Friend zoned??

[Biziebee]

Over the summer my office had an intern. We got along famously-- have similar sarcastic senses of humor, likes, dislikes, etc. We spent a lot of time together during his 2 months here. We worked in a very close knit office and saw each other daily, ate lunch together, spent time together on weekends both with a group or just the two of us, and text when we weren't together. People of the office started speculating that something was going on and it made me feel like maybe I was doing something unprofessional. So even though I had feelings I told myself I was not going to act on them. I friend zoned it and nothing happened. However I always wondered why he initiated spending so much time with me. I know some of it was that he was new to town and didn't know anyone, but still seemed like a lot if energy was spent.

Jump to--- it's now been three weeks since he moved back. He has another year of grad school and lives about 1.5 hrs away. Before he left we planned for me to go visit and I just went up this past weekend. We've been texting pretty regularly-- at least every other day. I have a friend that lives in the same town that I stayed with while I was there. It was his last weekend of "freedom" before classes started. He has a lot of friends up there and had many opportunities to ditch me. But he didn't and we saw each other a lot. We met up on Friday night. Me with my friend and her boyfriend. Him with a friend. He hung out with me and my friend for most of the afternoon and night on Saturday. And then again on Sunday before I left. We didn't really have much opportunity to be alone, almost always we were with my friend or a group. I almost felt like something might have happened on Saturday night if we were alone but we never were. And every person we spent time with asked what the deal was between us.

So I left feeling kind of down because I wanted something to happen. I think that it's mutual but maybe it's in my head. I have some reservations about it-- I am older (I'm 28, he's 23), we are different points of our lives (I'm established in my career, own a house, and he's still a student, can move anywhere after this school year), and we just came out of this situation were I was a "supervisor" to him. But I feel like we get along so great and are pretty compatible in every other way. I think he's a nice guy and respects me. He's basically said that I was not a fling girl but one you have a relationship with.

Not sure how to proceed. I want more but I also don't want to loose him as a friend. Do guys hang out and give a girl a lot of their attention if they are not interested?? I feel like I missed my chance and now I don't know when I'll even see him next.

[Edward1981]

The only way to know for sure is to talk to him about it. And to answer your question most men do not hang out with a woman if there is not some interest, but just like every woman is different so are men.

[Biziebee]

That's kind of what I thought. At first I thought maybe it was more of a boredom thing and he just needed a friend in a new town that he didn't know anybody. But then I read into this past weekend (maybe too much...I am a girl afterall :/), a place where he lives and has many friends and things to do, and he chooses to spend the majority of the weekend with me and my friends, when he could've easily just met me for a drink or dinner if he only felt "obligated" to meet up and then been "busy" the rest of the weekend and did whatever he wanted.

Any advice on what to say? I feel like I should do it more in person, but I'm actually about to leave for a work trip for almost a month overseas and I don't know when I will see him next. Wierd for a text message? We don't usually talk over the phone much. Maybe it would be less pressure in a text? Or should I just sit on it and stew a bit longer and see what happens when I get back. He said he would definitely come visit but we haven't made any plans.