He still talks to his ex

[Ms6293]

Please help , Iv been seeing this guy for three weeks and everything has been so amazing, like a soul mate connection, so yesterday I just found out he still communicated with his ex, I saw this from twitter,he says it's nothing ,just conversation but I don't buy it I have been hurt so many times guy after guy and I'm just tired. I really really like him and he says he likes me ,he's taken me out, asked if I wanted to use his car for two weeks while he's away , he offered to buy my school text books so I wouldn't have to leave school, he texts every morning everything gives me so much attention everything has been so amazing. I just can't believe this happened. I am just so hurt , I can't even eat today. What do I do, please help

[woody]

Is your spidey sense on high alert because of the past hurts and the memories of them or is it really all this guy.

How long ago did they break up?
Could be their just buddies now but yes, within reason. I'd be urked too if they talked allot.
You'd need to find out more information like how often they speak.

Could have been some random call.

Interesting phenomena here; often when two people start fresh into new and special relationships, their ex's try to call. Maybe they (the ex)can sense there's new kid in town type thing.

Follow your gut and your heart. If this guys special and your really feeling it, don't allow the ex to waver you. Find out more information first like how close she still is to him; how long ago did they split; how often do they still talk.

but don't allow the jealousy to deter you from being romanced. If this is a true love connection, enjoy it and hold strong.

and go eat some food. Can't think straight on an empty stomach.

[dontaskme]

OMG, it's only been three weeks, dump the guy. How can you say you have soul mate kind of connection if you have only been dating for three weeks? Grow up for crying out loud unless you are still a child?

[woody]

Never you mind that O.P
Been with my sweetheart many years now. We both knew it within the first moments of initial contact so it does exist.

You claim this is something new in you?, how your feeing about this man? Then follow your gut/heart.

[dontaskme]

^^^That's baloney. If they are soul mates, then there is no reason for the guy to be talking to his ex, would there? Because IMO, that's just disrespectful to the new GF. Dump the guy, he's a jerk.

[michelle23]

You are being way too irrational and emotional here. This is real life, not some fairy tale. Your just a little infatuated by the guy so stop talking about soul mates and acting like you have known him all your life. You know him 3 weeks, now is the time to stand back, observe, look out for red flags, assess what type of person he is without jumping in head first and wearing your heart on your sleeve.

What are your personal boundaries and deal breakers? I know mine are: I will not date someone who has close female friends or exes in their life. This would be a flat out deal breaker for me. I wouldn't freak out and act like im gonna die, I would just say "sorry lad, not interested" and move the f on

[lovebroken]

Lots of men and women are still on friendly terms with their ex's it doesn't mean they have any romantic connection left in most cases and if you want to have him be clearer on the connection he has with his ex ask him. He could have known her awhile and they remained on good terms, doesn't mean they still love each other or want to hook up and you obsessing on her will only cause jealousy and most guys do not like jealous females, especially in the early stages of a new relationship. So talk with him and ask all you need to know so you don't wonder what is behind him and her.

[woody]

I'm just saying there's lots of variables here guys. Could be the ex and him had a joint bank account and need to close it, could be taxes and forms, could be lots of things to do with red tape and tying up lose ends. Lots of other reasons that have nothing to do with love.
That's all I'm saying.

If this woman's feeling strongly towards him which she claims she is, why deter when we really don't know the reason why the ex and he have spoken. We don't even know if they speak often, (and if that is the case and it's for simple chit chat, yeah, ditch him) but otherwise, why walk away from a love connection? Some people do feel it right off the get go; who's to say what's going on here with those two.

Am I a romantic? Oh yeah.

This woman needs more information like why they be talking and how often.

But as mentioned above, lots of other reasons to have to deal with an ex other than intimacy. Lots. I don't think she should assume the worst before gaining some insight into the reasons why. Be a little guarded? Yeah, of course, protect the heart but close it off? why would you.

[dontaskme]

Ah, important communication happens by phone or face to face conversation. Not twitter, helloooo!

[Ms6293]

Thank you! I will do that

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I had been in a 6 year relationship, a year and 4 months ago. I got over that and began dating months now and I am pretty sure I know what a real connection is. The connection with this guy is different, I'm not clueless to love and I am not the type that just dives in head first and falls in love for the people saying that it is not possible in 3 weeks. I'm very careful and cautious. But Iv been hurt too many times before that I am just too scared to even ask questions about his ex afraid of what he may say, so I just let him go today

[dontaskme]

You made the right decision. A decent guy wouldn't be twitting with an ex if he truly respected his GF. You dodged a bullet on this one. Good for you.

[woody]

Ah, important communication happens by phone or face to face conversation. Not twitter, helloooo!

Hallooooo!!!! They may text like millions of others but I'm fairly certain she actually see's the bloke as well.

Hey man, I'm all for face time. Never did FB or any other shyte like that. The twitting she speaks of (could be wrong) but I thought it was about the ex, not how she comm's with the man.

but, yes, helloooo to you too

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Thank you! I will do that

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I had been in a 6 year relationship, a year and 4 months ago. I got over that and began dating months now and I am pretty sure I know what a real connection is. The connection with this guy is different, I'm not clueless to love and I am not the type that just dives in head first and falls in love for the people saying that it is not possible in 3 weeks. I'm very careful and cautious. But Iv been hurt too many times before that I am just too scared to even ask questions about his ex afraid of what he may say, so I just let him go today

meh. your call

[michelle23]

Your supposed to look before you leap. See any red flags? Now is your time to get out. There billions of guys in the world so set your standards and expectations and dont settle. If something seems wring, it prob is.. follow your gut

Thats the best advice I can give you. All you gotta do is watch one episode of JK to see all the crap that happens when people insist on keeping an ex around. If they have kids-fine, other than that theres no reason to stay on friendly terms.

Sure you can be civil, polite if you bump into each other but no need for chatting online etc. Thats taking the piss IMO

[Ms6293]

And the messages online that I saw, they were chatting about the football game , so that's when I asked him about her and that's when he told me they just conversate but that's all it is

[surfhb]

You could be making a huge mistake but if you feel your insecurities after 3 fvcking weeks of knowing a guys story is enough then bail now

I text an ex gf too sometimes. Doesn't mean I'm a thoughtless dick. In fact I believe if there are too many ex boyfriends in your life you hate I would consider that a red flag. The fact that someone can communicate with an ex love while still being in love and respectful to you is a breath of fresh air and says a lot about someone's character.

I mean not all the time and all hours of the day but once in awhile? What's the big deal?