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Thread: Can't help but feel a tad hurt

  1. #1
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    Can't help but feel a tad hurt

    So hubby and i hardly get alone time. Currently in middle of renovations so our bedroom isn't very private. We have resorted to some quickies and well that may satisfy him, i need more. I need intimacy and you know a longer love making session. So we finally had a one hour window alone. Yay!! I go to our bedroom and he was working in there on our master bath renovation. I say "we got a one hour window to ourselves, what shall we do?" Kind of flirty you know. He's like how about I ..... Basically said quickie but in a more explicit detail. Made me feel like a piece of meat. Basically just wanted me to bend over. Hes like "i am
    All sweaty from working" so dont want to get all into it. I am like cant you quickly have a 5 minute shower. Here i am on the bed, our rare opportunity. He refuses to go take a quick shower so that we could be intimate. So he continues to work on the renovation instead.

    I am like wow. Sure made me feel special. I just feel so hurt. Wouldn't any guy just jump at that opportunity. Geesh. I feel stupid. So now i feel so hurt and angry. I am always there for him when he wants sex. I never say no. But if i initiate its "too tired" etc..

  2. #2
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    Tell him. In my experience, there's no point stewing over something because the behaviour that's bothering you will continue with him being none the wiser. I'd point out his selfishness when it comes to sex; that you're always willing to accommodate his needs etc. Sex/intimacy is one of those things that, although not the be all and end all, can lead to resentment when you're the one who is unfulfilled.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tkinz75 View Post
    So hubby and i hardly get alone time. Currently in middle of renovations so our bedroom isn't very private. We have resorted to some quickies and well that may satisfy him, i need more. I need intimacy and you know a longer love making session. So we finally had a one hour window alone. Yay!! I go to our bedroom and he was working in there on our master bath renovation. I say "we got a one hour window to ourselves, what shall we do?" Kind of flirty you know. He's like how about I ..... Basically said quickie but in a more explicit detail. Made me feel like a piece of meat. Basically just wanted me to bend over. Hes like "i am
    All sweaty from working" so dont want to get all into it. I am like cant you quickly have a 5 minute shower. Here i am on the bed, our rare opportunity. He refuses to go take a quick shower so that we could be intimate. So he continues to work on the renovation instead.

    I am like wow. Sure made me feel special. I just feel so hurt. Wouldn't any guy just jump at that opportunity. Geesh. I feel stupid. So now i feel so hurt and angry. I am always there for him when he wants sex. I never say no. But if i initiate its "too tired" etc..
    Yea... like you've NEVER had a headache or crampy or too busy with the babies. "Always" ready and never say "no" sorry, I'm not buying it.

    Give me a break... he was right in the middle of something and not clean enough or wanting to stop what he was doing. Get over yourself, my dear. The renos will be finished soon enough and then you can get back to taking forever in your new master bedroom.

    Unless of course; this is a regular occurrence with him and he always has some excuse not to give you more time... then I'd say you've got something to bitch about.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  4. #4
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    bloody typical !! men cant win can we,if we drag our heels on the renos or go gulf or fishing we get it in the kneck,so we do the jobs pronto and still we are in trouble! cut us some slack girls for christ sakes!!at least let us build the pedestal before we put you up on it

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    Quote Originally Posted by hoxtonchris View Post
    bloody typical !! men cant win can we,if we drag our heels on the renos or go gulf or fishing we get it in the kneck,so we do the jobs pronto and still we are in trouble! cut us some slack girls for christ sakes!!at least let us build the pedestal before we put you up on it
    LMAO... Touche (uhm, but don't count me in on those women you talk about)
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  6. #6
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    Hi

    I am new to this site, and I saw the headline of this thread, and I just wanted to ask the question. I have been seeing my partner for two years now, and only yesterday, she told me she didn't want to break up with her ex, but she said she was glad she did cause she then met me, but I can't help but feel a bit hurt by this comment and I just don't know whether to just get over it cause she's now with me, or to bring it up with her? Cause now I feel as if i was just the rebound guy? When she said this, I didn't react to it, I just changed the subject and now I can't stop thinking about it.

    Does anybody have any advice? Shall I just forget about it? or does she still have feelings for him? She does bring him up at least once a month I should add.

    Thanks

  7. #7
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    Let me ask you this.... Before all the renovations and stuff, did you guys more regularly have sex that you found more satisfying? Or does it always tend to just be a quicky?

    Because my first instinct it to say, no offense intended, that you aren't being fair. He's been apparently doing hard work on these renovations within your house. Not only that, but you come to him while he is in the middle of working, and is therefore very hot, sweaty, and possibly also very tired.

    Believe it or not, sometimes we men are not in the mood as well. Granted, I'm not the right guy to ask. I'm not like most men in that respect. Still, men can have moments as well when they just are not in the mood or just don't have the time or energy to have a full love making session.

    Again, if you had no problem in the past, it probably is just because of all the work he is doing and/or perhaps the lack of privacy do to the house being renovated. That doesn't make you wrong for feeling a little disappointed/used. But, you should give him the benefit of the doubt and talk yourself out of those feelings.

    If it bothers you enough, talk to him about it. Do so in a calm and matter of fact fashion. Do your best not to turn it into a fight. If you talk, he may be willing to make the effort, or at the very least could help to calm your doubts/hurt feelings if it really is just due to the current situation with the house. You shouldn't feel bad for how you feel. You can't help how you feel. At the same time, though, give him the benefit of the doubt.

    Either way, good luck.

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