How do I let her down easy?

[surfhb]

Oh Jesus H Christ! You've known this girl 2 weeks and you had sex.....big deal. Just call her on the phone and end it. You owe this girl nothing. To top it off, how do you know she will be that hurt anyway? The last experience you couldn't keep it up so maybe she's thinking along the same lines.

Regardless, you're never been committed to her so don't treat it like it's the end of the world for her

[Marianna13]

but maybe she keeps us and in any case must always be tactful with people's hearts

[woody]

okay, i'm confused. Aren't they BOTH going away to see family this weekend? Thank giving or no thanksgiving in Canada, are they or are they not going to be able to see eachother in person before she goes back to her family and tells them about this fabulous guy ( for as he says, she thinks he's great) Poor girl..????????

So you guys think it's better she goes home and brags about this boy she met to her MOm&Dad only to then get dumped the first day she returns to her home? Might hurt her more that way in my humble confused opinion.
Hey, hey, I agree, dumping via phone sucks but what the f__ is the lesser of the two evils so to speak? Huh, please, tell me.

get dumped on the phone and save the humiliation of getting dumped by the same dude you just bragged about to ma & pa a day earlier OR think everything tikitty boo, look like an ass leaving your family wondering and concerned about your judgement concerning matters of the heart.???

Personally, i'd rather get dumped on the phone before I went home and bragged about him.
Dude has already said he feels badly about the whole flippin thing.

She sounds nice enough. It's about leaving her with dignity. I do believe she'll get a punch no matter which way she gets dumped. Might be more dignity in saving the humiliation she'd feel if she shared how head over heels she is over this guy that, clueless to her and her fam plans on dumping her as soon as they're both back home.

what say ye? Very confused, very curious.

[dontaskme]

okay, i'm confused. Aren't they BOTH going away to see family this weekend? Thank giving or no thanksgiving in Canada, are they or are they not going to be able to see eachother in person.????????

So you guys think it's better she goes home and brags about this boy she met to her MOm&Dad only to then get dumped the first day she returns to her home?
Hey, hey, I agree, dumping via phone sucks but what the lesser of the two evils so to speak? Huh, tell me. dont ask and wakeup

It isn't nice to be dumped via text/phone on a holiday weekend, period. That is something that would stick in her mind like... FOREVER. The OP used the girl for sex, least he can do is break up with her in person on Monday.

You are still sweet woody my dear

[woody]

Hey back at you dear. But uh, read the updated version for I have question keen on your response.

I know getting dumped on phone would suck. I explain it on updatee

hope you be well

[dontaskme]

Yes, they will be away to see their parents during thanksgiving weekend and won't see each other till Monday

The OP can text her and warn her not to tell the parents about him.

She can't spend a supposedly nice holiday weekend in tears. Not nice at all plus it will ruin the weekend for the family as well.

- - - Updated - - -

Hey, I broke up with a dude once by text, and he never forgave me for it. He said it was the most humiliating experience ever to get dumped via text. That I didn't have the decency nor the courage to look at him in the eye to say that everything was over, so yeah, being dumped via text nor phone, not nicey nicey!

[woody]

Yeah, that'd work. He just tells her not to tell the parents about him yet. Problem solved. Good one. Didn't even think about that angle. Nicely done.

Oh I get it. off to tea
making me smile

[TeeJay19]

So a quick update in case anyone is curious. I wasn't sure if I should tell her by phone before the weekend or in person after. I had been avoiding talking to her because I didn't want to kepp leading her on. This morning she asked me if something was wrong so I just decided to tell. I told her I like hanging out with her but I wasn't really interested in a serious relationship and that I though I should let he know since it seemed that's what she wanted. She took it surprisingly well actually, so I'm glad.

Also, I just thought I'd give a little more back story for those accusing me of just using her for sex. When we first started talking she said she wanted to take things slow, and I said I was fine with that. Despite that, she was the one who turned the conversation sexual (asking me what I liked in bed, what my fantasies were etc.) before we met up. I asked her out to coffee and we met up. After we talked for a little while she invited me back to her place to watch a movie. She was the one who snuggled up to me, things escalated from there. She eventually put her hand on my dick and ended up giving me a blow job. She was also the one who before our third date made it very clear that we were going to have sex.

Now, was I thinking with my penis a little bit? Of course. Could I have handled things better? Definitely. But I didn't talk her into anything. It's obvious she wanted things to get sexual between us so I don't think it's right that I take all the blame here.

[lissa]

I don't think you actually ended it though. The reason she took it well is that you just reiterated that you weren't into a serious relationship but liked to hang out with her. She still thinks she has a chance. In reality, you don't even want to hang out with her anymore. You gotta make sure she knows it's completely over.

And I don't think you did anything wrong by having sex with her, it was her decision too. Don't feel bad about that.

Also, remember, you don't have the ability to ruin someone's life just by dumping them. It might hurt her a bit at first, but she's better off without you. Otherwise, you're coming between her and someone who will really enjoy being with her and will treat her right. Stop worrying about being the bad guy, and have some respect for the fact that she deserves someone who actually wants to be with her.

[TeeJay19]

I don't think you actually ended it though. The reason she took it well is that you just reiterated that you weren't into a serious relationship but liked to hang out with her. She still thinks she has a chance. In reality, you don't even want to hang out with her anymore. You gotta make sure she knows it's completely over.

And I don't think you did anything wrong by having sex with her, it was her decision too. Don't feel bad about that.

Also, remember, you don't have the ability to ruin someone's life just by dumping them. It might hurt her a bit at first, but she's better off without you. Otherwise, you're coming between her and someone who will really enjoy being with her and will treat her right. Stop worrying about being the bad guy, and have some respect for the fact that she deserves someone who actually wants to be with her.

Thanks for your comments lissa. No, I'm pretty sure she know's where I stand. I told her that I didn't see our relationship turning into something serious, and since that seemed to be what she wanted maybe we should reconsider things. She doesn't really want to continue if things aren't going in that direction so things are definitely over.

[lissa]

Thanks for your comments lissa. No, I'm pretty sure she know's where I stand. I told her that I didn't see our relationship turning into something serious, and since that seemed to be what she wanted maybe we should reconsider things. She doesn't really want to continue if things aren't going in that direction so things are definitely over.

Okay that's good to hear! The last thing you want is for there to be any confusion over whether things are really over or not.