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Thread: he is testing me, What should i do ?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
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    Female
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    he is testing me, What should i do ?

    hey there. i want some advice about my relationship. First of all a brief background he is my first and last boyfriend I met this guy in university he was the one to approach me first. we are dating for almost two years. We both love each other and we plan to get married in a near future he has also send his mother and sisters to my home for the same purpose.

    The thing that is bothering me is his trust issue. its not that he told me about it he never told me such thing that he does not trust me etc he always say that he trusts me more than anything but every time i feel like he is silently testing me in university also i saw him many times standing in front of my class to see what i am doing (talking to other guys or not) and one day when i came out of the class (i didn't know that he was standing) i saw him running upstairs i always ignored it. now he is testing me in another way he is messaging me from an unknown number saying hi can we become friends (to see if i reply back to an unknown person) i always tell my boyfriend every thing. at first i was unaware that its he who is testing me still i told him about these texts. but now i can clearly see that its he no one else. i gave him the unknown number and asked him to call this number to see who is it, he said he is not picking up my phone. But deep inside i know he is the one who is testing me. i always try to assure him in many ways that i am faithful and he says that yes i know and i believe you.

    i know some of you will say that he is not worth my time but i really love him so much. i don't want to lose him at any cost. if testing me is what he wants then i am not having any problem because i have nothing to hide. i am faithful to him (hope he will realize it after i will pass all his tests). i cannot confront him about these things because i know he will never accept that he was testing me NEVER EVER. Please give me some advice i am feeling hopeless. i think he will never trust me no matter whatever i do and i know he will never confront me that what is bothering him. please i need your advice

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    Well, if you're not going to leave him then what is it we can tell you? He's not going to change and you have discovered that this is the man you have fallen in love with. Do you seriously think you could spend the rest of your life being tricked, shit tested, spied upon and lied to? If the answer is "yes" then have fun. If the answer is "no" then you must break up with him, heal and then find someone sane.

    This guy needs some professional councelling to get over his insecurity and lack of ability to trust. If he won't get that help, then it is very unlikely that he will ever change.

    Maybe you shouldn't ignore it next time you see him staring in your classroom window and then running away so you won't see him (or he thinks you didn't see him). At least if you let him know that you don't like him doing it and that its disrespectful and it makes you unhappy then MAYBE he will try to control his inappropriate behaviour? If he doesn't think you think it's him or he thinks you don't know he stalks you at school and if he doesn't know that it really bothers you then he'll just keep doing it.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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