Need advice. Do other men think this is okay?

[Jagermaestro]

Hey everyone.
My other half and I are getting married in December and he's been trying to organize his stag / bachelor party for a while. His original idea was to have a camping trip over the summer but due to various things that fell through and didn't happen. So now he's decided that, instead, he's just going to get a load of his friends and go to a beer festival near to where we live. The plan seems to be for all of them to get as absolutely trashed as possible. Which is fine, because that's generally what a stag party is for!

The big issue I'm having with this, though, is that the beer festival is on the 11th of October. Which is four days after our baby is due to be born (I'm just coming up to 37 weeks pregnant). If I'm still pregnant on the 11th, then it's basically Sod's Law that I'll go into labour when he's out with his friends and too drunk to be able to do anything. But if I've had the baby, he's leaving me with a newborn just a few days after giving birth, which I think is a little inconsiderate...

I don't want to tell him not to go, because he's really looking forward to it and there don't seem to be many other options for stag parties near us. But I want to know... Do other men here think it's okay for him to do it so close to the due date ? Would you do the same ? What should I do ?

Thanks in advance

[surfhb]

Only a guy would organize something this at this time.

Pretty lame IMO

[Edward1981]

I also feel it is pretty lame. I would hope that he is only acting so because he is not the only close family you have and that there would be people with you even if he isn't. Even if that is the case I would still find it kind of lack luster.

[michelle23]

Have you told him how you feel? Maybe he didn't realize it was so close to the due date when he organised it. The baby and you are more important. My cousins gf went into labor the night of my 21st. He wasnt planning to drink as she was due and he missed the party (rightfully so). My family are very close and he would have loved to have been there but his priorities were in the right place

I think you need to speak up and tell him you dont want him to miss the birth. I would say okay if you already have the baby and your both home safe and healthy. Compromise

[woody]

Not cool. Pretty sure that'll be the general consensus here from both sexes.
He'd have to be pretty hard pressed for male bonding to miss out on his babies first days. I have hard time believing that he'd actually go.
Is there no other time for this stag? Sounds like the best man has some re working to do, as to scoop up the groom so close to the baby's birth date imo, is pretty poor form.

That's the kind of thing that rip's a friendship apart. Can you imagine being stuck in some beer garden while your child is being born? Being away from your sweetheart while she gives birth? Personally, I'd never forgive myself.

Change the date of the stag.

[hoxtonchris]

hes a child!all he has to do is say to his pals,"made a booboo lads ,bit close to her indoors dropping the sprog,best do it another time"job done!,hes still macho,plus now hes considerate and in control.

[Wakeup]

Where is your mother? Can she not help you if you've already had the baby?

If you're so afraid of him having it when he's planned to have it then tell him that you would appreciate this happening well after you've had the baby and have established some sort of schedule with feeding the baby and are more confident being alone with the wee one.

Why is he organizing his own stag? That isn't what he should be doing. As protocol goes, it's the best man that arranges the stag... which usually takes place a month or so before the wedding.

[_Richard]

Seems crazy to me to arrange something like this so close to the possible birth of a child.

I don't think you'll find many people who'd think it was cool. It's not at all unreasonable to ask him to reconsider this and if he won't do so then you're entitled to be disappointed in him.

[vashti]

I don't think it was "cool" to do this so close to the baby being born, but if your only objection is that he won't be sober enough to "do anything", i wouldn't worry... he's unlikely to be of much real help, anyway.

Then again, I genuinely do not understand why women want men in the delivery room with them. They are mostly only good for venting out your pain and frustration during labor, anyway.

[hoxtonchris]

i was at my sons delivery(35 years ago)in those days in england anyway,it was the norm for the dad to be half cut during the birth,i was ok ,i was the brunt of my wifes agony,then my sons heart stopped as he was stuck half way!!i was shoved into a cupboard while the docs dragged him out!!....god i wished i had been away on a stag instead lol,,,,,the point is if i had have been and the birth had not turned out ok how would i have coped with not being there for my wife????ugh!!no not good eh

[lost_man]

Agree with most other people, he's just being thick and maybe doesn't realise the clash or the importance of being there. Tell him you are worried that you want him there for the birth and/or in the days afterwards cos it's good for the baby, and ask if he can reschedule it forward a month or back a few months. It's only a piss up ffs.