's not even willing to wait a few more months for the option of him moving over here temporarily, even if it means we get to meet each other regularly and make an assessment about our compatibility before committing to anything.

We have our fair share of arguments, so I am worried that if I risked all to be with him, only to be told that he feels that I am not right for him. All would be in vain. Sometimes I am not sure if he would flake on me after running away from me, like withholding funds and leaving me to starve while I am living on the streets. So I have a whole list of suspicions about him, with the only way to prove them wrong is to meet him and take a leap of faith. Of course there is the safer route of letting him move here and regularly meeting each other, but he is completely against that idea for God-knows-what-reason. I honestly don't know why he's in such a hurry to get together with me, despite having obstacles removed.

Tomorrow is the day I have set to leave home, but I am wavering. There is no way that I can escape without his financial assistance and my parents are vehemently against me moving until I marry. But still, I don't want to live under the control of my parents and having them dictate who my future spouse will be or will not be, but on the other hand I run the risk of being betrayed (if he promises to send me money but flakes in the end), cheated, sold off or even murdered. One of the suggestions I frequently get online is to get a sugar daddy. I don't want to resort to having to get a sugar daddy to get my freedom back.

So, should I take the risk to chase my heart (either I get very happy or very miserable if it fails) or stay put (safest but I am doomed to misery for the rest of my life)? I don't want to do anymore waiting, I am tired of all these arguments between me, my family and my SO with me stuck in the middle. I am really frustrated with living my life to please other people and not myself, so the third alternative was to originally wait a month to see if things turn out better and commit suicide after that, but since I've grappled on the will to live on, I plan to run away to somewhere which nobody knows me and start a new life.

What was holding me back from running away was because I feel guilty of leaving behind people who "care" for me, but these recent experiences have left me questioning whether all these people genuine care for me or not. I'm honestly sick of pleasing everybody except myself, and now I don't even know if everything I am doing is worth it, because I don't even know who I should trust now. I feel that it's partly my fault for "spoiling" them by enabling their behaviour of treating me as a doormat. I am very near breaking point.

I want to believe that they're all misunderstood, good people, but is my assumption true? At the end of the day, why can't we all get along and be united? (paraphrasing a friend's grandfather's quote)

TL;DR: I'm stuck between three unhealthy people. My overbearing parents disapprove of my overseas boyfriend whom I have never met, I managed to convince them for me to get some freedom. I asked my overseas boyfriend over to live here for a while so that we can access our compatibility, he took it the wrong way and broke up with me. I'm torn between pleasing my boyfriend, family or myself. What should I do?

Can I trust my parents that they've really changed for the better despite overwhelming evidence proving otherwise? Can I trust my partner that he's genuinely wanting to get together with me and not out to harm me, despite the suspicion that he's hurrying to meet me because he wants to sell me off (he might be in debt for all I know)? I don't want to live my life in regrets, but I don't know for sure which route is going to cause me to regret