Hi, I wish for the opinions of the people here about my situation so maybe I will formulate a good way to deal with it. This is the story of what happened, I'll try best to keep it as short as possible.

I started a relationship with this woman at around 3years 8moths ago. She dumped me after about 2years in the relationship because she found my attitude problematic and she was over sensitive while I got angry, offensive, and personal easily. And She was right about my attitude. She off course had her flaws too, due to not so much of a good past in her life. Over sensitive as already stated, panic attacks sometimes. She also falls into a depressive state for a couple of weeks sometimes when she faces certain problems in life. You get the point.

After about a month we got back together. She wanted another go at it. I was truly depressed for the whole month but kept self control as much as possible from previous breakup experiences. After that, I completely changed myself. I became a totally different person that even when people met me after not meeting for a long time, they remarked how I've changed. And I don't have any problem with it, I actually liked the new me better. Not claiming perfection, still over reactive sometimes and a little hard headed when I think i'm right, I find it easy to admit my mistakes when I'm wrong. But who can claim perfection? Anyway.

Now, this situation arises. Recently she discovered that a person close to her who helped her a lot in life has a life threatening disease. She got very emotional about it. Last saturday, I woke up in the morning and she was crying for a bit but she stopped. Than, after a couple of minutes I started to talk to her about some information I found on the net about a discussion we had last night. Talked a bit about then told me she is not in the mood for such discussions. I said ok and stopped. The whole day passed like a normal day, she asked for some advice, we saw some jokes together and laughed etc etc. Wasn't sure If i'd sleep at her place for the night, she told me it's up to me, but i decided to go home due to certain things i need to do. Last bus passed full up. Texted her if I could go sleep at her house. Told me better not. Asked her why, she told me she is going out with a friend. I was like "now? how come?" and she texted me that I really hurt her in the morning. I asked how because I really was confused after a normal day.. and she told me because I talked to her about the discussion in the morning while she was crying. I told her that I didn't see her so, and it wasn't by intention. Long story short, we had a small argument on the phone and she broke up with me.

3days without talking and she confirms we are not together anymore.. (because sometimes during a disagreement she tells me she's going to breakup but she doesn't) Talked with her yest on the phone and she told me that what happened is the primary reason. Second that she didn't like my attitude when we went out with her friends and got drunk and joked around/laughed alot with her friends and sometimes made some personal attacks during heated discussions(as did they, many other times, but I didn't mind, and neither did her friends, as they all seemed to like my company). Third is because I told her we were going out at 8 but I bought some food before and made a cup of tea and she was angry that we were going to be late. We were only 15mins-20mins late.

As you can see, at least that's what I think, all 3 problems were huge overreactions and have easy solutions, to the last one being downright silly in my opinion. But for two persons in a nearly 4year relationship, and taking in consideration how much I changed for her, supported in her bad moments, was always available there for her, and that she is a highly intelligent person and a student at university reading for a degree in philosophy, I'd say that a relationship shouldn't be broken up for such reasons, especially without first talking most of the issues and discussing them, but to explode over them and calling me things like "I can't reason with you. I don't want to talk with you. You don't understand me. You shouldn't have done that to me(like I've done it on purpose)" etc etc.

Now, I'm in a very confused situation because, firstly I don't expect a person that I always offered support, advice and a shoulder to think that I would talk to her about something irrelevant while she's crying about someone close to her. Secondly due the way she handled it and how she is suddenly seeing me like an evil, bad person, after all the time and effort I invested in her and all the personal changes I went trough. From one side I don't wish to loose her, she's intellectual, pretty, good hearted and very honest person. From the other side I don't know if things can be fixed, If I should even try to fix them. And secondly and mainly, I want clarification from third party people whether somewhere, somehow, this is really all my fault? Because I'm feeling going crazy, because no matter how much I think about it, I cannot come to any logical conclusion of how this is my fault and to fall into self blame. Usually I fall in a depression during a break up. This time i'm just overly confused.

Thanks for reading, excuse me for my english if it's of bad quality, not my language. And excuse me for the long essay, I prefer to explain myself and the situation in detail including past relevant situations than to tell half the story. So what do you think?