Not sure how she feels/why she's now distant

[NoLuckGentleman]

I met a girl in my community college class. We started to talk to each other almost every day we were at college. She started conversations with me too, kept the conversationa alive as well.

After we talked all throughout the last day of class that week, I decided to ask her out as she was leaving. After pausing, she replied with "yeah, sure" in a surprised but happy way. She then gave me her phone number and was smiling and happy when I was saving it to my phone.

I called her late the next day (wanted to wait 3 days but wanted enough time to have a date before our next class) to organise a date. She seemed nervous on the phone. Unfortunately she wasn't free until after one more week of classes. This meant I would see her again before our date.

Although I knew asking her out would make things awkward regardless of her answer, I still wanted to talk to her like normal. I tried to during our recess break but she seemed distant and didn't keep conversation alive. For the rest of the day and the next she seemed odd. Even felt like she was avoiding me at times. Although friends kept saying she's probably nervous, I felt like something was up.

On the last day of classes for that week, there was a moment during lunch where we were alone. I kept talking to her from lunch to the end of the day. She was less distant but still wasn't as engaged in conversation. I noticed she had been working on class work all week during lunch and same again this day. I asked why and she said she was too busy and had to work during lunch etc. As we were leaving, I asked if we we still on for our date. She cancelled saying she was too busy and that if I wanted to do something, it would have to be at lunch at college.

From then on she was even more distant and never engaged in conversation, always one word answers to questions. I said to her one day that I wanted to do something at lunch as she suggested and she told me that she is just too busy. The distance continued after.

One day I sent a text asking when I could call her to talk about something (that something being the distance). She replied after a few days telling me to text not call. I texted her about the distance I was feeling after 3 days (the rule lol) and she replied after about 30mins to that text. She said I wasnt giving her any space and she was finding that "irritating". Honestly I was giving her more space than before I asked her out.

I then decided to give her plenty of space and not try to talk to her for a bit. Unfortunately we we had two group tasks together (teacher chose groups) and so we had to talk. I unintentionally used the tasks as an excuse to talk to her a bit but it never seemed to irritate her. As soon as the group tasks were over, she was her distant self again.

I gave her 8 weeks of space and its been a week since the last group task was completed. I want to ask her out again tomorrow as it's our last day of classes before a 3 week break. Almost did today as she was leaving but panicked and didn't. Need to find out how she feels tomorrow.

Needing some advice/encouragement. I'm battling depression (both related to this and other reasons) and have a basketball championship game to play tomorrow night and fear that Ill be a mental mess if she turns me down or I don't work up the courage to ask her out. Its really hard to time myself to leave the room when she does as well at the end of the day. She sometimes leaves early on Wednesdays too.

[Whisteria]

From what I've read, it could be that she has pressure from her parents in studying and getting the marks as you know the expectations of parents can be very high. When she mentioned about not giving her space, I would assume she may have another friend from outside of college or that she just wanted you to be the "friend" (friend zone) that was there for her. But because she didn't give you a answer really then just leave it, how old are you?

Your doing well, don't let depression get the better of you. Be strong and beat depression by bringing your head up and be happy! Sure it sucks but the more fun is when you can do the things you love, you got basketball tomorrow night! That's bloody awesome I love basketball, just keep scoring and play to the best of your ability challenging yourself to be the best! In time when you are rejected by another person, you build upon yourself and people see what they could of had or the person that you are. Keep smiling, your young and enjoy the fun times! There will be worse later on but if you can control it by sticking to your guns, you will be fine!

[Lord Darkshire]

Dude she friend zoned you. Just because a girl hands over her number and agrees to a date doesn't mean she is interested. Confusing I know. So many girls are afraid to reject a guy, so they lie. Then they proceed to use the I'm busy excuse in hopes you will get the hint that they weren't serious about going out with you.

I hear "I don't want to hurt his feelings" and I say so how does it not hurt someone when you ignore them or keep giving them excuses.

I was on another site and the advice was "just say you are busy".

I posted that she needed to harden up and just tell the guy up front you are not interested in going out on a date, instead of leading him on or giving him hope there will be anonther time.

So here is my advice....leave her alone. Like I always say go by their actions not what they tell you. Here you have given her plenty of space, and she claims you are smothering her. Now what does that tell you? She is basically telling you she isn't interested in dating you.

[michelle23]

Shes not interested. shes making that clear. You should tell her "its cool, your not interested, I get it. It would be easier if you just said that the first time but I get you probably didn't want to hurt my feelings. Anyway all good, see you around"

And then stop being all friendly with her. Move on. You can still be polite, say hello, smile but other than that stay away from her, get over her and meet someone else.

And stop friending girls. You like a girl-ask her out. Its either a yes or no. Yes-great-date. No-cool-move on..

You dont need female friends.