Dating anxieties/insecurities - Learning how to chill out!

[mindymoo]

Hi everyone!

I haven't posted on here for quite some time but I'm in need of yet more advice from you lovely people.

I recently split up with my ex boyfriend. However (I'm boiling this down to fate!) I have started talking/seeing someone. He is an awesome guy. He's very funny, we have a lot in common and when we are together and talking, everything feels so natural. I'm just taking it a day at a time because I don't want to rush into anything.

But...

I'm driving myself mad with insecurities. It doesn't help that he's very insecure about himself so I'm constantly having to reassure him that everything is fine. With me, I keep flipping back to the past and thinking that I'm going to be ignored, I'm going to be cheated on...you get my drift. I sometimes don't know how to react to certain situations. He's different to my ex boyfriends in that we don't talk every single waking moment of the day. It's usually in the evenings so we have plenty to talk about and we never confirm plans on the day, if something is planned, it is planned...period.

Yesterday, he asked if I was free in the evening and that he really wanted to see me. I said that's fine. I haven't heard anything from him today as I know he's busy and I'm driving myself insane thinking to myself...should I message him, shouldn't I message him, shall I wait for him to contact me.

I honestly do need to get a grip. Mum has told me 'go with the flow' which is much easier said than done.

Does any body suffer from these kind of episodes. I know I need to chill, I'm just finding it a little hard at the moment! Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.

mindy x

[dontaskme]

It's too soon for you to date. You need to get over your ex first, get your confidence back so you don't feel the need to be needy and insecure.

[HeartWeaver]

Hi everyone!

I haven't posted on here for quite some time but I'm in need of yet more advice from you lovely people.

I recently split up with my ex boyfriend. However (I'm boiling this down to fate!) I have started talking/seeing someone. He is an awesome guy. He's very funny, we have a lot in common and when we are together and talking, everything feels so natural. I'm just taking it a day at a time because I don't want to rush into anything.

But...

I'm driving myself mad with insecurities. It doesn't help that he's very insecure about himself so I'm constantly having to reassure him that everything is fine. With me, I keep flipping back to the past and thinking that I'm going to be ignored, I'm going to be cheated on...you get my drift. I sometimes don't know how to react to certain situations. He's different to my ex boyfriends in that we don't talk every single waking moment of the day. It's usually in the evenings so we have plenty to talk about and we never confirm plans on the day, if something is planned, it is planned...period.

Yesterday, he asked if I was free in the evening and that he really wanted to see me. I said that's fine. I haven't heard anything from him today as I know he's busy and I'm driving myself insane thinking to myself...should I message him, shouldn't I message him, shall I wait for him to contact me.

I honestly do need to get a grip. Mum has told me 'go with the flow' which is much easier said than done.

Does any body suffer from these kind of episodes. I know I need to chill, I'm just finding it a little hard at the moment! Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.

mindy x

I feel the same way too a lot of times. I say if you like him too, go for him. He sounds like a good guy.

[michelle23]

Infatuation comes with anxiety. Its kinda normal when you find someone who makes you feel great that you fear losing that. And everyone has past baggage that causes insecurity in new relationships. It takes time to establish trust.

You have to ask yourself whats the worst thing that can happen here? You break up.. thats the risk we all take and broken hearts heal. You will be okay if it doesnt work out, you will get over it. Your stronger than you think you are so stop living in fear and enjoy it