Ex Girlfriend and Facebook

[LostinArizona]

I have tried posting more details but I get timed out on this site.

What do you make of an ex-girlfriend sending a Facebook request to me after 20 years? I accepted and we exchanged some nice friendly messages. She was my best friend, soul mate and we talked marriage. We ended up going separate ways (we were just too young and stupid then) and both got married and had kids. I thought about her a lot even would have recurring dreams about her. I never had a connection like I did with her - not even my wife.

She has no pictures of her with her husband on her FB page and not to be mean but he is not that good looking but he has money.

I am dying to meet her just to see how she is doing? What should I do? Ask me any follow up questions if that will help you assess.

[pseudosooz]

are you still married to your wife?

[LostinArizona]

Yes I am but had never felt the same as with my ex

[moneyspills]

I don't think going to see her is a good idea. It might just spark old memories and before you know it, you both will be having extra marital affair.


[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lt6mpiWiHP4]Does My Ex Boyfriend Want Me Back[/url]

[dontaskme]

You are a douchebag for even considering meeting your ex? And what the fukc? So the husband is a rich fugly guy, so what? They are still together, leave them the fukc alone and if she's the one initiating, hit the ignore or block button. You're such an idiot!

[Apex]

Yeah, this one is kind of a no brainer. Avoid this person - it might be nice to exchange a few words here and there but do not agree to a meeting of any kind regardless. It would be unfair to your wife and family on so many levels - what if your wife found out who you were going to have a meeting with. Would you be prepared to have that conversation with her? "Uh yeah honey she was my ex from 20 years ago, and I really missed her, and I really wanted to see her"..No way man! You made a promise to your wife through marriage! IF you are looking for some other excitement or fulfilling experience in your life - I would recommend bringing that up to your wife. Do things that created excitement in your dating/relationship days with your significant other - then you won't have to think about the ex who was in your life 20 years ago. You should be looking forward - not backward!

[pseudosooz]

Yeah. You owe it to your wife to release her of her obligation to being completely emotionally married to you, if you plan on fantasizing about this woman, or god forbid, actually meeting her. The only way I would actually condone this is if you had an honest conversation with your wife beforehand and she okayed it.

[LostinArizona]

Thanks - a lot of replies that chastised me which was expected. Only thing I can say is that it is a complicated situation. My wife knows I had "separation" issues with my ex as I stupidly told her one night when I was drunk when we were dating. Some other stuff came up over the years and my wife actually suggested I reach out to my ex to see if that would help me. I never did and although I saw my ex on FB I never sent her a request or tried to contact her out of respect for both of our marriages. My ex sent me the FB request and we exchanged some friendly (kids are beautiful type thing). There's been no messages for a couple months.

When we broke up 20 years ago, it was very tough at the time to see her dismiss me and move on. It really really hurt. She was young when we started dating and eventually she wanted to spread her wings a bit. We were talking about marriage right up to near the end. I had made sever attempts back then to try to reconnect but she was already involved in new relationships. I fell into a depression and ended up settling; never had the connection like with my ex.

I really just want to see her and talk, not run off with her. It has been like 15 years since we bumped into each other (our spouses were with us so it was a brief encounter). I just want to find out what her life has been like. Deep down I know she is married and has a new life and she would never leave that but I just want to see her and maybe get proper closure.

[dontaskme]

^^^ That's BS. People make their own closure. You don't need the other person to give you that bullshit closure. That is just your lame excuse for wanting to see her.

Seriously, what do you think you will accomplish by seeing her? To find out if you still have feelings for her? Through your own admission, you already know the answer to that. Why make it worst for your wife? If she doesn't give a shit, why make it worst for her husband.

RESPECT.... Man you need to learn to respect other people. If you can't respect yourself, at least you owe it to yourself to extend that to others.

You're still a fukcing idiot.

[LostinArizona]

Seriously, what do you think you will accomplish by seeing her? To find out if you still have feelings for her?

What would I hope to accomplish? In my dream world 1. Seeing a long lost best friend 2. Find out about her life the last 20 years 3. Try establish a quasi friendship where we would possibly reach out to each other on occasion as "distant" friends normally do.

You never know where life leads you and for some reason 5, 10, 15 years down the road maybe we are both single again and any connection we make now may help down the road.

[lissa]

I added my exbf on facebook because I was curious about what he was up to and felt a little guilty for dumping him so many years ago and wanted to make peace with it in a way. I wasn't interested in meeting up with him in person or anything like that, it was just nice to say hi and see what he was up to. I don't think you should read into it too much. (Oh and I also don't have lovey dovey pics of me with my boyfriend on facebook, but that is just for privacy reasons. And my current bf is not as good looking as my exbf but he is much sweeter and I'm 1000x more in love with him than I was with the ex.)

[LostinArizona]

I added my exbf on facebook because I was curious about what he was up to and felt a little guilty for dumping him so many years ago and wanted to make peace with it in a way. I wasn't interested in meeting up with him in person or anything like that, it was just nice to say hi and see what he was up to. I don't think you should read into it too much. (Oh and I also don't have lovey dovey pics of me with my boyfriend on facebook, but that is just for privacy reasons. And my current bf is not as good looking as my exbf but he is much sweeter and I'm 1000x more in love with him than I was with the ex.)

Thanks - that is probably what is going on. But I am just dying to see her in the flesh.

[lovebroken]

I wouldn't meet up unless you both were single, in case old feelings arise and a motel is nearby, you don't want to be at temptations beckoning.

Keep it to FB messages and let your wife know you are messaging, don't do anything sneakily.