College Freshmen: how to manage expectations about love?

[yukihime29]

So I've been in College for roughly a month now, and there's this one Senior guy that I've developed a pretty serious crush on. We hang out a lot over the weekends, but during the week itself he doesn't really talk to me. We text periodically, but his responses always take forever, which leads me to paranoia. He has invited me out the past few weekends to go to the movies, dinner, karaoke, play tennis, study, but always in a group with his senior friends, which is nice but I kind of want to get to know him personally much better. I don't know if its on purpose, but I get such mixed signals from this guy. I'm really not sure if he just wants to be friends, or more? And for me its really hard to manage my emotions when around him and texting him... He sends me texts asking me some generic questions (how was your day? Did you do anything exciting?) which I don't really know how to analyze, since they're pretty casual questions.

In the past, I've had crushes and like not-completely legitimate boyfriends, but this time I'm really interested in developing a real relationship. I have a feeling that I feel so urgent and impatient about this in part because I miss home and I think that getting a boyfriend is a good way to find a place of security and comfort. Is this a bad mindset? Last weekend, I was very depressed over this situation (hanging out with him but making no progress in terms of friendship/love) and it was a really big distraction. How can I adjust my mindset? Another issue that I have is that I am really not good with dealing with the fact that I'm not sure about what he wants from me specifically- friendship, a relationship?

Thanks,
Yuki

[andytownsend]

Yuki, this is pretty tricky as your guy if pretty vague. You can assume that maybe he's busy during weekdays because of school or maybe he's just like that. FYI some guys are pretty dense. For them to ask you how are you is already a big thing. Give him some time, still have a good time with me but don't expect anything. I repeat, if you don't want to get hurt don't invest any emotions. Just have fun and get your options open. With that kind of guy that you just described, you don't really know.

[yukihime29]

Thanks Andytownsend!

I'm going to try to follow your advice! I don't think its going to be easy considering my current emotional crush but I'm going to try to pull back and just go with the flow and enjoy the moment!

[andytownsend]

Although that would be good news if he's really into you. Good luck!