She wants someone to snap at her?

[Trivium632]

Hey, guys.

It's been 2 weeks since I spoke with my ''ex'' after she left me. She dumped me because she didn't want to hurt both of us anymore. We were always in and out cause she couldn't figure out what she wanted. She was just out of her last long-term relationship btw. She says she loves me but she did cheat on me once with her ex, lie to me and lead me on.

Now, our mutual friends are telling me that she wants someone to tell her how awful she was in this whole situation. That what she did to me was horrible. She wants somebody to snap at her. I didn't back then because I was acting like a doormat honestly. But anyway, why would she wants that? She knows she did something wrong but she wants someone to yell at her for that? WTH?

[TheEvilJester]

So, you heard this through friends? She didn't say this to you directly? I'm no mind-reader (by the way, you are thinking of the number 43) but I would guess that she knows she did something wrong and feels really bad. I mean, that sounds like guilt to me. It sounds like she realizes she did something bad, and feels like she got away without being punished, yet she deserved to suffer some kind of repercussion.

If she had said this directly to you, I might think she is just a drama queen and wanted to play with your emotions hoping for some excitement. But, you heard this second hand as something she said to friends.

Honestly, I would say you should have and had every right to snap at her a little bit back when it happened. What she did to you was horrible. Just beyond wrong. I wouldn't recommend you do it now. Since time has already passed, it is best for you to just move on. If she feels crappy for what she did, you know what? GOOD. Let her feel crappy. She deserves to feel crappy for what she did. Hopefully she learns a lesson from this and uses it as an excuse to become a better person. But, you need to move on, give yourself time to heal, and then get yourself back out there. When you find somebody who truly cares about you, and doesn't play these kind of childish games, you will see why you are so much better off.

Good luck.

[andytownsend]

She is one confusing lady. I think she just doesn't know what she wants? I mean she'd break-up with you and now she wants someone to tell her that what she did was wrong which means she knows what she did was wrong. Move on. She's not worth it.