Being the other woman

[CloudyDay]

I will try to make this as short as possible. I won't go into all the details, but about two years ago I met a guy that I fell for very quickly. He was everything I was looking for- had a good job, great personality, was the same age as me, I was attracted to him, etc. We started seeing each other and I truly pictured myself being with this man and taking things to the next level. There were some "red flags" but this man always had an excuse for them. He told me one day that was going through a tough divorce and wanted to take things slow during this time. Ok, fine. I truly believed that he was interested in me but wanted to take things slow because of his "divorce". I thought after a few months once he had his life back together, we would end up together and our relationship would progress. We saw each other often, and always had a great time together. Then one day I found pictures of him on the internet. He wasn't "going through a divorce" at all- he had a serious girlfriend that he was living with. They traveled together, did "couples" things together, etc. All the while he was seeing me on the side and had no intention of actually being with me. I was incredibly hurt and angry when I found the pictures. His girlfriend by the way is about 15 years younger than him also. Anyway I ended up calling his girlfriend at work and told her that he was seeing someone else. She of course had no idea that I existed. That happened about a year ago. I did not speak to this man since then and he ended up getting married to this girl. Recently he started contacting me again. He told me that he misses me, and that he thinks about me all the time. He texts me all the time and I have hooked up with him several times already. I'm so confused by this entire situation. I am assuming that he is just using me like he was before. But when I'm with him, he's so sweet and I almost feel like we are dating. I know this sounds really pathetic, but I really wish that he would leave his wife for me. I want to be the woman that his family and friends know about, that spends the holidays with him, etc. It hurts me that I'm "kept in the shadows" and someone else is living with him, and building a life with him when he contacts me so often and spends time with me. I don't understand what she has that I don't and why when he could have been with me, he chose her. Part of me wants to call his wife and tell her but I know it would destroy her to find out that he's cheating on her. What does this man really think of me and what should I do? Should I just cut him out of my life completely? Yes, this story does sound pathetic, but I would like to know what men think of this situation. Also, I think its caused me to have less trust for men in general.

[Wakeup]

I know this sounds really pathetic

Yes...yes it does.

[dontaskme]

Cut him off and his schlong so he wouldn't be able to use it to fool another woman in the future.

[michelle23]

Why is your value and self worth so low that you will settle and allow this man to use you as a side piece? And do you not have any remorse for his wife? What gives you the right to knowingly sleep with another womans husband? How would you feel if you were in her shoes? Where is your integrity?

Ya the guy is a dog but your an enabler and just as responsible for her betrayal.

My advice is to cut this man off and work on yourself so you have higher standards for yourself and better taste in men in the future. Why are you dreaming of a life with him when you know hes not trustworthy and will do the same thing to you as soon as he gets bored or needs a new ego boost..

I don't understand women like you. Stop being a doormat and grow a pair. Grow some self respect and common decency and quit pissing on other peoples doorsteps. Theres plenty of single men around

[CloudyDay]

Thanks for the responses. I do have one follow up question. Should I tell his wife? Do you think she has a right to know? Or should I just walk away and let it be? Part of me wants to tell her so she knows whats going on, and yes, sounds pathetic again but I want revenge.

[michelle23]

You already told her and she married him... (rolling my eyes)

No its their marriage, nothing to do with you. She probably already knows what hes like and if not, she will find out. Karmas a bitch

But its not your job to tell her and she wont appreciate it coming from you. She doesnt deserve his side piece rubbing it in her face. It will hurt enough without that added knife thrown in.

Ya she deserves to know but not from you so move on and stay away from her

[Wakeup]

Thanks for the responses. I do have one follow up question. Should I tell his wife? Do you think she has a right to know? Or should I just walk away and let it be? Part of me wants to tell her so she knows whats going on, and yes, sounds pathetic again but I want revenge.

No... but someone should tell you to quit ****ing other women's husbands. Where's your self-respect and who do you think you are to tell her when you're the skank who is doing this male slut while knowing full well he is married.

[woody]

Nobody likes a cheater. I can tell your hearts hurting; well, imagine how the wife felt when you did call her a spell of time before.
Chances are if he's cheating on her, he's cheating on you too. (seems to often be the case)

And while I completely agree with what the others are saying, you do have a heart in there and it is obvious your hurting. So, what are you going to do about it? Will you continue being his extra notch on the bed post or grab what's left of your self worth and cut him off?

People get up in arms when women do what you've done. There'a a whole slew of emotions that gurgle up through the ancient brain. You are messing with a Family unit. They may not have kids yet but your messing with them. He might not be the best man out there but what your doing to this poor woman, his wife, is unacceptable, wrong and very naive if you think he'll leave her for you. Of course he's nice to you when he sees you. He gets to have sex, no strings attached. and your falling for it every time. What a shame and what a waste.

The fact that you told his wife about you and him a long time ago tells me you have some wickedness in you too. You meant to hurt her and i'm sure you did. That' nothing to be proud of.
But here you are now, calculating, scheming, feeling lost.

So go find yourself and take off those rose tinted glasses because this fool is playing you and taking you for a ride. Do you want to be a home wrecker in training or do you have what it takes to find and keep your very own man?

I'm sorry if I come off as gruff. Never did get or like people who do what your doing. I know, I know affairs happen. But you've had lots of time to do the right thing here yet you have not.

here's hoping you get it.